Better to be gone

[olv45638]

Just revealed something personal and ugly in my past to my sibling who I am staying with and felt very immediately alienated. This person was someone and is someone that I regarded as a confidante. I probably am self sabotaging. Can't seem to stop with the self hatred and thoughts of being gone forever. I know she would at least probably be relieved to some extent. Just venting- hope everyone is in a safer space than I'm in right now

[13ga]

olv;

there's almost nothing that you could have done - that hasn't been done by others many times over. unless you murdered someone... you didn't do that did you? but even if you did - LOTS of people have done that too...

my point is - however ugly the thing you did was - your sibling has almost certainly done things just as bad or ugly. they would likely understand all too well - better than you might think...

please don't let negative thinking put frivolous and/or false ideas in your head! you will drive yourself nuts! when those thoughts float into your head - just gently push them aside, and say to yourself - "i'm not going to let negative thoughts invade - go away" - and purposefully think of something pleasant instead - go to your happy place in your mind.

do this as often as those thoughts pop in... sooner or later they will appear less and less - as soon as they figure out that you're not going to "feed" them any longer.

at least - that's what i do. and it works for me. takes practice to get good... but does work.