Is everything my fault?

[BrownEyesBlue]

I’ve written a couple posts the last couple days.

Is everything my fault? Am I to blame?

[Shnookie]

Hi it’s Shnookie. Sounds like U R putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Please remember that U can be doing the right thing and it’s the other person who is not behaving properly. Sometimes people might be manipulative and say that U did something. But everything is not your fault and you R not to blame for everything. I’m here 4 U and the other people here R supportive as well. I’m here 4 U Hugs 🤗 S

[JamesSimmons]

Hello! I'm not certain of the whole story, i apologize, i haven't had the time to read through all your posts. But, whatever it is, it won't change what I'm gonna say."Blame" is tricky. I usually avoid it overall. Very very rarely the concept of it being "your fault" or "someone else's fault" is helpful. People usually overuse it as a shortcut to manage responsibility. Either alleviate themselves of it, take upon it artificially. Both are usually mistakes.

My advice - whatever you're going through - either don't think about "blame" or "fault" at all, or think about it only once everything is solved. Thoughts about blame actively prevent people from finding elegant solutions to their problems. Instead about who's at fault for the past, consider your options for the future, and concentrate your energy on realizing those, that lead to the future you want to see the most.

I hope this helped even a little, i've had many a sleepless night overthinking blame, only to find out it deepens my problems. I hope you can avoid that.

Yours, James

[BrownEyesBlue in reply to JamesSimmons]

It helped. Thank you 🤗

[Hidden]

You are only responsible for your own thoughts, words, deeds / actions. As are other's responsible for their own thoughts, words, deeds / actions.

You cannot control what other people think, says do, some may try to influence others but in the end its their choice, as it is yours what you want to believe think, say or do in response.

You are only ever accountable for your own thoughts, words, deeds or actions, so what anyone else is doing or saying that is their own responsibility not yours.

Stand strong and know the truth of who you are. When something feels good you are on the right course, when it feels bad change it to something that feels better.

Without knowing anything of your situation I would say "No you are not all to blame" and "Not everything is your fault"

Focus on events, people and pursuits that bring joy into your life. Look for fixes without compromising yourself.

Very best wishes BK