Improvement tips: Hello. I’m new here... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

87,592 members82,272 posts

Improvement tips

osnon profile image
30 Replies

Hello. I’m new here

What are the best mental health improvement tip for an introvert?

Written by
osnon profile image
osnon
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
30 Replies
Lefty_Epee profile image
Lefty_Epee

After reading your bio, I would recommend trying to meet new people (reaching out through this platform is a great way to meet people), post often so we can become more acquainted with your goals and struggles so we can offer better advice and comfort, go out into nature, whether it be a hike, a walk, painting nature, just lying in the grass or something else, just try and get out, it can help a lot. Physical activity helps some people, I'd personally recommend fencing; it sport doesn't require you to be in the best shape to learn and the parts of your body that it requires to be strong strengthen quickly. Easiest to hardest blade to learn is epee, then foil, then saber. Music is a great way to express yourself, and connect with people. Hope some of this helps and welcome to HealthUnlocked!

Isolated5 profile image
Isolated5 in reply to Lefty_Epee

Thanks. These are all useful suggestions. And most of them I already engage in. What I'm looking for is a comfortable place to discuss the things and feelings that dog me with others and listen to what they have to say about themselves as well.

osnon profile image
osnon in reply to Lefty_Epee

Lol. The part of the world I’m from, these activities are pretty unusual and inexistent. I see lot of recommendations about physical activities tho. Kicked things off already

samack profile image
samack

Introversion is fine. Are you asking how to reach out more? I'm an introvert but at times can be extroverted on the outside. Thats when I feel confident in myself. How to become more confident? I'm in therapy for that. Not much help, am I?

Isolated5 profile image
Isolated5 in reply to samack

No. I appreciate your openness. I too am an individual therapy. It's IFS therapy so it's a lot about things within me from the past. The problems I'm having that led me to this exchange service are in the present in that I have not developed any close friendships in my life and now I sort of regret it.

samack profile image
samack in reply to Isolated5

What is IFS therapy? I have too many regrets to name. That's another goal I'm working on. The past is our challenge to put behind us. Its painful.

Isolated5 profile image
Isolated5 in reply to samack

It's a therapy involving identifying parts of ourselves often located in the past at different ages that give us a lot of emotional trouble. Assisted by a trained therapist you communicate with the parts and seek resolve and harmony within involving all of your parts. I've only had five sessions but it seems to be working. I came from a dysfunctional family with abusive and neglectful parents and it's left it's scars on me which I'm trying to heal . I hated my parents at one time or another and there was really no sense of family. My parents and younger sister are dead and I don't know if one of my brothers is alive and I have had nothing to do with either these two brothers for a long time. Just the kind of stuff you can have everyday conversations with about people so I didn't for years.

samack profile image
samack in reply to Isolated5

Interesting type of therapy. Its so understandable you are having difficulties that are not your fault. I am in trauma therapy called NARM. Neuroaffective Relational Model. It adds somatic experiencing. All good.

Isolated5 profile image
Isolated5 in reply to samack

Narm sounds interesting. Different therapeutic approaches have always seemed interesting to me. I hope it is helping you whatever the contents of your trauma are. For me I ran for years from all this stuff and I worked and thought I left it behind but no it was always with me kind of distorting my behavior so that people around me were uncomfortable probably. Now here I am.Things that should have been long over somehow are still with me. I hope to be relieved of this by the therapy I'm involved in.

Isolated5 profile image
Isolated5 in reply to samack

Interesting. NARM sounds like something I could benefit from. I'm familiar with Bolby's work and I am definitely avoidant dismissive to a degree that has affected my interpersonal relationships.

samack profile image
samack in reply to Isolated5

I'm there too. Avoidant. You can see some info on YouTube. I warn you, it's boring online. Healing Developmental Trauma is book. Laurence Heller. I studied Bowlby decades ago. Man, they never elaborated back then how much it affects your whole life.

Isolated5 profile image
Isolated5 in reply to samack

Yes. I only became aware of it in the past couple of years. My early home life was quite unpleasant. Very little affection and love in the house and a emotionally disturbed mother who didn't want to be a mother at all. It wasn't hard to find myself or the group I was in that literature! Avoidant dismissive that's me. I have no close friends and of course didn't want any. No one was going to get too close to me! And of course a poor relationship with my spouse. A really helpful text I found is Attachment in Adults Clinical and Developmental Perspectives Edited by Michael B. Sperling and William H. Berman. It's written by clinicians for clinicians. But if you're pretty well familiar with the literature in the behavioral sciences and psychology you can get much from it and by that I mean personal information that you can apply to yourself .I have so many underlines in that book. It is fascinating. Mary Ainsworth's experiment that shows how this could all develop and come together is mentioned there as well. I could see my family background and myself and how it all fit. An example of how this state was instilled in me early is when I was little my mother told me don't call me Mommy. If you must you can call me Mother but I prefer Jean. No affection please I learned this early. If you can get a copy of the above text I think you can get a lot out of it. In terms of insight and self-awareness. I appreciate being able to find someone to share these things with. Thank you.

samack profile image
samack in reply to Isolated5

I will look for the book. Thank You! Yes I understand how we were sucked into our situations. Your insights now will help you break through. Its a rough road but people say its worth it. More power to us.

Isolated5 profile image
Isolated5 in reply to samack

Thank you. Peace be with you. ☸️

osnon profile image
osnon in reply to samack

I’m a pretty social guy with lot of friends, but I honestly prefer my own company

samack profile image
samack in reply to osnon

Know what you mean. I don't prefer my own company but my avoidance made socializing difficult. Been lonely forever.

Isolated5 profile image
Isolated5

What about being an introvert bothers you? That is how is it negatively affecting you?

Try finding introverted friends :)

osnon profile image
osnon in reply to Against_the_current

You know that’s difficult 😅

Against_the_current profile image
Against_the_current in reply to osnon

It is. But i thought it was a smart move 😅

samack profile image
samack

there are so many of us. Its too bad that there isn't groups for this. Peer groups not therapy

Married1978 profile image
Married1978 in reply to samack

That's what frustates me. We have no group therapy. To anyone with this service I would suggest going to a meeting. I keep telling my therapist I would like to hear other peoples' issues and how they have dealt with them for suggestions. I liked groups in the hospital. I discovered acceptance from the groups and good advice and lived experiences.I don't have that option so I go to a therapist to talk things through and get suggestions. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be alone unless it is causing you problems in life. Sometimes I can be on a room full of people and still feel loneliness

Lotz profile image
Lotz

Check out the website Insight Timer for free mindfulness and meditation recordings

Hope4me1 profile image
Hope4me1 in reply to Lotz

I, too, have this app and enjoy it immensely! It has so many options to choose. Meditation, music, new concepts, etc.😊

osnon profile image
osnon in reply to Lotz

Thank you

Lotz profile image
Lotz in reply to osnon

When things get difficult I benefit from speaking out, be it friends, neighbours or various support groups. There are so many tactics to help calm my endless chattering mind.

One neighbour recently said 'Your chattering mind is simply imagination'. Another Peer reminded me of the power of chanting 'This too shall pass'.

I am so grateful for the internet, especially during this pandemic. I am able to access supportive recordings with lovely ambient music including meditations of body scans and hypnotherapy.

Chatting to a friend at the local allotment BBQ, she discussed the importance of looking after our gut health in order to support our mental health. Which reminded me of how much better I feel if I eat a rainbow diet including lots of colours especially beetroot.

One support group taught me the ability to travel through life up in the air like a security camera observing. As I am one that absorbs emotions a bit too easily. This detachment has been a great help. Along with choosing wisely what I watch on the tele or the internet.

I must remember to pamper and treat myself. A nice bath, watching a film, fill the home with lovely aromatherapy mist, go for a nice walk surrounded by nature.

Isinatra profile image
Isinatra

I have been an introvert all my life. At the beginning it was called shyness, then the term morphed into introvert, recluse and finally social anxiety. I was always forced by necessity to fight against my true nature, which until later in life, I realized I was being traumatized by doing so. There weren’t books to read back then and what was available , was more confusing than helpful. Same with the therapy I received. I’m also treatment resistant. The realization simplified things for me. Bottom line…..avoid situations that I have come to know are uncomfortable. I find alternatives to fill the void and it doesn’t take much because I like my own company and the environment I have created. I have, for now, found some peace. But I’m at the mercy of life and my life could change at any time, and I’ll deal with that when and if it happens. I still wish I could be more “normal”, but I’ve accepted that I never will be. And that’s ok.🌸🙌🏼

samack profile image
samack in reply to Isinatra

Introverts are more sensitive than extroverts and need less outside stimulation. Thats normal but deemed inferior to extroversion in our culture. I can and do feel lonely in a crowd. I set myself up to have to start life anew, again!, and failed to care anymore. I am like the proverbial dog chasing its tail. That means I am alone and disconnected and longing for connection but afraid of it at the same time. That is different than introversion, its trauma. Blessed are those who enjoy their time by themselves.

Isinatra profile image
Isinatra in reply to samack

If I didn’t fill my void of human contact in some way, I’m sure I would be more lonely. On occasion, I do get lonely, and when I do, I have a bag of tools I’ve collected over the years to remedy that. I get a lot of human interaction here on HU, I have a friend of 25 years I can interact with in person if I want to. I’ve made sure that I keep in touch with my siblings who live quite a distance from me (thank goodness😉). Just a trip to the grocery is a social outing for me. All these are available to me when and if I choose them to be. To get to this point, it took a lot of trial and error. It took work and time. Yes, when I was younger, I would feel that I was missing out on so much if I wasn’t in the middle of everything. Maybe my aging had a little something to do with my change of attitude. I just wish I was younger when I figured it all out.

osnon profile image
osnon in reply to Isinatra

Thanks for this ❤️

You may also like...

Does anyone have any tips for improving their self worth (not 'ego') without it being overwhelming?

Does anyone have any tips for improving their self worth (not 'ego')? I feel very low alot lately. I

Trying to improve social anxiety

this site seems pretty helpful. I'm hoping to improve to a point where i'm more comfortable chatting

complaint line improv

Hello this is the complaint lne how may i help u? oh....ur calling about ms dolphin? oh and what is...

Advice to improve lackluster social life?

Hi I'm looking for some advice in improving my mental health by taking care of my social life. My...

Animals significantly improve mental health 🐣