Can rejection affect your mental health? - Anxiety and Depre...

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Can rejection affect your mental health?

Cece321 profile image

I hope I use the proper word. Is it affect or effect? Anyways , you know what I mean. I am noticing a lot of teens posting that this guy rejected them in some way. The rejection is so severe that is it making them not want to be here anymore.

Are men really that shallow? Only dating a woman because of what she looks like?

Or calling a woman a gold digger because she prefers a man with money? After all what makes a man attractive anyway?

Had an interesting discussion what a guy who stated that he “ likes what he likes”, and would never be interested in a big woman.

But does he really have any option? He is broke and will always be. He is kinda of wet in between the ears. Never really had to be responsible for anyone or anything. Woman have been supporting him for most of his life.

It really makes me wonder and maybe now understand why women will go through extreme lengths to keep or find a man but are we really ok with this?

Really looking to get an honest opinion from those who can relate to the situation at hand.

9 Replies

Interestingly men who divorce or are widowed later in life want someone new almost immediately. Women don’t. Probably because they have been expected to manage house with their career while he thinks he is a super hero if he does a minimal amount of extra chores. Maybe this is old school but I saw a singles profile recently where the guy said he would like it if the laundry was done when he got home. I can barely take care of my own space. Not taking another cleaning job.

Statistically speaking more women are single and choosing to have babies on their own than ever before. This number has been rising for decades. Abortion rights has a lot to do with this. You don’t need a permanent partner to be whole. You can have as many as you want as often as you want. Just be in a state that supports women's rights because it is getting risky..

Cece321 profile image
Cece321 in reply to Blueruth

We ever seldom agree ,but I totally agree with you on this.

Blueruth profile image
Blueruth in reply to Cece321

😂

To answer your title question:Yes, rejection can affect mental health.

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To answer your next question:

'Affect' is the correct word to use here. The rule of thumb I use is to say 'affect' whenever the matter has to do with emotions.

How I learned to remember this: In 2001, I took a web design class, and the teacher said that a well designed webpage ought to be "affective, effective, and efficient".

* 'Affective' means something like 'to evoke emotions'.

* 'Effective' means 'to cause something to happen' (think of the phrase "cause & effect").

* 'Efficient' means 'producing the desired results with little wasted effort'.

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(Disclosure: I'm a 47 year old man. I have only dated one woman in my life. She was my high school sweetheart. We were married for 20 years, had 4 kids together, many good times and nearly as many difficult times. I loved her and still love her in many ways, body, heart, mind & soul. We are recently divorced...her choice, not mine.)

Some men make all the rest of us males look bad.

There are a great many good men around. It seems that the men who behave poorly are the ones who get much of the notice.

It's true that it's normal for men to be visually stimulated, and that the first attraction a man may have to a woman is by her physical appearance. However, according to marriage and relationship expert Dr. Joe Beam, there are four areas by which people find each other attractive: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual. (He defines 'spiritual' more general as 'values and beliefs', not in reference to any religion.)

You could also use the terms Body, Mind, Heart, and Soul. However, Dr. Beam's terms spell the acronym "PIES".

Anyhow, my point is that a woman doesn't have to settle for a man who is ONLY focused on appearance. Such a man is immature, in my opinion. A man like that might make a woman feel beautiful with his words and attention, he may even spend a lot of money on her for a while, but if he isn't committed, or if he is not deep enough and mature enough to develop a relationship, then he is not going to stick around. Such a man is more likely to cheat, turn negative, or simply walk away.

A man of character will appreciate a woman's physical beauty, even if her looks aren't his 'perfect' type. That's because he knows that nobody is perfect, we all have our faults and flaws, men and women alike. But he controls his attitudes, he doesn't let his emotions control him.

A mature man knows that a woman has many qualities that make her attractive: Body, Heart, Mind & Soul. He knows that she will change in various ways, because change always occurs, and he wants to be there with her every day to witness the changes in her. He wants to make a life with her, not just have a fling. He may even have such long vision that he can see himself growing old together with her and establish a legacy of some sort with her (for many, that would mean family, but that's a matter of the individual couple's shared values and beliefs... Not all couples decide to raise a family, but any couple can leave a legacy of their own creation).

(Note: I am not addressing the money issue. I'll let others debate that. I think that the term "gold digger" is used too loosely and too frequently. While I believe a man's ability to provide financially is certainly a plus, financial provision is only one of many areas that make up a life together as a couple.)

Cece321 profile image
Cece321 in reply to STEM_Dad

Looking forward to reading your posts soon! I believe you can help a lot of people!

I do believe rejection affects it. I feel this a lot. When I am in a relationship or meet a new guy if things don’t work out I feel rejected, like it’s all my fault even though I know it isn’t. It is very debilitating and sends me into deep depression. I am in this now and it’s scary. I just want to be accepted and loved….

Cece321 profile image
Cece321 in reply to Pacosmom69

Okay just be careful with using that word depression. Unless one has been clinically diagnosed as I have, it’s not depression, it’s sadness. Us women need to be accepted and not rejected. We need a man to take care of us but if they are only interested in looks and how we make them feel, what’s a girl to do?

I do clinically have depression

Hi. I am in a different yet similar situation and yes, it has severely affected my mental health. It is a grief and grief takes as long as it takes. To outsiders looking in, seeing and hearing it talked about over and over might seem very annoying. BUT...if you look at it from the mindset of the person doing the talking, it is essential part of that person's recovery. It is a tremendous blow, and talking about it for however long is an essential part of building up a psyche that has been blasted into a million pieces. It is an essential part of trying to piece together the pieces of a shattered human heart.I had the traumatic loss of my mom in August of last year. As if that wasn't traumatic enough, I have also very recently come to the terrifying realization that I have been discarded like a piece of trash by a friend who was an incredible support for me. It is an incredibly traumatic realization that makes me feel like...well, trash. I am heartbroken. When my trauma therapist asked me where in my body I feel the pain, I pointed to my heart. It is the hardest thing I've ever experienced -- even harder than the loss of my mom. It HURTS. It hurts SO badly. Every time I write about it, it gives me some relief from the extreme emotional and mental pain I feel in my heart. I'm hoping that in the very near future I won't have to talk someone's ear off about it, but I never know. I have talked and talked and written and written about this every single day since the trauma started 8 months ago. I am sick of it, I am tired of it, and I have lost track of how many times I've wanted to kill myself so I wouldn't have to think about it and talk about it and write about it and act it out in my head.

I ask that you you please respect that which might seem frustrating to you. Again, I can only use my experience here: Believe me, it is just as frustrating for me and I'm the one talking about it!

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