as if i don't already have enough to deal with, with my $$-grubbing, narcissist brother.
i have the world's single biggest hypocrite for a step-mom.
and around this time last year - she took me out for dinner to celebrate my birthday. SHE brought up a topic - and ASKED for my thoughts - i, very politely started to give my answer - which she immediately decided she didn't like - and at the TOP OF HER VOICE - berated me in the restaurant. i went fissionable angry in less than a pico-second; and a microsecond later - felt like i was a teenager again.
i've not spoken to her since; nor texted, nor emailed - it's now been over 1 year. and i was JUST - beginning to think - maybe i should be the bigger man and resume talking to her...
and not even a week after i had that thought - she sends me an email saying "hey i just got my 2nd vax shot - how bout i take you out for dinner for your birthday". to which i reply - i'm not comfortable going out until i get MY vax shots - how bout doing dinner after that?
and - she reply's.... and i quote "well - i've got plenty of other friends i can have dinner with. maybe we can celebrate next year's birthday."
so - basically - i'm sooo fracking worthless of a human being - that i don't deserve a birthday celebration dinner - unless it's 100% on her terms! and she got her shots - so now it's time to party - and she doesn't give a spit about endangering my life - or my newly widow mom - as long as she get's to party!!!!!
frack her!!! and now i'm done with her forever!!!! except i'm too dammed much of a "mench" to actually do that - so i'm just gonna stew on this... there's NO POINT in having a conversation with her - what's the point of talking to a selfish unmovable wall??
i need to dump this anger; and simply NOT be angry in the first place... but i have no idea how to accomplish this.
i'm SOOOO sick and tired - of being angry - and being sick and tired!!!!!