My fault ?

[lanaikaula]

I told those closest to me that I was going to be treated for depression and had an appointment with a therapist tomorrow. He said it was my fault for not going out and looking at 4 walls every day that’s what made me depressed. I said no it wasn’t my fault. Maybe I should not have said anything.

[Agora1]

Some things are better left unsaid lanaikaula. It's unfortunate that even those thatlove and care for us do not understand mental health issues.

When we get contradictory replies, we tend to doubt ourselves and our good intentions

in getting help. I wish you good luck with your therapist tomorrow. I understand the

importance. xx

[lanaikaula in reply to Agora1]

It’s ok I told my son and he is supporting me. Thank you for some clarity and understanding in this situation

[Blueruth]

That’s not a uncommon in the world at large. It is hurtful. Some people also find it beneficial to them (selfish) to keep people close to them from growing. It shatters their expectations and sets them up to look at themselves. I bet you uncover some stuff. good for you! Don’t let them get to you.

[lanaikaula in reply to Blueruth]

Thank you, I guess I should have known I was expecting some understanding and maybe just a simple hug would have been enough.

[CanineCountry in reply to lanaikaula]

Hugs are so important. I just joined but I am sending you a hug as well and Good Luck

[Lve2dance in reply to lanaikaula]

I'm with you on that... I'm sending you the biggest virtual hug xoxo

[Agora1]

Sending a simple yet loving hug xHope that helps xx

[lanaikaula in reply to Agora1]

That helps thank you

[kspeidell]

You’re doing such a good thing for yourself! I have found it’s very hard for others to truly understand what someone with depression goes through. In fact I have found that it’s pretty rare, which is why it is so important for all of us in this group to talk to each other. We all get it and we all want the best for you! The depression you’re feeling is not your fault, sometimes it is something we are doing or something in our environment that makes the issue persist. A great first step is therapy and you’re doing the best thing for you

[lanaikaula in reply to kspeidell]

Thank you !! I glad I’m in this group and for all of you

[kspeidell in reply to lanaikaula]

We got you! Keep us posted on your progress

[lanaikaula in reply to kspeidell]

Will do !

[lanaikaula]

Thank you I appreciate all of you !

[Agora1 in reply to lanaikaula]

lanaikaula, it always makes me happy to know that this amazing forum brings us all together as one in understanding and support . I'm so happy you

are a part of our virtual family of friends xx

[lanaikaula in reply to Agora1]

I am so thankful for the support and to have all of you as friends

[Agora1 in reply to lanaikaula]

Ditto xx

[Kam360 in reply to lanaikaula]

Welcome Lanaikaula, Sorry, you are suffering, we all understand, we are all here for each other. We will love and support you as best we can. So...sending you hugs and don't give up!!❤️❤️🤗🤗

[BrownEyesBlue]

It’s not your fault! Sadly, sometimes even the people we are closest too don’t understand. You’re doing what’s best for you. Don’t let other people’s opinions deter you from doing what you want/need to do. You got this 💪♥️

[lanaikaula in reply to BrownEyesBlue]

Yes thank you I see that now and I’ll keep that in mind and do what I need to do

[Hidden]

He sounds like a fool who understands NOTHING about depression. I was juat cursed with a fake who said pretty much the same thing. I don't talk to him anymore. I am better off without him, I have realised

[Artyhype]

Listen to your therapist don't listen to that guy

[WickNeo]

I’m so sorry that your people don’t understand that depression is a chemical imbalance. I’ve struggled with it for years and acknowledge its hold over my life. I’ve accepted it, but one of my brothers views it as a weakness and a personality flaw. So, I no longer talk to that brother.

I’ve also come to realize that ignorance of mental illness is usually fueled by fear that they might “catch” it as well. Surround yourself with supportive peers. Remove negative influences from your life when possible. That negativity makes healing harder for you. Your self care includes paying attention to the things that make YOU happy/content/less sad. I read fantasy fiction a lot. It makes me feel whole. Find things that make you smile a little, then keep looking for more things that bring you joy.

Good luck on your journey and know that there are others on the same path with you if we only look up. Take care and enjoy exploring your mind with your new therapist.

[lanaikaula in reply to WickNeo]

Thank you and I will !

[Midori]

If you can get outside, even for 15 minutes a day, it can help your future bone strength, with a boost to Vitamin D from natural daylight.

Otherwise a Vit D and calcium supplement may help. It is true that we aren't meant to be inside all the time, but if you can't face the outside, you can't

[bethelbee]

Unless someone has been in our shoes and experienced the struggle of depression, they will not understand it. Last year after an incident with a lifelong friend(over 50 years), who told me I was not trying hard enough to get better(as if it were that easy), I wrote her a letter explaining what it felt like to be me during a depressive episode. We didn't talk for months. Somehow we mended things but never did talk about the letter, which should have been done. A few months ago I was going through another bad episode and she said some hurtful things and basically said we shouldn't talk for a while. I have not contacted her nor do I plan to. It is unfortunate as there were times she was supportive. I wish you well with your appointment. Do what is best for yourself without regard for how others think. You are your #1 priority!

[CanineCountry]

I hope your appointment was positive. Good for you,Marcie

[Lve2dance]

That was ratched.. Wow I'm so sorry.. I want to say to some people you must believe you are so smart you do not need to think before you speak.. Depression is hard to live with. People on the outside don't get it, even if they have issues themselves.. We are here for you 💋