Vaguely... it sounds like the typical sort of way a person who is oversensitive may be. That's not an insult, most people with an anxiety or depression disorder tend to be more sensitive individuals (hence feeling something so more powerfully).
In our modern lives where we can so easily be connected and so often people can't even bother with good manners, I'm not surprised you'd feel this way.
Its still worthwhile to reach out, you won't find good folks who you know care if you don't keep trying
It is possible that you may not be *over* sensitive, but that you experience intense responses to stimuli that are difficult to mentally navigate, or regulate.
I have felt somewhat similar in the past. It was often partly caused by a difficulty in making an internal assessment of my emotions. Everything always felt very intense, so it was hard to untangle the different emotions, and find ways to reduce the sensation of being overwhelmed.
You are not alone in your experiences and difficulties (though they will be unique to you and your circumstances).
Someone mentioned recently about an emotional wheel, I have looked at this and found this interesting. I know I feel things sometimes when other people would not have a feeling about it
This makes me feel like I shouldn’t have feelings
I do find it hard to deal with feelings and pretend I don’t have any instead
I’m not sure why I’m sensitive and I try to hide it but I don’t think I’m good at hiding it. Sometimes I feel it’s a good cop out for people to blame their actions on me reacting to sensitive . I do wonder if I’m being has lighted or am I over reacting
I understand. I never know if I'm being lied to when I know I'm being abused and I'm told it's my imagination. Lied to, or does the person not know how horrific their behavior is?
It’s difficult to know what’s in our heads sometimes, but try to recognise when you are being badly done to. Do not put up with being treated badly. Maybe next time you feel you being badly treated you could try to talk to someone not involved in your situation that can offer good advice.!
I can’t emphasize enough how much I can relate. I have been told by a counselor that I have low self esteem. I hate saying it or believing it because it sounds so weak. It triggers my social anxiety. Do you have friends? I used to but stopped talking to everyone and isolated I guess because I was tired of hearing so much negativity. It was peaceful at first but now I’m lonely. It is more difficult for me to open up to people because I figure it’s fuel for their fire to roast me later. I try to tell myself it’s not any of my business what others think or say about me, sometimes it works. I also repeat to myself I’m going to be ok, this too shall pass.
Totally agree 💯. It hurts when others make it sound so easy, “ just get out there & join a club or something”. I can barely find the right words to talk to my family. I work in retail & am ok talking briefly with customers because I know I don’t have to make any deep connection with them. How about you? Is it the deeper connections you fear?
I not sure what it is really but I don’t want people to get to know me. I worry about what I said to them and what they think of me. If I’ve upset them ect
I can relate to this but I still go and meet one of my friends occasionally. I often find that they do most of the talking, and that includes asking questions. You don't have to "hold court". If someone says to you that you are very quiet, just say what you feel - "I don't know what to say", "Yes, I'm in a quiet frame of mind today - well, most of the time actually." This can lead to a conversation about how we exit Covid. Of course, we have different problems now and they will spark conversations. If your friend is always welcoming, you don't have to worry about what they think of you. It's more about what you both think of things outside of you. Smiles and hugs go a very long way to overcoming your problems.😊
I think I know what you mean....For example, you might reason: why would someone be hurt by me ignoring their party invite if I think they don't care whether I show up or not?
Assuming that's the general idea, I would suggest erring on the side of assuming they do care, not because they necessarily do, but just because being extra polite doesn't cost you anything, and you never know which bridges you don't want to burn...And if you do occasionally blow someone off by accident or forgetting, you have a reputation for being polite and gracious most of the time.
Honestly, I'd never want to hurt someone unnecessarily just by assuming they think I'm invisible or insignificant. If they do think that, it's on them, but at least I did the right thing either way.
Of course, there are plenty of caveats regarding toxic people, narcissists, etc., who may deliberately feign being hurt just to make you feel bad. For that, you just have to know some people's patterns, but when in doubt, err on being sensitive and polite.
You are not responsible for others feelings. I do believe in being kind to everyone but everyone has their own personal issues and we can't be responsible for everyone's feelings.
I had a friend who had a son who upset people and didnt understand why. He had aspergers syndrome, might be worth looking it up.
I think I know what you mean. I used to feel almost invisible to people, as if I were so insignificant they wouldn’t even remember meeting me. So it felt like I could say or do anything because my words wouldn’t make an impact on them. One day a friend told me that my words do hurt her very much. I really had no idea that I mattered at all. I was shocked that I made any kind of impact!
Yes this is the problem I’m finding with myself. Because I don’t feel enough for anyone or that they care . I really can’t believe anyone does. This causes me to avoid friendship and lack trust in my bf. It all goes back to me
I think I have similar things happen in my friendships. I love joking around - it seems to help with my anxiety, but it also doesn't because I leave thinking I offended the other person. It also happens when I am trying to help somebody. It all seems to turn into a major train wreck in a big hurry. Overall, I have a difficult time figuring out what other people are thinking. I was raised in a physically abusive family and have a PTSD diagnosis from it. Somebody smiles, but not in the way I expected them to and it scares me. I have several very good friends but never want to meet new people or get into any romantic relationships. I sometimes feel "ruined" by my past. Anyway, it is difficult because I never know what the other person is thinking or what is expected of me. I know this does not help much, other than maybe for you to know you are not alone.
Reading the whole thread again throws up something. You are sensitive, so you worry, then you begin to worry about worrying, and you end up in a heap with all the worrying!
I call it a feedback loop. Just as some older video games can get into a Logic loop and be unable to break free of it.
I can relate to that, I have been there, but I am a grumpy old battleaxe, and sometimes one needs to put aside the feelings of others, and think of YOU.
Yes, folk can be unkind, often without meaning to, and by the time they have walked a block they have totally forgotten about you. I have realised this over the years, and it helps to know you were just a passing thought for them. Are they important to you? do you know them? Then their opinion of you isn't worth an insects cough!
It's hard to pick up and put yourself out there, I know, but You need to make that first step (scary), then another (nothing bad has happened) and another, (Yay! I can totally do this!). Try taking yourself to a coffee shop and just people watch; they aren't as sure of themselves as they might seem either.. You don't have to stay long, just long enough for your coffee and muffin, and you can come away with some insights, and a feeling of accomplishment. The first step is always the hardest.
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