depression : I’m used to lots of... - Anxiety and Depre...

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depression

Starrlight profile image
32 Replies

I’m used to lots of anxiety but now I have that along with depression. I’m working towards some goals and I’m frustrated and almost defeated. I haven’t given up though. I know all I can do is my best but as I push myself to do my best I just feel weak. Guilty but of what I don’t know …just feeling bad about myself… I can’t tell what’s real. I do all I can do but im just in pain and tired of trying with terrible results. I feel like im wasting time. I feel not good enough. Usually if I get out into nature it helps but having some agoraphobia going on. And therapy isn’t helping me so I keep canceling my appointments still on meds. I’m just going to let myself feel the pain and depression and whatever comes. I will not try to escape this time. I wish I could go off of my meds… but I am afraid of what is underneath.

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Starrlight profile image
Starrlight
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32 Replies
Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom

Stay on your meds, see if you can do virtual appointments and take care of yourself. With everything going on in the world right now I believe we all have some agoraphobia. So take things one step at a time. Having things delivered helps too. HUGS my friend❤

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Mrspjsmom

You are such a good friend. Your words calm me. You made me feel like there’s nothing so wrong with me I just need to take care. Thank you.

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply to Starrlight

There is nothing wrong with you. If there is I'm messed up too. We'll get through this together one day at a time ❤

No, don’t go off of your meds. I’ve been depressed a lot lately too. My doctor just put me on Celexa.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Thanks you are right. How many days have you been on Celexa? Sorry you’ve been depressed too. I know it’s been difficult for you lately.

Sueislove profile image
Sueislove

Definitely don’t go off your meds ! I am going through all of what you wrote about I just requested the dna test through my therapist to help find the right medication for my depression that has had a strong hold on me for almost a year now I just can’t believe nothing has helped I mean any of the medicine that I have tried this far . Do what helps ease up your responsibilities right now like ordering groceries on line ect it really does help to get some help in some areas . I am also looking for a different counselor the one I have is a Psychiatrist and has done some counseling but we usually use all my time up on medication discussions so I’m looking into other options for talk therapy. I would be happy to let you know if the dna test helps it’s not cheap it was $399 up front and not sure yet if my insurance covers any of it but got the idea here months ago when none of the meds I had tried helped . 💕

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Sueislove

Good idea. I hope it works for you. I’ve heard of the DNA testing. P.s. thanks for being here.

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to Starrlight

Sending you love and support. As others have said, l too would say stay on meds.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Roxylox

Thank you so much Roxylox. I’ll stay on the meds. I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. How are you?

Roxylox profile image
Roxylox in reply to Starrlight

I am good since I got great responses and support for an upset l had just yesterday. This is a great community to turn to in our times of tfouble, such kind and understanding people

Ryanlion profile image
Ryanlion in reply to Sueislove

I wish this test was available in the UK, Maybe one day it will be.

FantasyLife profile image
FantasyLife

i also felt all the things u felt and i sometimes force myself to work on my goals but all i can do so is not more than 30 min and then i just throw away everything like i just saved the world and deserve to rest and procrastinate then the whole day goes and if i binge watch any series then it goes on till i complete it and after that, i kind of reflect on myself and feel guilty and the cycle continues.... i don't know wat to do with myself, sometimes i feel like i am rebelling to something but feel like its all in my head..maybe taking small steps will help us both but with no limits or any expectations just doing it till we complete and if we can go on then good if we don't want to then stop and we just can do watever we want to.

but being consistent is really hard and important right. hope we both can get some work done on these goals that just keep on piling up these opportunities and time..

u know when i feel like going out but can't go and feel overwhelmed i just go to the rooftop and sit there just looking at clouds it calms me. u should also try once.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to FantasyLife

Best to us! Cloud watching sounds good.

Hi Starrlight. I like your new photograph. It feels like being alone and protected to me.

It's brave, letting yourself feel the pain and depression and whatever comes. With your therapist not helping, I'm glad you're able to advocate for yourself.

No Kafka... NO! You are not guilty! Not defeated!

Confused and hurt. Needing things to improve.

Dolphin taught me a prayer. I'd like to say it for you... For both of us... now.

I want healing for both of us. Please,

In my mind and heart.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Nothing_but_books

Thanks beautiful friend. I’m so lucky to have you as my friend.

jeffersonsam99 profile image
jeffersonsam99

Sometimes words cannot explaining our frustration situation and depression mindset with others. Only those who passed on depression situation, they will only know that pain in the soul. I hope you will get well soon. God with you

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to jeffersonsam99

Thanks that means a lot to me. You are so kind.

jeffersonsam99 profile image
jeffersonsam99 in reply to Starrlight

you are welcome

Willow2022 profile image
Willow2022

I feel the same Starrlight. Depression and anxiety are a crummy mix. Once the anxiety has calmed and you no longer feel hyper vigilant, depression raises its sleepy head and you feel like doing NOTHING. I am on meds, in therapy and still struggle some days.

Don’t stop taking your meds but I wonder if you should find a different therapist? Are you cancelling appointments because you aren’t getting on with your therapist or you convince yourself it’s not worth it? I deny thing a lot because that is what anxiety makes me do: deny, stick your head in the sand and everything is fine.

At any rate, we are all here for you. ♥️

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Willow2022

Willow, thanks for sharing about your denying. I am at a point right now that I want to get through the day as I create I want to paint outside with my kids; really live even when I feel like dying. I don’t know I just don’t feel like talking to my therapist.

car103 profile image
car103

I sent in my Genesight sample about 6wks ago. I reached out to Customer Service about when I'll see results. My fee is covered by Medicare. Check out the site. They do have some options to reduce the cost. I am hoping it will help.

I am feeling your post. Thank you for putting this out there. Sometimes when I go through this, it will lighten quicker than other times. And sometimes it hangs around forever.

All the right things: meds/psychiatrist/therapy/exercise/hobby,.... This time I am accepting the heart pounding, lack of motivation, inability to make a decision, only wanting to stay home. This is the cycle of my illness. So, I'm at home. Reading on the patio. Deep breathing and resting. I am being kind to myself and I've stopped comparing myself to others. It's painful and going through this is hard.

Sorry this is so long. You will get through. We here are rooting for you.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to car103

Smart you. Deep breathing and resting. Sounds good. That’s good you can do that for yourself. I want to do the same.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

🍵

Def don't stop the meds. So many ups and downs it does get very frustrating. Never lose hope and enjoy the good days.

Your light will shine through

❤️🐬

Light through the trees
Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14

:o such a sweet friend I have. (((((((((((((((((Soup. )))))))))))))So thankful for you. I think I’ll order some pho today.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight

Order a new skirt while you are at it. Or maybe some dangly earrings :)

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14

I like the way you think!!!

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight

Soul sisters

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

Namaste 🐬

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight

Namaste ⭐️

cbgrace1980 profile image
cbgrace1980

Keep doing the best you can. You are going to make it through even when it doesn't feel like it. Thank you for being brave and letting us know how you feel.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to cbgrace1980

Awww you are so beautiful thank you! How are you doing?

mauv profile image
mauv

Starlight you will get thru your journey one step at a time and when you think you can’t go on it is time to rest. Then when you are rready you will put on your shoes and continue on your journey. We are here to support you when you need it. We all understand that this journey has a lot of deep pits along the way. We all help each other on this path. I am praying for you for peace. Yes, Don’ stop taking your meds at this time.

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