Help My partner is a narcissist about to leave

[Sj5314]

Last night he’s smashed my windscreen on my car broken our family table and smashed our new tumble dryer this started when 2 nights ago I made one comment about him keep telling our 3 year old if he’s not quite then daddy won’t sit with you and will staying in his room all night I told him you got to stop doing this every day it’s like blackmail and plus we all haven’t seen you all day and this is the abuse I get for that ONE comment My life has been a ongoing cycle of him flipping out, silent treatment to acting like nothing even happened and love bombing we have two children witch I thought may change him and did in the start but he’s now getting worse every day he will say a negative comment about me constantly putting me down saying I cant do anything right say if I wear to stub my toe he would tell me it’s not a accident when I is You can never disagree with him or go’s quiet on you or starts shouting I’m at the point west I can’t take anyone more he’s stayed the the craven last night and is ment to be going But panic is starting to set in now am I doing the right thing ? I still love him and my children have a close bond with them but he refuses to see them if spilt up and it breaks my heart

[Hidden]

Sounds awful, why are you still in a relationship with him, he is abusing you. Your kids are also seeing him treat you this way, they might grow up thinking that it is OK to do this..

I hope you will be OK, you need to think about your kids and yourself no matter how hurt you feel, it sounds like you would be safer if you are away from him...

I hope you can sort things out in a way that is safe and best for you.

Consider calling the police if he is violent and smashes things, someday he might be violent to you.

Keep away from him.

[Sj5314 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for reply I’ve been with him 6 years now I’ve begged him to get help he’s clearly ill but like you said my main worry is that my kids are going to turn into him and he’s going to turn my kids against me I’m so scared of going alone I’ll also have to find somewhere to live no money no job as I worked along side him feel like this relationship is a drug and I’m constantly seeking his approval and love just so uttly heart broken

[Hidden in reply to Sj5314]

There is bound to be help out there for you, try looking online.

You really need to put yourself and your children first and get moving.

The police might also be able to give you advice, they might even be able to keep him away from you and your kids and you can stay in your home..

Do everything you can to keep yourself safe.

[Blueruth in reply to Sj5314]

A women’s shelter will put all of you up and help you with resources. That is the least of your worries.

[Blueruth]

I know this isn’t what you want to hear but you need to get your children out of there and seek a women’s abuse shelter or counselor. He won’t stop at inanimate objects. They never do. You can feel love for someone a still recognize their behavior as wrong. Your kids are already affected emotionally. That is Not caring for them. Neither is staying there. Get them out.

[Midori in reply to Blueruth]

I can vouch for that.

[Blueruth]

Are you selling services?

[Blueruth]

Okay.

[Blueruth]

I have never been in an extreme abusive relationship but I have helped when I could. I had to learn about it in order to help and learn I can only do so much which is very frustrating. I have seen professional (usually men) therapists, lawyers and police council abused women to stay in that relationship. And bless their hearts they so want to have it work. You can’t. It is not love. It is illness and control. I hope that is not what your message is. I don’t mean to talk “about” you Sj5314 . I hope the best for you.

[Midori]

I had one like that. He was a nightmare. He was a very driven man, workaholic, alcoholic, diabetic who never made allowances for the diabetes. Expected perfect wife and children at all times, yet went around trashing the house the moment he lost his rag!

Eventually, after I left with the kids, he committed suicide. All I felt was a sick relief.

30 years on, I'm getting there. although disabled. The kids are now in their 30's and my son is my carer.

It can be escaped from. Unfortunately, there is no cure for a narcissistic person. it is always All about Them. No empathy at all.

For your own sake and that of the children growing up in this, you will need to find the strength to leave, and ignore the love bombing which will ensue until he has you back in his clutches.

Cheers, Midori