I have depression from last 5 years (moderate clinical depression as said by psychiatrist)
I have been on antidepressants from last 3 years.
I am not very social, an introvert.
I am not able to enjoy anything, feel guilty of not doing enough all the time, don't maintain a proper routine, don't talk and share my feelings. I feel like I am numbed mentally
It's getting hard for me to get up and continue a normal daily routine. It's been. Many years like this.
I am also facing some other issues like sleep disturbances, smartphone addiction and things like that.
Due to this condition I am not able to form a relationship. This also makes me upset.
I don't know what is all this. Can I will be able to overcome this a lead a normal life? I think about this all the time.
I don't talk about this with anyone and don't really have people around me for this discussion.
If any one can help or guide through this, I will be highly grateful.
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Docmalik71
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Just because you have depression now doesn't mean you always will. There are new treatments coming out. If the med you're on is not working you may need to try something else.
You'll find a lot of good information on dealing with depression if you'll read through some of the posts people have put on here.
I too am an introvert and I think I finally accepted it and okay with it.
Keep seeking the help you need , you made a great start by getting on here and opening up.
Going through the same thing. All you describe is perfectly "normal" for the conditions we deal with. Their is no timeline to get better. The shame we put on ourselves to get better and function where we think we should be at is enormous. Unfortunately, mentall illness is a lonely disease. I've recently been listening to lectures by Alan Watts on YouTube. They are very non judgmental and have been somewhat helpful with my perception of things.
I hope you find some relief from something. Chat me up if you need to vent.
Yes there is a lot of us around, like hermits, living from day to day, scared of going out, I'm nearly retired, living on my own, living on a basic wage, I'm a claustrophobic so being in isolation and disabled does not help. If it is any help a lot of people at this particular time, feel like us, caged! If you want a bit of craic as they say over ere, blurt it out a lot of ready listeners here on HU! I have been living on my own for nineteen years, registered vulnerably disabled, like yourself do not mix in company? I am further held back via not being able to afford to go out even if I could! I am a history nerd and usually treated warily via my neighbours, but I have a sense of black humour [which ironically always helps me when I feel really low!] so because I have been here for so long, so I'm just a harmless weirdo? I have to have some sort of routine due to my poor health which has had always limited any change to that routine. My sleep patterns are late to bed late to rise, not really flexible, my poor relations have had to put up with it all my life, a sister and nephew who live nearby are ALWAYS a welcome change! I have to take pills for my many medical conditions, even pain killers are now no use I have a high pain threshold which has very mixed blessings🙄 They are a good bunch here I have been a member for many years and have made good friends and listeners 👍
Yes, there are amazing people out here. I am really thankful to you for sharing your experience. Sometimes it gets really hard. But I pray and hope that things will get easier for all of us.
Hey! Your post resonated with me. That is exactly how I felt when I first began experiencing anxiety, panic disorder and major depressive disorder.. you are not alone. I think it’s awesome you joined this community, it is a great outlet and there are many supportive people that share certain things with you. For me, these thoughts come in waves. When my depression gets really bad I wonder if I’ll ever be “normal” too… but what I have learned is that there isn’t really a “normal” or uniform solution for anyone… sometimes it is medication adjustments. It took me 8 years to finally figure out the right medications and dosing. I sucks because at times I felt like a lab rat, a lot of antidepressants made me feel apathetic.. not happy or sad, just flatlining and for me that is worse than having highs and lows. I would rather feel something .. even if that means feeling said but getting to experience small moments of joy. I was never able to do this until recently when I tried some different meds. Everyone’s body responds differently, so I won’t say what I am on .. (it is also not my place at all). But maybe consider talking to your doc about switching up your meds ? Just a suggestion, but again I am not a professional, just offering my experience.
As far as the smartphone stuff, I relate too.. I just have to physically put it on do not disturb and in another room and it really makes a big difference for my depression and anxiety. Whether it is Instagram, Facebook, TikTok etc… there is so much on there that can make you feel bad about yourself. The tough thing is that it’s a double edged sword, because there are also platforms like this that can be very useful. I think it’s all about finding a balance. Using your smartphone to keep posting here and maybe delete or take breaks from apps that make you feel bad..
Again, you are not alone.. sometimes i don’t want to get out of bed because my chronic pain and other physical illnesses that affect my poor mental health state even more. I just found out that I had a failed lumbar fusion surgery (and I make my
Living as a personal trainer / fitness coach) so after a year of waiting to recover and get back to my sense of normal, all of a sudden it was just ripped from under me. So it has been quite a struggle. Identity loss, feeling worthless, etc. but I just started using better help therapy and I like it. It’s a bit costly but I like it.
Just know this community is here for you. You are important to this world even when it doesn’t feel like it. I am sending positivity your way. ❤️
Thank you for sharing. Reaching out on this forums and knowing you are not alone is very helpful for those of us who struggle. I spiral on and off for years. I am starting to figure out the things I need to work on in my life. Sounds like you do have some awareness of why you struggle. Do you go to therapy? That is essential for feeling better. Being able to talk about your struggles and looking for solutions and coping strategies is necessary to feel better. Medication is only part of the solution, the other part is how we deal with situations, how we think about things. I struggle with feeling guilty and feeling like I have to do everything. In the end whenever I say I am OK, it is OK that I don't feel well, I will feel better, then I feel a little more peace in my life. The biggest help is doing a celebrations journal, I list each day one thing I can be grateful for or celebrate. It could be as simple as I got out of bed today and took a shower, or brushed my teeth. Saying positive things to ourselves is how we begin to feel better too. Instead of looking at what I didn't do or what I can't do. I try to look at what I did do. My biggest problem is comparing myself to others. I have to remind myself God made me, me and them, them. No two people are the same and therefore we shouldn't compare. If you ever need someone to chat with, please feel free to reach out to me via pm. You will be in my prayers. Hugs and God
Still figuring out the things that help me and I am getting some of these. It's all about being positive and that's the hard part, I guess. I really appreciate your talking and bundle of thanks for all this
Hi Docmalik71,.. I understand the horrible feeling that your brain is numb...in my case I was having what I will call mental panic attacks...felt like I was going insane.Just suffered through the worst year of my life with anxiety and depression...thankfully I'm on the mend, feeling much better but not without medication, exercise and meditation....but when my anxiety was very high I always found exercise to be the most helpful. I hope you are feeling better.
I suffered my first panic attacks 2yrs ago. They happened daily for 3wks. I have always suffered anxiety and depression but never panic attacks. I couldn’t breathe, chest was so tight, dizzy. Day and night attacks. I couldn’t go out, it was even hard to eat because my breathing would be so shallow. I couldn’t sleep. The doctor diagnosed panic disorder. I studied medicine and I know my body so I didn’t accept his diagnosis.
Only people who have suffered attacks can know what it’s like. No one else knows. Life just stops and the panic attacks/anxiety take over. Then you become scared and anxious of the next attack. It’s debilitating!!
After investigating I found my attacks were being caused by hormonal imbalances. When I corrected my hormones, the attacks stopped!
The lesson here is:
Know your body
Never stop investigating
Have hope
And have tools like exercise, meditation, mindful breathing, music, something creative to do, visit beautiful scenery, a counsellor etc to help you (as you have done).
Be proud of yourself Moonira. You got through a terrible year, and you make an effort every day.
Hey Docmalik, I know life seems hard, and it’s not much of a life living with depression. Just remember millions of people suffer mental health problems, more now than decades ago. You’re not alone.
Meds stop working effectively after 6-12mths, so either you need another med or you need another dose. Meds alone won’t help. If I could turn back time I wouldn’t have wasted 15yrs living with depression and listening to my doctor. I wish someone had told me back then:
- meds can help but they alone aren’t the answer
- find a great counsellor, talking helps
- have a good support system or make one, to have family and friends to help you with routine, with talking, with getting you out
- if you can afford it, get a personal trainer so you’ll be forced out weekly, exercise will help the mood
- do everything you can to make your home, your space as nice as possible (clean, organised, things you like)
- even one friend is important, tell them about your condition and ask them to meet you at a set time every week, just for a coffee or a walk, this routine is very important, even if it’s the only time you go out
- no matter how hard it is, you must try to eat and sleep at set times, and plan your day with activities (work, reading, drawing, anything you like). It will take time to get a routine but you must do it.
I’m afraid I learned the hard way that years can pass by with depression controlling your life and you won’t see it now but depression isn’t an evil monster, it’s just chemicals in your body at the wrong levels. It’s not your fault. Don’t feel bad, don’t feel guilty, don’t feel angry. Depression is a disease and it CAN be managed. When you have really bad days, just stay home and do things you need (movies, music, nice food) to get through. But any day your mood is a bit better only YOU can make that day count. Life is short and when you’re old you’ll regret you let depression ruin so many years.
I stopped meds 8yrs ago. I still have bad days but I accept them, I stay home for a few days, do things I need. Then when the darkness lifts I spend better days living life!! I may never feel ‘happiness’ again and I’ll always suffer depression but I know the worst thing that can happen is NOT to try and live the best life I can.
Oh Laya that was so beautifully written, every word so true. I know it will help someone on this site. I have been living with PTSD, GAD with on and off panic attacks (which are now dormant) and of course the Trickster, a name I have given Depression. My meds pooped out last year and I went through living hell but my kind pharmacist and caring psychiatrist have finally stabilized my mood. But I have a disease and will have it all my life. For the moment there is no 1 absolute cure, science isn't there yet, but hopefully will be one day. In the meantime as you say we must learn to accept the illness and adopt a healthy lifestyle which includes : healthy eating, meditation, exercise, meaningful activities and surround ourselves with as loving a network of people ad possible. Thank you so much ....we can help others with our message of hope for there is always hope. My beloved Mother and fellow lifetime sufferer of depression/anxiety used to tell me to repeat to myself " THIS TOO SHALL PASS". And as you so truthfully write it DOES. I also say the Serenity Prayer, every word true, and have in desperate moments turned to my higher power for assistance. I end by thanking you for your wonderful post and wishing you and every person on this site a good day, a serene day. You all have a special corner in my heart and prayers. Namaste💫👏💫🦋
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Working through depression and anxiety
Getting through
Stormy weather but we get through.
