New to the community. I wanted to be in a place where maybe I would feel heard or understood. I'm a married 50 year old female who is going through some call a "mid life crisis". I was in marriage counseling for about 2 years up until a month ago where I decided to put out martial counseling to get individual counseling. Between a recent back injury, working from home through Covid, my depression and anxiety has been at an all time high. During that time, my mother who hasn't been on my life let me know she was divorcing my step father who was started drinking around the time all her children decided to set boundaries and had no contact. Upon speaking with my step dad he brought up her abusing him verbally and even physically which brought all my childhood abuse back up So much that I havng flashbacks and nightmare which triggered panic attacks which is egg in decided to get individual counseling to finally work through my child trauma.
During this time, I lost half of my accounting team which was devastating as they were a huge support team during the lost 6 months. Due to the toxic environment, I left Healthcare after 22 years. A lot of my stress, depression and anxiety has gotten better since leaving that job.
I suffer from low self esteem and self worth. I am told I'm good at hiding my feelings when I need to. I hate burdening others and often feel like I know how to tell people what they want to hear.
I'm hoping to connect with others so I don't feel so alone.
Written by
Inkedandlifts
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Welcome!!😊 We all will pitch in and have lots to say with different ideas and stories. We have music lover and artists, old and young. I am 47 and going through mid life crazies and come often to vent and offer support. Please write when you need someone or to tell us good and bad. I understand about the things you said and you are right you have to take care of you first. If you don't no one will. Hope your finding your footing. Gentle hugs 🤗🤗
I can definitely relate to not wanting to tell other people about the stuff going on because I'm worried about being a burden, or heck. Because talking about my issues is just scary.
But there were the one or two times I managed to open up, and when you find someone to listen, it definitely is way nice to have someone to talk to. So, you found the right place. You ain't gonna be a burden here, and share as much or as little as you want. Welcome to the forum!
I am extremely lucky to have 2-3 that I've been able share what I really have been going through. Only one of my children who is my go to knows the depths of despair I went to. I'm afraid to tell my daughters as I feel like they would be upset that I didn't tell them. Depression is so scary. I have an amazing support team of my husband, therapist and 2 close friends. I feel judged my other members in my close family that I don't trust to share. It's so weird because I've always been the one that people go to for advice so now that I'm struggling I feel completely lost.
Hi @inkedandlifts how are you doing? I'm so sorry you've have had to deal with so much. Please don't believe the lies that you are not enough. You are wonderful and enough as you are. We are here to listen and encourage each other as we share. Sending you much hugs ))) and a prayer.
Thank you. I've always been the support and be the rock but now that I need to take care of myself I am loat.
Hey I happen to be a 50 year old woman myself, and I'm really going through mid life crisis time too, even though my situation is different than yours. My 40s were really rough, I wasn't married but I was in a committed relationship for a long time since I was 22 and when I turned 40 I was fed up and realized sadly that even though my significant other had some great qualities, financially it just wasn't going to work out. Reality bites. Now I still talk to him as a friend because he has always been there for me and that means a lot, but I'm pulling away from him and I feel like I wasted a lot of time on him in some respects. We don't have children, which I suppose is a good thing but I also feel some sadness about that. A big thing that's affecting my mood because I already have issues with depression is related to changing hormones and perimenopause. I can get irritable and angry so easily in a way I never used to be when I was younger, my body is changing and it feels like such a weird time. I'm not young anymore but I'm not a senior citizen either and I feel an urgent sense of wanting to make something out of my life and do something meaningful before I get too old or develop Alzheimer's or something. I don't know if you can relate to what I'm saying at all but I think this is something that a lot of men just don't really understand in some ways and I don't think some younger women totally get it either. I really think I need to visit a gynecologist and maybe possibly look into stuff like hormone replacement therapy and read up some more about menopause because especially the mood swings associated with it and night sweats and all that are very real and it's very uncomfortable to deal with. It does affect your personality. I just thought because your the same age as me that I'd mention all that because that can be contributing to some of the situations your going through along with all the stress you mentioned.
These are tough times for all of us. I was in a relationship with an alcoholic and sought the support of Alanon. I don't go anymore, but the lessons learned have been helpful for my challenges. And, when you are going through a rough time as you are, I find it's helpful to reach out to a therapist and just do a few good things for yourself each day if you can.
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