Hi, hope everybody is as well as can be. *Hugs* for those who need them
I've been playing with a few tricks lately and wanted to share, since some of them have been quite helpful.
I have severe depression and anxiety. My main thought pattern and feeling that help feed them is the feeling that I can't do things, they are beyond my capabilities, everything seems like a mountain starting with getting up, taking a shower, do dishes, going for a walk, getting the groceries, cooking... I feel completely overwhelmed by these.
I feel I have to, should be able to do these things. And then I get horrible guilt not doing them, which makes me feel even more helpless.
I especially find getting up difficult, even when staying in bed just makes me feel guilty. I have this mind set that I can't get out of bed, it is too hard. Lately, I've been using a trick: get up 10 minutes, and if things are still bad, I give myself permission to go back to bed. That has done wonders for me. I do honor my commitment that if it is still bad, I go back to bed, but most of the time, I finally am able to stay up.
As for my mindset, it goes "I can't do it", "I have to do it", "I should do it" which leave me helpless and guilt ridden. So I am slowly moving my mindset to "I could do it but I chose not to", "I can do it, but I chose not to", "it's not that I can't do it, it is that I don't want to do it". That somehow really helps with the guilt. It also gives me back some sense of control.
I'm not sure I expressed myself correctly, but I wanted to share these little tricks in case they can help someone.
Have a good day!
Written by
Eklektik
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I get needing to do thing when you are depressed. I would add “while I need to self care” I hope you can try little micro tasks. Order groceries or food in those 10 minutes for example. I got donuts when I was struggling knowing it isn’t healthy but it got me to think about something good that is no effort. Sitting in a chair observing outside for those 10 minutes or even 2 minutes is totally fine even if it doesn’t do anything at first. Can you try it? There is actually method to my madness.
Hello Blueruth , thanks for your kind and most pertinent message. the "even if it doesn't do anything at first" is the hard part for me. I get thinking "I put so much effort into this and nothing is changing". Thanks for reminding me it is useful even though the results don't show up yet. Your "while I need to self care" sounds most promising. I'll try it right away! Thanks again and have a nice day
I heard of a guy who would go sit on a bike at the gym for a few minutes and leave just so he could develop a habit of going to the gym when he had no desire to work out. Eventually he started using the bike! Method
Hi swordfishll , I have something similar. When I am better, I set a 15 minutes dancing goal. I'll see if it works with exercise. Thanks, and hope you are well, happy New Year!
Happy New Year to you as well! The kitty was assigned to me by the system, I don't know why, but it resembles a cat I had for 19 years and was very cute indeed
Oh how lucky! I got this branch of red berries or whatever it is. I’d prefer this😺Nineteen years is so long. They’re really part of the family and it’s so hard when they pass. I had mine for almost 17 years and I still think about my kitties that are no longer with me.
We do get very attached to them. As you say, it is painful when they pass, but they are so wonderful to live with. I too think of other cats I had and they all have their unique personality and charm. Do you currently live with a cat?
That promise to yourself to go back to bed if you still feel bad works for me too, but nowadays, what I find works mostly is that, providing I have had somewhere near enough sleep, I set an intention to get up. I ignore the gremlin that is telling me how delicious it is to stay in bed, and then, while I am distracted with other sleepy/dreamy thoughts,after about ten minutes, I let my legs swing out of the bed and get up. It's taken a lifetime to reach this point!
Your "I ignore the gremlin that is telling me how delicious it is to stay in bed" phrase stuck with me, it is so accurate and so apt. It helped a lot today getting up. The gremlin and depression are tenacious but i'll keep pushing ahead with 10 minutes deadlines for a while. Thanks for your insight that really stuck with me
That's the good thing about being a Coffee zombie in the morning. All you think about is that cup of Joe, you don't realize you rather stay in bed until you're halfway to the kitchen, and then it's too late.
I recently got a CPAP machine, and now I'm actually rested enough that I didn't need the coffee, and it took me a few months to figure out something else to get me out of bed in the morning.
Hi AltaChan , coffee can indeed be a good motivator, even decaf (i avoid caffeine because of my anxiety issues). I'm glad you are feeling the benefits of your CPAP. I got one because my new partner made me aware I had sleep apnea, but I don't see any difference, though I am sure it is good for my brain (better quality of sleep) and general health. Be well
Hi, Eklektik. the benefits of a CPAP machine take a while. I didn't really notice anything other than not crawling out of bed first thing in the morning for coffee until I stayed up until 1 in the morning working on something, and so I took a nap during the next day, but the water reserve in my CPAP was empty, and I was too tired to fill it, so I decided to take my nap without it. I sleep all day and was still tired. When I put the CPAP on, it only took my 5 hours. SO yeah, one doesn't notice the benefits of using a CPAP until one stops using it.
Hello AltaChan, I've had mine since March 2020. Maybe I need a little less sleep, now that you mention that aspect. Thanks for telling me how the CPAP is helping you. Take care!
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