An itch that needs to be scratched

[TitansMom318]

I feel so numb. I feel like I'm in a straight jacket even though I'm sprawled out on the bed. I can't feel my arms. I try to sleep, but whenever I close my eyes I see sharp objects. It's terrifying. I don't want to harm myself, I have never harmed myself, but I feel like I have an itch that needs to be scratched.

I can't talk to family or friends about it. Everyone overreacts. I don't want attention; I just want to feel alive again.

I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I have no control over my life.

[samack]

Call your Dr or make an appointment with one. It must feel scary to envision that. Please don't harm yourself. This will pass too.

[The_Color_Blue]

That sounds like a really scary place to be. Do you have any ideas what triggered these emotions/thoughts? Have you dealt with this before or is this new? Sometimes understanding what happened to bring this on can provide insight into how to regain some control over where we are mentally/emotionally.

[TitansMom318 in reply to The_Color_Blue]

It seems to be whenever I spend time with family. My parents do not believe in mental health. I endured some pretty serious trauma growing up that was never dealt with. I'm 33, habitually single, recently lost my job, and family takes every opportunity to comment about my life but never asks if I'm okay. I dread family occasions because they always seem to kick up dirt and trigger my ptsd.