Hi.

[clovergreen1207]

Just wanted to say thank you .. it's so freeing to be able to write whatever I feel on this forum, knowing that so many others go through similar pains and struggles. I can share and not feel intimidated or afraid.... Even if no one reads this... I'm starting to get really tired of trying to find the will to live, to see the beauty in life.. to be grateful. I tell myself these things everyday, my life is probably a blessing to some... but it's so exhausting having to pretend to be happy and grateful and positive.... every night I wish that I could dissappear into non existence and no one would remember me at all...the only reason I'm still around is because I can't bear the thought of hurting anyone... sigh ..

[Aryank]

Welcome to the group, yes this is the best place to express your feelings and share whatever you want, you will have the best, honest opinions and suggestions from the people in group as they all understand.

[clovergreen1207 in reply to Aryank]

Thank you🙏

[Freesoul66]

Dear clovergreen…. You seem to be a very gentle and thoughtful person. I am sorry you want to disappear every single night.. I want you to remember that those are your thoughts and your thoughts only… I do believe you would benefit from therapy and some meds. I went thru your posts and realized that you have all classic symptoms of a depression…. What got you to this point? It always makes me sad to read about the suffering ppl go thru. I have been there too. To a point that I could not get out of bed and thought the days are never ending and there was no point to anything I started going to therapy, was put on Zoloft, and slowly, very slowly started to get better. This site helped me tremendously and some lifestyle changes also. More exercise, no alcohol or caffeine… more connecting w friends and making new friends. Reaching out to women in similar situations…. It all helped to get me back. Don’t be embarrassed to go on meds. It will help you balance out your hormones. I see you live in Guyana… I don’t know how much of a stigma it is there to take an antidepressant? But to me you seem to be someone who would benefit tremendously from it… in order to “balance” you and get your thinking on the right track.. what kind of a life is i5 to pretend?! A talk with a professional will be helpful ☺️ Try it.

Because I know you have a lot to be grateful for but you don’t believe that right now.

All my love and best wishes to you 💕 you got this!

No need to disappear or hide… we are worth it. And believe me I was where u are now… you do not need to stay there. Stay stuck. Free yourself. You can. ❤️

Xoxo. J

[clovergreen1207 in reply to Freesoul66]

Thank you free soul66, this really means alot. Thank for for taking the time to read and respond to my post.. I actually don't live in Guyana but in another Caribbean country near there. Unfortunately, sound mental health is not something that's advocated in my country and it's really expensive to get treatment. At most where I work offers counseling services, but the counselor I was assigned to I felt uncomfortable around and so I stopped going. I'll get better hopefully. eventually.

[Freesoul66 in reply to clovergreen1207]

Wishing you the best… and of you need to unload, I’m here. I can listen to your concerns. Big hugs 🥰

[Jane_5060]

I have felt like this too. Going through a pretty tough time in my own way also. Know that feeling of just wanting to “disappear into non-existence”. I don’t want to hurt my family - parents, brother. Not sure anyone else would care, but I wouldn’t act out on anything. At least not right now, but I definitely understand about disappearing. It’s amazing how we all share that common depth of feeling, so down, so low. We feel it so keenly. Sometimes when I’m on here I’ll read a post like yours and I think yes!! That’s it! That’s how I feel precisely - someone gets it and then I don’t feel quite so alone or so different. So thank you for giving me that respite just by being you, sweet and kind! Clover green, we need you! You’ve got to stick around😊. We’re here to help you, and we need your help too! Sorry if I sound like a cornball, but I’m praying for you to feel better. Your post touched me.❤️‍🩹

[clovergreen1207 in reply to Jane_5060]

I'm really sorry u feel like this too jane_ 5060.. it's not a nice feeling.. not at all. But thank u very much.. for reaching out to me. This means alot.. thank you. 😭

[Jane_5060 in reply to clovergreen1207]

❤️❤️🙏🙏

[clovergreen1207]

Thank you chavivleon.. your right. I think I am sensitive.