Hello all. I'm new here

[Staticgoat]

Hello everyone. I'm new here and new to online groups like this. I've suffered with MDD and GAD so far as I can remember since early childhood. I had a bad acute phase for a couple years when caught completely off guard by a divorce with a spouse who came out as gay. I leveled off from that, but feel it's been worse the past couple of years and I'm at the point where I'm burning/fizzling out and it's regularly affecting my relationship, social life, job/career, feeling joy/happiness, and life in general. The feelings are God awful in the morning, winter, and now even with bad weather days. I' tried an SSRI once (I think that's what it was) years ago and had bad side effects and stopped after that day. I tried Wellbutrin and had side effects as well. I've been using Buspar for two weeks and so far it's helped calm the ruminations slightly. The anxiety triggers the depression and vice versa and around and around they go, and my go to emotions are fear, anger, sadness, insecurity, and continuous misperceptions and taking things to where they don't need to go as a result.. the guilt, self loathing, and self beat downs that follow are palpable... These are daily cycles I now find myself in. My insurance is terrible (ironic as I'm in healthcare) so I figured I'd try to get group help from others in the same boat and hopefully learn proactive tips and share experiences. Any that's my story. Hoping to make connections here.. true "give and take" proactive genuine connections. Sorry for being long winded and thank you for reading.

[md1998]

Hi! I struggle as well with MDD and GAD. Thank you for sharing your story, makes me feel like I’m not alone. There’s a lot of great people on here. We share a lot of similarities- feel free to message me anytime! Wishing you well

[Therapist104 in reply to md1998]

I agree with madi1998. I also struggle with GAD and MDD. I just wanted to let you know, Hi! and, Message me anytime!

[Staticgoat in reply to Therapist104]

Thank you SDI.. have you found any tried and true activities, coping mechanisms, medications, etc. that have helped keep things at bay for long periods of time? I would assume by your screen name maybe not, but hopefully that's not the case.

[Therapist104 in reply to Staticgoat]

Honestly, nothing works, so I resort to my favorite genre of music, sad. But, also, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Adele.

[Staticgoat in reply to md1998]

Thank you Madi. Sorry you struggle with those things as well. Hopefully you're able to get by more often than not.. a lot more ideally. These are issues I've always denied... both consciously and subconsciously, and even now, I find it difficult to accept given personal experiences and the stigmas I've attached to them. I go back and forth between feeling liberated for finally accepting I have these things and knowing the reason I have these issues are neurochemical, or I am still in denial and tell myself I'm being dramatic/weak/blowing things out of proportion/just need to get my shit together. Tiring indeed..