Do bad thoughts make you a bad

[Thankfulforhelp22]

Does having, mean spirited, bad or selfish thoughts make you a bad person even when you don’t act on them? (For me I think this comes from anger and frustration I've always held inside - a story for another time.)

If you do something to help someone but do it out of guilt, with a bad attitude, all the while mentally cursing the person for asking you - are you bad?

I have problems with overly harsh self-judgment and guilty feelings. It wears on you and is a miserable feeling. I do a little better with it than I used to but there’s a lot more work to do.

Just wondered what other folks think about this.

Hopeful and thankful.

[Hidden]

No, I don't think it makes you a bad person. Everyone has things they don't like about themselves and wish they could change (thoughts included). As much as we might want to control what we think, we can't. Thoughts are going to come about. Some of them might seem dangerous, but they aren't. They are just thoughts. That's my take on it.

[Blunderbuss_bumpkin]

Does it make you a good person to have thoughts of curing world hunger? Or donating copius amounts of money to charity? Even if you don't do it? No... and so negative thoughts don't either.

If anything it is a point of triumph to resist negative thoughts and still continue to do something good, not everyone has that strength.

[Nothing_but_books]

This one's really hard for me too. A Catholic school education doesn't help matters any. I try so hard to rid myself of anger -- it only makes me worse, and I feel guilt.

I don't know, maybe it requires superhuman effort to keep being hurt, then not return bad feelings. Mother Teresa may have been up to it.

[bowJim]

Great post, a question I assume we can all ask ourselves or may have asked ourselves, me for sure have.

This is a question I asked myself today, may have asked a thousand times but remember it now reading your post,

For me, looking from a different angle, do we do things that we know we do not want to do? maybe because of guilt if we do not?, Do we do things for others because of duty, but do not really want to do them? Then we may look at it and think why have we got bad thoughts, when in reality we did not want to do them anyhow.

This is the conversation I had earlier tonight, my step daughter was abandoned by her father, yet she still participates or is involved with her father, yet each time she gets involved she feels no satisfaction or feels no benefit, so is she just doing it out of duty? or Guilty if she does not get involved, and vice versa for her father.

I too have had a lot of involvement with my mother supporting her as an adult, yet she abused me as a child and an adult, yet I did it out of duty and guilt if I did not do it - I don't anymore I add, I found the whole episodes were pointless, an exercise just to please her, when in reality I had no emotional attachment at all, I now have no bad feelings or guilt.

I would also say I did not come to this finding on my own, it was with the help of therapy, to help me understand myself and the relationship with others.

Best wishes

[Thankfulforhelp22]

Some excellent points.