Desperate for advice please! How do I stop my anxiety ruining my relationship? It's very close to being the end this time

[Letsd0this]

We've been together 4 yrs and have a 1 year old together. I've had GAD for 20 yrs and still on and off meds as nothing seems to help. I just push on as much as I can, function well on the outside but obviously can't pretend that well at home. Ever since the little one was born we've lost our connection, there's no intimacy because I'm always tired from getting up to feed (yes still at this age). And we bicker about silly things like who needs more sleep and it's like we've become to hate each other, so even when we're being nice to each other I still don't feel in the mood to be intimate because I can't forget our arguments. I know I act so cold towards him, like I almost avoid hugs even, I don't know why I do it because in my head I want us to be close but in real life I struggle like I act pissed off at him. He can be a bit spiteful when arguing and I guess I can't get over things very well. Anyway I have always had anxiety and it's got worse lately so I've not wanted to leave the house much so as you can sense life is pretty dull in our house and because of my anxiety I've been rejecting his ideas to start doing more stuff because of covid. Tonight I said we should talk to try and sort things out to move on from the most recent argument and he's said he doesn't feel we have a relationship for the past few months and doesn't know what things he'd have to focus on as a reason to fight either. I sort of know what he's saying but I don't want us to end either. I think maybe it's all my fault and don't know what to say to him to get him to feel motivated to fight for us?? I can't just snap out of being tired or being anxious so can't tell him everything will be okay. I'm also quite guarded so struggle to admit to him that I'm in the wrong. Please any advice would be appreciated

[Marysblue]

Lack of sleep and fatigue with a 1 yr old is common and could cause the problems you describe. Hoping it gets better. Anxiety is awful. Go easy on yourself, you re doing alot and you are capable of getting thru this.