I'm new here and I'm feeling lost and... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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I'm new here and I'm feeling lost and like a burden on everyone and I don't really know what to do

Russg profile image
7 Replies

So I am 24 and I've never had a therapist or anyone like that. We tried after my mother passed away when I was 12 but I found it and still find it really hard to trust strangers. I have always been sad and anxious but for the most part I have been able to handle it decently well. Lately, over the past month or so I have been feeling extremely depressed and anxious about everything. It's beginning to take a toll on my relationship with my girlfriend and I'm very worried I will end up pushing her away and I'll lose her because of that. We are in a long distance relationship so I can't really go see her which I think would help a lot if I could. My depression and anxiety gets really bad at night but it's also been pretty prevalent during the day. I feel as though I can't do anything right and like I am just a burden on everyone. I also feel like I am never doing enough for people. I live alone and don't have many friends so I end up getting incredibly lonely. I am lost on what to do because I want to be happy but it is very hard for me to trust people.

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Russg
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7 Replies
Mone147 profile image
Mone147

Welcome. Here you will always find people who listen and understand you. I'm happy you chose to talk to us! I often think I am a burden as well but most of the time people around us actually don't see it that way. I guess it's anxiety and depression talking. I've been seeing a therapist for a couple of months now and I'm also taking meds and it has helped a lot so I can only recommend that to you. Talking in general is very helpful so whenever you feel down don't hesitate to post here or text any of us, we're here for you! I've always found support on this website and I'm so thankful for it. Stay strong - you're not alone!

Tellmeaboutit profile image
Tellmeaboutit

it’s hared to find a therapist that is a good fit, and that you trust.

but you must put in the effort to find someone and establish a good report. Be paieint with the process and dont expect quick results. it often takes two or three sessions for you to get comfortable with them, and for them to get enough insight into your situation to help much

if you dont feel comfortable, or like it will be helpful after 3 or 4 sessions then stop and find someone else. they wont take it personally. If you always choose a therapist of one sex try the other. if you dont have any luck with providers of a certain age try someone younger or older. but make it a top priority in your life right now to find a therapist that you click with. They can help you decide if you might benefit from medication.

as for the long distance gf and living alone during a pandemic, what can i say ya that totally sucks. but i think we really are getting to the end, so things should be getting closer to normal soon.

and you can still interact with your friends. just call one of them up or e-mail or text or whatever. a couple of my buds and i have had a zoom call every other month or so during the lockdowns. you dont need a plan they just start joking and gossiping and telling dumb storries pretty soon it’s almost like you were hanging at the pub. better than nothing anyway.

with your long distance gf, unless it is temporary, unless you have a plan, or are at least working on a plan to be together, in the same city, then you should probably break it off, hard as that may seem. especially if you’re unable to even visit occasionally, then it simply has no future. the longer you both wait to end it the more time is wasted. time you could use to recover, re-evaluate, re-invent, re-invigorate, and move on. looking forward to something like the possibility of meeting someone new can do wonders for depression, even if it seems a long way off.

Sunflowermango profile image
Sunflowermango

Hiii welcome to the group, I hope that joining will benefit you in some way. So i deal with mental illness and sometimes its good to take time for yourself. But communication is key for any relationship. But as long as you explain and understand this is going to be a process you will prevail.

DodgeDhanda profile image
DodgeDhanda

Trusting people is very hard especially when there are possible abandonment issues. I lost my mom when I was 4 , dad when I was 17, I have my siblings , got married in my early 20s & divorced in my late 30s, had a few messy relationships but now I'm single & happier as I've realised my distrust of others is down to the fact I feel sometimes that I've been abandoned by those closest , when in fact those that died didn't choose to leave. As for my choices , I think it was a case of me not healing more within. Also I've learned that I can only change me not others & so I stopped. I'm totally honest with my siblings & so they know when I'm suffering an episode. I've got my family WhatsApp group where we communicate daily. I'm still single but have spent a lot of time working on me & learning to love me too.

You will never be a burden on those that love you even if your own mind lies to you .

I hope you find a solution that helps you to realise that we all need to love us a bit more some days over others & there is nothing wrong in that. Also be completely honest with your girlfriend.

Gentlespirit profile image
Gentlespirit

It's an ongoing challenge and to not lose ground add some things or try something new or revisit a hobby or interest. Perhaps drawing or coloring. Have you triedlistening to Therapy in a Nutshell or psych2go or Medcircle.? There are warm helplines available too as well as support groups. Look up meetings in your area. It's confidential too .

Gentlespirit profile image
Gentlespirit

It is the anxiety and depression thats making you doubt. Be kind to yourself. Call a family member to receive reassurance or just to become grounded again by feeling their love. Your family loves you.

Gentlespirit profile image
Gentlespirit

20 Reasons your not a Burden by The Real Depression Project. It will help.

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