TLDR: what book(s) have you found helpful in dealing with depression?

[RupertBrown]

So yesterday was my birthday, and for whatever inane reason, it always sends me into a tailspin. I was headed in the same direction as the last few years, but I read a post and a reply to another post here that really made me think. I was given the gift of perspective. It changed my whole day, I went to bed last night feeling better than when I woke up that morning. I even skipped my annual birthday self-harm ritual. I went to the bookstore and bought "The Body Keeps the Score". It's a book about the effects of trauma and how to heal from it. I've been meaning to read it for years, and I was looking for suggestions for similar books, perhaps regarding depression.

[Nothing_but_books]

Hi! Great news. A birthday without the usual "celebration".

Well, I know this isn't exactly what you're asking, but self-help books don't do it for me. Never did.

I find staying away from fiction and poetry that make me worse (duh) is a good idea. No more immersing myself in misery. Definitely no nihilism. Sylvia Plath -- nope.

I find comfort reading things that remind me of the good in people. Of human connections.

When I can't make it through a novel or an epic poem, I read short works. When that's too hard, I listen to readings.

"went to bed last night feeling better than when I woke up"

That's what we're here trying for.

[RupertBrown in reply to Nothing_but_books]

I don't typically care for self help books either. It's the main reason I didn't get this book sooner I guess. I like it because so far it's very heavy on the science behind trauma. I already have learned a lot and I'm only on chapter 4!

[Nothing_but_books in reply to RupertBrown]

I'd love to hear more about the book as you go along. The gift of perspective. Our forum has helped me that way too, many times.

[RupertBrown in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Ok. So far it's dealt with the history of the field. How yhey arrived at classifying trauma disorders in the first place. Author was a Harvard trained psychiatrist who did a lot of work with Vietnam vets in the 70"s. Back then PTSD was still called shell shock and they knew very little about it. Starting to get into how parts of the mind get stuck at the moment of trauma and how that affects behavior going forward.

[Nothing_but_books in reply to RupertBrown]

Thanks! I like that there's a history. Does the book just describe the terrain, or eventually get to: this is how you begin to heal? I watched the video yesterday. He seemed able to explain clearly.

[RupertBrown in reply to Nothing_but_books]

I believe the second half of the book gets into the nuts and bolts of healing and recovery. It's probably the most highly recommended book I've seen for victims of CSA, (and any trauma), so I think it does provide actionable information for healing eventually. It seems like the earlier chapters are devoted to imparting an understanding of the mechanics of trauma. He makes the point that without this understanding, which acts as a foundation, healing is difficult. I'm extremely anxious to read a few more chapters and see where it goes. I'm already beginning to see many of my own behaviors and habits described as symptoms of trauma, so hopefully the useful stuff later in the book will apply to me as well!

[Nothing_but_books in reply to RupertBrown]

Sorta funny, in a warped way. A book about healing trauma makes you "extremely anxious to read..." Join the club. Sigh.

If I had the get up and go, I suppose I'd get up and try to read it myself. I don't. I'm enjoying hearing about it though.

[Agora1]

Happy Birthday RupertBrown... yesterday was a rebirth for you in not doing theannual ritual harm. You did something good for yourself by purchasing a help book.

It's funny how you have been wanting to read it for so long and yesterday you gave

yourself that gift. May this coming year bring you the answers and peace you have

been looking for. All my best to you xx

[RupertBrown in reply to Agora1]

Thanks for the birthday wishes. There's a line in one of my favorite songs "Walk", by Blind Melon, that goes "...and I can't believe that I have to bang my head against this wall again. But the blows they have just a little more space in between them, gonna take a breath and try again." That's kind of where I'm at right now. Tired of banging my head against the same wall over and over. So I decided to take a breath and try again, but try something different this time. Can't expect different reaults if you just keep doing the same things, right? Thanks, Agora, for the warm wishes. I'm hoping this coming year brings some answers and peace too! And I hope you're doing well also.

[Nothing_but_books]

Look what I just found:

healthunlocked.com/healmypt....

[RupertBrown in reply to Nothing_but_books]

Thanks for the link. Interesting video. I just read the chapter about the Prozac trials with the combat vets. I don't know a lot about PTSD, but I'm excited to read more about it.

[Nothing_but_books]

You're welcome. From your description, I am reminded of the film The King's Speech. In the movie, we learn Lionel Logue had been asked to help shell-shocked war veterans. That real life experience gives him insight into teaching speech therapy, that the medical doctors of the day lacked.

I'm trying to say that actually seeing what works, in the trenches so to speak, matters.

[samack]

Read or watch anything by Dr. Gabor Mate on trauma Also Pete Walker.. I don't know about depression material, but an interesting one is The Noonday Demon, Andrew Solomon for our more or less current mindset, rather than treatment self help. Much has changed even since then. I cant find anything self help for depression very interesting. I'd like to know too.i know what I you mean about birthdays, however best wishes for the coming year.

[RupertBrown in reply to samack]

I will look into these, thank you. Also thank you for the warm wishes! Every little bit helps. This birthday b.s. of mine is getting old. It gets worse every year it seems. All because I get stuck in my own head, stuck in a loop. From an outside perspective it all probably looks and sounds stupid and ridiculous. I might be grasping at straws but maybe I'll glean something useful from the book I got. It seems pretty highly regarded amongst trauma survivors on the forums, so maybe there's something to it. Anyway, sorry for the diatribe. Thanks again!

[samack in reply to RupertBrown]

It doesn't sound stupid at all. Its common because it can be a trigger like holidays. I'm having trouble with it all too. I want to bay at the moon on Halloween or turn into bat that can fly without light,, but I have no energy.

[Blueruth]

Brene Brown. I actually haven't read any from start to finish but I have taken workshops and had a therapist who went through her training for therapists. I have read chapters as my mind has grown. Gifts of Imperfection is a good place to start with depression though it is criticized for focusing on mothers which is valid because her early research specifically focused on women. Daring Greatly is more agnostic. It dives into guilt and shame and why we experience these emotions and what we can do about it. I read other books through out the years but they all served a purpose at that moment so it is hard to remember them.

I don't like my birthday. It is a cool day but I often got sick at the beginning of the cold season growing up and it got usurped by halloween. Then my mom used to use it to send passive aggressive messages. Plus it is the beginning of the holiday season which is no picnic either. So if I do mention it, it is on the day of.

[RupertBrown]

Thanks so much for the suggestions. I'm going to check out that Daring Greatly. Definitely sounds interesting and like I might take something away from it. Sorry you've had those negative things associated with your birthday. For me it's an internal thing. People want to make a fuss. I've trained myself over the years to think I like being invisible. That way I can focus on the daily grind and not look at myself. I really like the days following my birthday. A return to routines and running away. I don't know how much of this made any sense, but thanks for the reply.