Struggling with weekends, i guess its loneliness

[Liah4]

hi, i work mon-fri , full time - and i have been struggling with weekends - not many friends around, infact its basicallly zero. I tried to join groups but then anxiety kicks in as its a lot of strangers - yesterday i hit a different kind of low and cried all day - i am fed up -

[The_Color_Blue]

I understand the weekend struggle. It’s almost made more difficult by the fact that the week is so busy. Not only are you dealing with a lack of relationships, but there’s the sudden and overwhelming downtime. Joining groups out of the blue where you’re surrounded by strangers can be really intimidating.

For me, just going out with the intention of making friends has always been challenging as an adult. Plus, even when I make friends, they can be busy with their own lives, traveling, or otherwise occupied. For these reasons, I’ve found that seeking connection and purpose has been better for me. In finding these things, the friendships revolve more organically, tend to be based in similar values, and there is purpose and positivity to keep me going when the friends are busy.

Have you considered volunteering regularly with an organization you feel strongly about? I’m not sure what the UK equivalents would be, but in the US we have the humane society, various types of animal shelter, the ASPCA - all organizations that allow you to volunteer with and/or on behalf of animals. I’ve also enjoyed working with The Boys and Girls club, Big Brothers Big Sisters, Pearls for Teen Girls - these are organizations that work with under-privileged children either helping with tutoring or mentorship, etc. Or there are various organizations that allow us to volunteer with military veterans (in any number of ways), assisting with the special olympics, providing meals and other services to the elderly, etc.

I don’t know what your interests might be, but my sense is that there is some organization out there that would fit them. The best part about volunteering in this way is that you’re not seeking friendships or other people to fulfill your needs. Instead, you’re seeking the connection and purpose to fulfill your own needs and create your own happiness. The friendships tend to follow and they’re just a wonderful bonus.

I know this isn’t an ideal fix. I genuinely empathize with what you’re going through. But maybe there is something here that might bring you some happiness. Whatever you try, just don’t give up. What you want is out there…

[Hidden]

Hi so sorry for you I know what you mean I only really see my mam and sister at swimming but made new friends there maby you could try swimming 🤗

[Blueruth]

I just commented on another post by happy swimmer that could go just as well be here. Lonely weekends used to affect my mondays badly. I don’t suffer from as much anxiety but there are Meetup’s that make me feel absolutely miserable. I prefer ones that are focus on some activity. movie groups and hiking groups are my thing. Much less pressure to be “on stage”. In fact the movie group has some regulars who just listen. For all I know they suffer from anxiety but of course I don’t ask. We just know to accept their participation on their terms.Another low pressure thing is going to exercise studios or walking in an open space or park. With walking you probably just say 👋🏻 and sometimes that is enough to feel connected in some way, besides getting exercise. I would avoid city squares and malls though. Too much expectation to have “friends”.

[Hidden]

One idea of mine is to put in things to look forward to at the weekends.

This weekend we have been away staying in a b and b the first time I have been away since February 2020 and I have really enjoyed it.

Do you enjoy walking and the outdoors at all?

Next weekend I will be in and fitting in some nice walks.

[samack]

Sundays are the worst day of the week for me. I'm completely alone and still that's how it is. Wish I knew how to make them feel better. Just to say, you're not alone in this. Meetups are mostly stressful for me and I agree that finding our meaningful activities is best. Hope you have a peaceful rest of the day.

[Kam360 in reply to samack]

hear hear Smack...it is for me too. Usually end up howling all day!❤️❤️

[Kam360]

Liah my love, I get it! I hate weekends too....no family around....they all have their own lives to live, but it wouldn't hurt them to 'touch base' just to say we love you Ma. My hubby does his best, but he loses his rag and can be 'testy'. You have come to the right place.... you'll get plenty of support on here, supporting each other is our goal as we're all suffering in one way or another. Depression is an awful affliction, and this country needs to hear up on speeding up the support system. Keep in touch here.. sending love and hugs, you really aren't alone. 🤗🤗😘😘

[jb042711]

Keep trying to reach out. Don't let the anxiety take over. I know it's easier said than done, but keep trying. I'll pray for you.