Hi. I’m new here.

[LorettaC]

I have a good life. But, I’m always sad. I even started drinking to numb myself. I realize that I need help. I decided to give this site a shot and see if it makes me feel better.

[Agora1]

Hi LorettaC and Welcome. Unfortunately, drinking is but a quick fix to a longerlasting issue. Seeing a professional can help you address the deeper issue of your

sadness/depression.

You say you have a good life but something is off somewhere. On this safe site you

will find others who feel the same as you. We learn through each other's experiences.

I'm glad you are here with us xx

[LorettaC in reply to Agora1]

Thank you.

[LorettaC]

I already feel better just admitting that I have a problem.

[LorettaC]

I definitely want to stop self medicating with alcohol. I’m not even sure what I’m trying to numb. I live alone. I don’t have kids. I’m a workaholic. I don’t have a lot of friends. I like to run. When I’m running I’m ok. But, I can’t run 24/7.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

Alcohol is a depressant. Try to stop. If you can’t stop, that’s another issue. PM me if you find you cannot stop drinking.

I deal with my depression and anxiety with help from a therapist, a psychiatrist and meds. But that’s separate from my alcoholism.

I was one of those people who numbed my mental illness but also discovered I had a problem with alcohol as well.

Keep coming back to the site. We’re all here for you.

[Sabbath1]

Like the others have pretty much said, drinking wont help with depression or sadness. I know that too well as well. It may numb it but it will just make it and everything worse . There's plenty of people on here who you can talk to, any of us who have seen this post for example. But drinking to numb is just not a good idea . If this site doesn't help make you feel better I'd suggest something professional if possible. Hope one or the other helps you with the sadness. I know since I joined here it's been kinda helpful as far has having other people with similar issues and no judgment . Its a pretty good group of people on here . Glad I found it myself. Although I still think I may need to get some other help but yeah lol hope you can get the help needed for you

[LorettaC]

I’m trying to pinpoint why I feel so bad. Does it come from boredom? I have no reason to feel so sad.

[Opportunity in reply to LorettaC]

There’s so much that could be going on. Here is one theory that could be spot on or utter crap. Only you know. 😀

*********theory********** I’m guessing you have maybe an imperfect parent in your past: perhaps a mean parent who lost control and scared you. To cope with this trauma, your primary adrenaline response as a kid was “flight” (stay away) and hyper-control (control the outcome at all costs). Now, your version of flight is running. But there’s nothing to run away from anymore so your brain feels sad. If you’re like me, your life may be too clean. You play it too safe. You dot all your i’s and cross all your t’s and you’ve mastered it. It’s like being in first grade again and again. You don’t need to learn addition and subtraction, because you already know it. It may be time for something new, but the hyper-controlled part of you is telling you that “there’s nothing more to life and you should be happy with what you have, because you never want to encounter that trauma again.” Admittedly, a drinking problem is something new. But could be trouble. *********end theory. ******

Again, just a theory and might be crap. Either way, I wish you the best.

[LorettaC in reply to Opportunity]

Thanks for the psychoanalysis. My father was an alcoholic and he was physically abusive. When I said “running”, I was referring to exercise. I also clean my house a lot. I do try to avoid trauma. I’m extremely militant and don’t deviate from my routine. I’m good at saying NO.

Surprisingly, I fought the urge to drink yesterday.

[Opportunity in reply to LorettaC]

Wow! You already have a lot of great insights about who you are! That’s really interesting about being militant and being good at saying No. (I’m the opposite in that I struggle with routines and saying no. - I will trade 😀🤣)

Yes, the exercise. There’s a theory that our hobbies reflect our trauma responses. Mine is freeze (zoning out), and sure enough my hobbies are art and writing. Another theory is perhaps relevant here. Sometimes our boundaries, which are meant to let in the good and keep out the bad, become prisons…. keeping out both bad and good.

That said, what I really mean to say is: welcome to the forum. 🥰

[LorettaC in reply to Opportunity]

Thank you for your insights. I’m gonna stop using alcohol for a while. I’m also going to try practicing mindfulness.

[Misha77 in reply to LorettaC]

Don't miss my comment

[Mandy57]

I'm new here too. I am feeling a lot like you seem to be feeling today/tonight. Like Agora said, my life would look sweet to most people, but god I am lonely and depressed. I don't drink when I am depressed, I eat. Let's just say, the results of that have been horrible. We have to start to see that we are worth saving. When do you suppose we will start trying to make ourselves happy and stop covering it all up?

[san_ray70 in reply to Mandy57]

You did not say if you are in U.K but there are a lot of clubs you can join. I phone people who are lonely, depressed, I work for a charity. I have done this ever since lock down, I do hope we do not have another one. Churches are also a good way to meet new people. Good luck,

[LorettaC in reply to san_ray70]

I live in Florida.

[Nikiskian]

...have you had Vitamin D blood tests? I found out I was very low while I was down far as I have ever gotten...been taking vitamins ever since, and no thoughts of ending my lonely and harsh life, still! I drink moderate, and not to get happy, but to change my perception of this reality we are experiencing...if you are not able to control the amount, try adding water to slowly stop... withdrawals Are Dangerous! 👋🙂💚

[LorettaC in reply to Nikiskian]

I just ordered some Vitamin D.

[Misha77 in reply to LorettaC]

B Complex are also helpful as well.as ACV (apple cider vinegar "with the mother") i take pretty long list of natural supplements and can share that list and what each one is for if you'd like. Lavendar is another good one. Things that fight off nervous stomach, tight muscles and calm nervous reaction are always helpful. I have PTSD and Fibromyalgia. Most living with these "sensitivity issues" have one of those diagnoses on their chart... those as well as CFS (chronic fatigue), MS, and Lyme Disease. I personally believe that depression is a symptom in this case and not the main diagnosis.

Just in case by law im spoused to say this- I am not a licensed doctor or medical professional and what I suggest should not keep your from visiting a physician. 🙄 lol. 🕊💞 I personally see my doctor every 4 months and am blessed with one so understanding who LISTENS to me and respects the power of intuition and the like 🙏 it took me years of my adult life to find great primary care doctor with medical intelligence and spiritual wisdom. That's nearly impossible to find. I wax bedridden for 3 years before I found him... and i was only in my 30s and very early 40s! Suffering like an elderly person who never took care of her health properly because i was not given the tools and most importantly the confidence to LISTEN TO MY BODY!

AGAIN- decipher typos please lol

Good night for now all.

[Misha77]

LorettaC, perhaps its not depression at all as many might suggest. Often if a person says they're sad they automatically think it's a chemical imbalance brought on by illness. I want to give you something different to consider. Have you been told throughout your life that you are too sensitive or too "touchy" or that you need to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, those types of things? If so, and simply by the vibe Im feeling from you...I think there's a chance that you're an HSP. A Highly Sensitive Person. Have you ever read about that?

It's something to think about

💜

[LorettaC in reply to Misha77]

I’ve been told that my whole life.

[Daveacr1959]

My advice is like a broken record I’m sure, but it’s what helps me. 30-60 minutes of daily cardio exercise to produce endorphins. It can be done at home on you tube, aerobics or jogging in place etc . Wim Hof guided breathing exercises free on you tube too. 2-3 times daily for this . I also take 1-2 cold showers a day. I pray to the god of life and love too.

[LorettaC in reply to Daveacr1959]

I am actually an avid runner. It always makes me feel better. I tried a little mindfulness breathing meditation yesterday. It helped a little. Thanks!

[san_ray70 in reply to LorettaC]

Could you join a club for runners, that would be a start.

[designguy]

Hello Loretta and welcome to the site. You don't mention if you are or have been in therapy but you might want to look into childhood emotional neglect and how it can manifest into feelings of sadness and depression in adult life. Learning and understanding how CEN impacted us in childhood can help us understand what is driving us subconsciously and consciously so we can heal and get on with our lives.

[Misha77 in reply to designguy]

Hi DesignGuy, is there a thread on here about that topic specifically? It could help me better understand a friend of mine as well as investigate if anything left over from my childhood could trigger my PTSD once in a while. I was diagnosed and started to show symptoms of PTSD after an abusive marriage. Thankfully that divorce is years in the past, but I still get afraid from all of that

[designguy in reply to Misha77]

I don't know if there is much info on here about it but a good website to start with is: drjonicewebb.com/ her site has a lot of good information and she has written some books on it. Hope it helps you. You can also do a google search, there is increasingly more info and awareness about it and how to recover.

[HisDaughter]

Dear Loretta,

Therapy/Counseling is very helpful for a lot of people. Sometimes we feel sad and depressed and cannot understand why and I know that a mental health professional can provide guidance for achieving wholeness. It's so wonderful that you like running! Regular physical activity, especially outdoors, can help even more that medications. I know that there are people who need medications for the way they feel and it's a good thing that we have them. I just hope that you feel better on a daily basis and that it happens soon. I hope that you won't stop searching for answers and that you will do all that it takes to be happy and healthy. May God bless you!