I’m inlove that it’s making me so ill I can’t stop tho I can’t help holding on to a little hope I’m being given when I know in my gut he will never leave to be with me . He got me at my most vulnerable bombarded me made me fall in love promised me the world a dream life . I’m 6 months in he’s still with his family and breadcrumbing me I know I’m not stupid but my heart can not stop loving him an holding on for him . I ask him over an over does he want this an he says yes it’s just hard right now with family holidays friends weddings etc . I literally can not let go and he won’t either . I’m so depressed and anxious stayin in bed all day why he’s living his life still . He is my boss at work he’s but might be moving buildings soon so I wouldn’t see him but I’m stuck .. I can’t eat or sleep I’m losing weight I’m not my happy self .My head is a mess but my heart wants what he promised 3 months ago he’s distancing but still messages every day keepin me hoping . I can’t stop replying or wanting him . How do I love myself more an cope better till I finally hav enough or he finishes it . I’m broken praying for us to work out I want him so much and a life
Written by
Smileinthedowntime
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Good Afternoon Only you can make the decision that is right for you .
But is pain an indicator that this relationship is really the one .
You have to be rational with your head and not with your heart .
The man in the first place should not have bombarded you with false promises and now you are breaking whilst he is living his life as normal .
It is heartbreaking that you are suffering for a man who seems to have commitment issues with you .
It is a vicious cycle that you will remain as his side dish whilst his family are his main course and first priority.
We only have one life and why not live it for someone who truly cares for you .
I do not think this is life and you are clearly worthy of so much more .
It is the attachment which is causing the pain but you could be strong enough to break free and empower yourself to believe there is someone so much more worthy of you and your love .
In my experience, this is not love ad love is defined by mutual care and respect .
I will never know why women sell themselves short like this but ultimately it is your decision
Thankyou I know your right but I’m stuck right now I have no one to talk to . I could ruin him I have pictures messages … he let me tell my best friend but she doesn’t like him so I do t talk to her . He also told 2 people himself about us a few months back giving me hope he was serious because risking things by telling people . I’d literally start a life with him tomorrow and take all the hate from people . He keeps saying we will be together and even said to my friend he wants me . But I can’t keep feeling like this . I am the single one I should be in control but he is and I genuinely believe everything he says which I know is stupid
Thankyou so much for not judging me I didn’t mean for this to happen . I hope if it’s not meant to be then he takes the job I would never see him again then .I would find it easier I think . 99% of me knows but I’m holding on to that 1% hope and you know what say it was a test of us an we made it even with the odds against it. I wish I was stronger I’m so weak and all alone . Thankyou for ur facts and true words of help x
Thank you for acknowledging my opinion .I wonder if you should listen to Bad Romance by Lady Gaga as she was involved in relationships which were one sided which resulted in her writing a Bad Romance.
He’s messaged today that he’s heads messed up needs time an space to think . I’m taking that as over now I’m not contacting again . I’m heartbroken and angry why should he get away with treating me like he has . I just want to ruin him I know it’s just upset talking but why should he carry on happy family after destroying my heart
Good Afternoon Will Smith once said that there is no pain like pain of the opposite sex .
It is incredibly painful what this gentleman has done to you but as well all said including Midori that this man was always in control .
He controlled your heart strings and now the highs of the relationship has hit the floor .
It was really a bad romance and a once sided romance .
Was he a very skilled at manipulating you into submission .
I hope that you can accept that this has happened for the best and there will be someone out there who will ultimately cherish you and give you the unadulterated love you deserve .
I have never believed in revenge but I believe in Karma and we will reap what we sow .
As I have said , Rejection is Gods protection and there will be a rainbow for you one day .
May be this has been a lesson and now you have learnt and you will be all the more stronger and aware of other men like this .
Thankyou I’m so broken I’m ill from all this . He really did take me when I was so poorly from covid I was so vulnerable from my own relationship breakdown and he came in and took my heart give me dreams and hopes . I don’t no how I will ever trust again and he’s my boss I need him to leave to the new job . He has left me dangling on piece of string aswell not saying it over just needs time an space sort he’s head out feels bad on me the wife an family needs to clear his head …. Why not say it’s over . Last time he did this I begged an messaged etc this time I’ve not I’ve jus left it an not goin to message back . I really fell In love with him …. I don’t no what I’m goin to do I in bed now a broken mess not ate for days or slept 😢
As I said , this has been a lesson and in time you will learn .Try to believe that there is someone out there much better for you .
No doubt it will take you time to detach from the bond you had with this gentleman .
But in time a broken heart can heal and you will never hurt again like this again
They say the first cut is the deepest .
Crying can be cathartic but realise you have your whole life in front of you and I was once told the “Greatest Love is the Love your have for yourself .”
Be kind to yourself and don’t even blame yourself as you saw the best side of this man and clearly something is wrong with his marriage if he has to gain happiness from you .
I am sure this man is not so charming at home and I expect he is a skilled charmer with a magnetic presence and an irresistible pull.
Walk away , hold your head high and feel sorry for his wife as this man may be a player and imagine you were his wife whilst this man was with another woman.
Promise to yourself that no man will ever treat you like this and hopefully you can be an empowered and confident lady of which men will avidly pursue you .
It’s over but he’s tried to keep me on a string saying he just needs time an space so not said it’s over but I’m not contacting now I’m taking it as done … I’m so heartbroken sn angry I just want him to hurt like I am I want to ruin him why should he get away with breaking my heart an he carries on happy families
I don't believe love hurts. I know that disappointment does. There is alot you can learn from this experience. First, you can't depend on someone outside of yourself to make you happy. Second if you know a man has other obligations( esp a wife and family) don't allow him to seduce you, he only wants to use you for sex. Sex is not love. Third, use this time to get to know yourself so you don't allow yourself to get into destructive relationships. This is not a criticism of you. I have been there. I wish I had someone to give me guidance years ago.💗All the best!🤗
This man has used you and abused you emotionally, and he is now gaslighting you. He will never end this, and will keep you dangling on his string, like a fish on his line.
From experience I can tell you that he is a user, and who knows how many others he has done this to, you are just another notch on his bedpost.
He could have several ladies on his string; all hoping he will leave his home and family to be with you; but he has it all, a wife and family, all the trappings, and at least one girlfriend.
He doesn't love you, even if he says he does; it is narcissism central; it is the power over several women he wants, and often men like this actually detest women and treat them as objects.
The longer you allow this to continue, the more of your life you are wasting on someone who really doesn't deserve you. It's hard to hear I know, but you are truly wasting your time and life on this man.
If the guy is married with a family, you must move on . This is sound , solid advice. About 2 in 10 actually leave the family, for the other woman. If the kids are young, the odds are not in your favor. It’s in a mans d n a to not leave his kids , when they are not adults. This lets the chance for another man to live with his kids . And possibly hit or abuse them verbally or physically. Look it up on the internet. I guess it goes back to the early man era. The man is to remain in the house to provide and protect his kids. It’s ingrained in men’s early d n a . Maybe you can look at how most women actually force a divorce. To see if the theory is valid. I looked it up on the internet 20 years ago. When a buddy of mine was the married man in your situation. He was torn , and asked me for advice. He’s still with his wife and family 20 years later.
The guy us abandoning his family with adultery. Sorry but it’s not worth being with a dishonest, non loyal person like that. He’s playing you only for his pleasure clearly. I pray that you see this even if it’s very difficult. Don’t let it get worse, people do this all the time for their selfish ways.
He’s messaged he needs time an space so I’m takin that as over I’m not contacting him again now . I’m heartbroken but why should he get to play happy families an I’m left like this it’s not fair I want to ruin him the way I feel
I can feel how heartbroken you are…. But your chances to “have” him are slim…. I am sure he has a conscious just like you… and he is having a hard time deciding between his family and you. If he has young kids it will be a tough decision. And I understand that. I can feel your pain, you seem to be a very sensitive person, try and engage your brain in other activities… I know this is hard when your whole body and mind yearn for him. But you are the other woman… and that will be like that. Hard to give advice in situations like these but talking about it and letting your feelings out and be heard is important… it will help you deal. All the best, friend… and I’m here to chat if you feel like. Xo ❤️
I hav excepted it the more I read he did everything a narcissist does to women I was so vulnerable an he did everything to get me to love him an control me . Contact has stopped now I hav a doctors appointment Thursday for help as I’m half the woman I was mentally and lost lots of weight not eating sleeping I’m going to try concentrate on getting better now . Thankyou
I can’t add anything to the sensible advice from others, but I can bring up one thing that has been ignored so far. By taking revenge on this man, you are also taking revenge on his innocent wife and children. They may be having problems in their marriage, but leave it up to the wife how to handle it. Think hard and long of the consequences before you decide to take any action that might destroy something that can be salvaged. You will eventually heal, but will his children?❤️
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Spousal depression- lost and hurting 
Love you but not IN LOVE with you!!
FEELING VICTIMIZED AND HURTING AT THE MOMEMT
Confused and hurt by therapist.
