Childhood's trauma

[iwishforsunshine]

I try recognize my souce of stress but it seems prolonged. How can I figure out what it the stress is actually? I think it is from childhood's trauma and emotional neglect. Next, how can I talk to them about it?

[Dolphin14]

I'm a survivor of childhood emotional abuse and neglect. I work my issues in therapy. My mother is no longer alive but I know it would not have been something I could talk to her about. She would deny she had any problems. She would tell me I didn't know what I was talking about.

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[iwishforsunshine in reply to Dolphin14]

Hi Dolphin 14! My exprience is that my father will not talk to me unless something that are important. And when I was young, it seemed that I don't have connections with anyone. My mother just force me to be with my relative because she is knowledgeable and could help with my academic result. I don't want to be with her because she verbally hurted me but my mother never notice. And yea, I think I am still inside the trauma...(<_<)

[Dolphin14 in reply to iwishforsunshine]

I'm so sorry you were verbally hurt and it went unnoticed by your mother. We expect our main caregiver to love and support us We need that safety and security to feel safe in the world.

Are you still living in this situation? Have you done any therapy?

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[iwishforsunshine in reply to Dolphin14]

I haven't do any therapy and have no knowledge about which therapist is trained for this. (Could you tell me more about that?) However, I just realized my mother still cares for me, but she just doesn’t know how to care about her child's mental health. After a few years, I start to recognize that I am scared when she is at my side, like surveilling me. I was just like I am broken, without security to feel safe.

[Dolphin14]

You mom loves you. They do the best with what they know. Sometimes they don't know the damage they have done. They may have suffered the same treatment growing up.

You have to look for a therapist that states in their credentials that they are trauma specialists.

I know what you are saying about feeling lack of security. If we didn't get that feeling when we were young it follows us through our lives.

There are many articles written on this. Look for some and see if you can relate to the emotions they talk about.

I just started a new self help book. It's based on a woman that grew up in similar circumstances. It's short and really good so far. There are little assignments at the end of each chapter. It's called Jailbreak by Huebner. You can read about it and see if you think it's something you may benefit from.

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[iwishforsunshine in reply to Dolphin14]

Just let me thank you for the useful information and the recommendation of the book. Thank you for your comfort as well! I will try to look for some similar articles you mentioned🧡 But hope that I can know how to open up for my trauma...

[Dolphin14 in reply to iwishforsunshine]

Opening up is tough, I won't lie to you. A good therapist knows when to stop and help you.

It's been a long journey for me. Don't give up. You can do this Just take it slow. Remember you are worth it and making progress will benefit your quality of life.

There is a PTSD group on HU also. There you will find more people that have gone through what we have. Some of us here that have been through this and are on that forum as well.

Always here for support.

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[designguy]

You might find a therapist who specializes in treating trauma and work with them first to heal your trauma and emotional neglect. Mine uses emdr therapy which is very helpful for investigating and processing the emotions so they have no control over you anymore. The more healing you have done will put you in a much better place emotionally and mentally to deal with your stressors.

[PandaPandaaha]

I am just going through this. It took me just finally opening up to my husband (mind u been together for 16 yrs and married 5 months) about certain things from my childhood and realized very slowly talking and thinking about it where it is from. I just don't know how to approach it cause it's from my father and he is not an easy man to speak to.. I'm sending positive vibes your way for finding your outfit. My mom told me to talk to a professional but I refuse to. I won't sit in a structured environment with some person examining my every move my tone my word selection and such for the. No, I won't and cant. I refuse to be judged anymore. ☮️🥰😊

[EnergeticTortoise]

See, this is one of the things only you can say. You will know what rings true for you. Its part of growing up and knowing what and who you are, BUT don't worry this security is fleeting. Life falls apart. And, really, we are all just trying to do our best at the given opportunity, at that time. We're all just people,not dismissing anything that may have happened, sometimes things go wrong..