Being told I play victim ( just venting) - Anxiety and Depre...

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Being told I play victim ( just venting)

RissaP profile image
12 Replies

Having a really bad day, so tired from dealing with a newborn. Being a stay at home mom is equivalent to doing nothing all day and night according to the one person I want help from .

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RissaP profile image
RissaP
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12 Replies
hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54

Well you know the answer! Go out for the day and leave them to cope and see how they change their tune :)

RissaP profile image
RissaP in reply to hypercat54

They dont care if I leave someone else can take care of our son im not needed

Gentlespirit profile image
Gentlespirit in reply to RissaP

That's so sad and heartbreaking to hear. I feel devastated for and your son. He needs both parents. Where are you now? And where is he now? My heart goes out to you and everyone. Please be patient with yourself and others. We are all human and the expectations that we have of ourselves and others are different. Exhaustion depression anxiety theres only so much a person can take. Maybe everyone was stressed or were not listening to you??

socratesanne profile image
socratesanne in reply to RissaP

You are the main person that child needs now, you and the father. Your role helps mold their spirit and someone needs to help you with your spirit, preferably the father or other parent figure, but your mere smell and aura is in eh babies radar for now. You will see, when they learn to crawl they will come to find you as your presence is inspiring. Add people to you life who inspire you in return. I missed that. I so wish it was readily available to me.

Huckster profile image
Huckster

Is there someone else who could help? Do you have any other support?

RissaP profile image
RissaP in reply to Huckster

I have no one

Nettekin profile image
Nettekin

Hi RissaP, raising a child is the most rewarding and hard job anyone can do. No other 'job' or vocation comes anywhere near being as important, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. When you are tired everything is so much more difficult. I always remember someone telling me when I had my first baby to sleep when they did. It is such good advice. Otherwise us mothers tend to rush round doing things when the baby is asleep and then getting more tired. Thinking of you, you are doing great. X

penguins123 profile image
penguins123

What helped me when I had a newborn was a friend saying to me that I was the luckiest person in the world to have a new life to watch and observe and interact with. I changed my whole attitude and started to appreciate every minute with him. I would enjoy every smile, every new stage, every touch and feel, every sound he made, etc. It is a miracle that you have a new life to care for and love, who will love you one day soon. Enjoy it and relish in the little milestones....and make a large pot of coffee so you are able to stay awake!

caroash profile image
caroash

Whoever told you that caring for a newborn is the equivalent of doing nothing is totally wrong,Caring for a. baby is the most physical and emotionally demanding time for anyone, particularly a mother.Not only have you gone through pregnancy,which is challenging in itself,then to give birth, there's a reason they call it labour. Baby's demand all your time, energy and love. Your lucky if you get a minute to yourself.I agree with the person that said to sleep when your baby sleeps.I used to have a lovely soak in a lavender bath early evening to.unwind.You are important too ,get out for fresh air , good for you and baby.Try and connect with other mums so you don't feel so alone.Help is out there for you.I know Covidhas affected meeting in groups,but you could join an online support group for new mums.and once things are better you will behave made some new friends to meet up with. Things will get better.You are quite vulnerable right now, hormones all over the place Self care so important.Take care if yourself you are very special,lots of Love xx

Gentlespirit profile image
Gentlespirit

I'm sorry that your not receiving help from the person that you had hoped to help isn't acknowledging your part because taking care of a baby is important and the first week to 10 days you and the newborn need as much rest as possible. Is there someone else who could provide you with some help? Or a service like ordering your groceries? Or someone who could babysit for a short time so you could not be so sleep deprived? You could do a few things and there are nannycams available or something with the computer can be done too so you could see your infant being cared for while your out.

Gentlespirit profile image
Gentlespirit

I loved being a stay at home mom even though sometimes at night I would say thank goodness both of our kids are asllep. But the next day I would wake up and think about where we would go today. A lot of times the park and the museum or zoo or the library or the movies. The pool was nice too. I miss them. I'm a mother .

socratesanne profile image
socratesanne

Your job is to care for the baby and you. A baby needs love and attention and you have to assure you give some to yourself as well as the baby. The rest of family has a job to shower you both with love, HELP and attention. It should run smoothly once they all know their roles. After all that baby will raise you all some day, so they need to get with the long term program. You are great mother and your time will come as your body gets back to normal and the fun times of gymnastics soccer games or wonderful career, special outings for you all and maybe someday that future career you wanted for just yourself. This is the best time of you and often the quietest I found, shockingly. Baby keeps things where they need to be and they do not even know their own power.

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