Hello! My real name is Steph and I work as an addiction counselor. I have been in recovery myself for 9 years. Getting clean allowed me to do the hard work of modifying unhealthy thought processes and behavioral patterns.
I joined this group today because...well to be honest, I became desperate. And scared. And I felt entirely alone in my suffering. My work is amazing, but also deeply emotionally taxing. I recently became dysregulated at work, which triggered my worst Bipolar symptoms. Simply put., the day did not go well and I fell apart. This was my wake up call that I cannot engage in my life in a healthy manner all by myself. So, will you be my friend? I'm looking forward to sharing evidenced based advice and lots of support. It is all love. Despite the pain in our hearts, our heads, and the world around us, once we begin to heal, it's all love.
Please feel free to respond! Favorite coping skills, words of wisdom, it's all welcome! xoxo
Hi! I definitely am not as experienced as you are BUT you’ve got a friend in me and I’d love to help in any way that I can! The coping skill that I’ve always seemed to fall back on is taking the time to self reflect and no, not just to beat yourself up haha. It’s more so just seeing what you can learn from that situation. Everyone makes mistakes but to me, that’s the easiest way to learn. You understand the consequences because you’ve had to deal with them face on. You understand how you felt and you don’t want to feel like that again. That’s what works for me. I will always go grab some Starbucks and go to my favorite childhood park that I have fond memories of and sit in my car (because it’s cold right now haha) and stay for as long as I need to. It’s helped immensely. That isn’t to say that there’s times it doesn’t always help and I just need to talk to someone who understands but that’s why we’re all here isn’t it? 😊
Absolutely it is! And I think you make a very intuitive point; even our best coping skill doesn't work for every situation. I agree that channeling the unpleasantness of consequences into making healthy changes is a great skill. It helps me a lot to hear it from someone else because it is really hard to take my own advice!!! Thank you friend!
Hi Steph! I also have bipolar. I’m raising my kids and loving it but struggling at times , a lot lately, and it’s always good to meet another person who is trying to understand how to be their best. Sorry to hear about your day but at least now you’ve learned more about you and what you need to feel good again. I’m here for you. Yes, you are right; it’s all love ❤️ my friend
Yes you are spot on, that was a big lesson! I don't have any children and I really admire when someone has bipolar and is able to bea loving parent because my biggest 'hell on earth' moments have always been during an episode. I'm a very curious person, do you mind if I ask how you get through the bad spells and take care if kiddos at the same time? I imagine its incredibly challenging 💜
They make me strong because of our love ...they are kind strong fun amazing creative people and I love being their mom so all that helps. I did go into a manic psychosis before and I went into a crisis center and at that time required help from my husband and luckily he was able to be there for them when I had to focus on getting well. Right now I’m pretty stable but I still could use some breaks and I am not shy to ask for help with tasks around the house and such.
Another thing that keeps me going is writing , learning/reading , nature, doing things I love!
Oh your coping skills are so lovely! I'm happy to hear about anyone advocating for themselves, especially women ad even more-so, mothers. What a terrific example to set for the kids.🧚
Thank you for asking, I am feeling pure inspiration. I've never seen any website that wasn't polluted with hatred and people saying horrible things to eachother. This feels like a true community. Being able to reach out to so many people is a big deal for me right now because I have been feeling quite alone. And now I feel much less like that. 😁😁😁
Hello Ducky.. Strange that ur name already greets itself but welcome again. We are happy to have an addition to this site and hope we all become friends. Today I was speaking to someone here at HU privately and he gave me valuable information. He was saying that the word victim is not loved by victims bcz it makes them feel like the perpetrator still has power over them. I had been using that word for anything that crippled me in any way. He said victim's prefere the word "Survivor" bcz it makes them feel empowered as in they have control over their lives again. I was going to say that I am a victim of depression but I do not take any meds. I simple try to think positive and that has become my strongest weapon. I therefore see myself as a survivor of depression. It a hellish disease which is like a demon bcz no one sees it which makes it hard to talk about in the world thus coming to this site to find those who are exectly like me. I was just introducing myself bcz u have done it in your post and looking forward to having u in this wonderful, respectful community.
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Dude, I love your perspective! And I love that you referred to your positivity as a weapon, that implies so much strength. You're a warrior! Amazing to meet you, thank you for that great input ⚔️
Hello, I agree, I've met nothing but dozens of genuinely kind people in just a few hours. It's incredible! I finally feel like I fit in somewhere. By the way, I like your profile photo!
You could see if there is a support group in your area. I was going to one for Bipolar and depression and that helped me. With Covid now they do Zoom meetings.
I can see how being a counselor can be taxing on you so you need to make sure that you take care of yourself too. My ex was a social worker and she experienced burnout.
I agree absolutely. I'm not sure how to go about it... My hours are 5am-1:30pm. When I get home my energy is so low that even if I can sort of do something small, I will avoid it. I do allow myself to rest a lot but I know thats not enough.
Hello Ducky, we are glad you are here. It sounds like you are very aware of your situation and it take a tremendous amount of courage to do what you are doing so kudos to you!
Welcome, Steph! I’m fairly new also, I think about two weeks now, and I’ve found the group to be incredibly helpful and caring. 💕 The best thing about it is being able to talk with and share what you’re thinking with people who “get” you. 🙏 As far as coping skills ... My usual stuff has become less potent with the pandemic. Retreat and rest were my two big ones, but given that’s all I’ve been doing pretty much for the past seven months between isolation and a huge cut in my billable hours, that doesn’t feel nearly as therapeutic. This group, any time I can spend in nature, my writing (working on two novels), and anything I can do to reconnect spiritually are my biggest coping mechanisms now. Snuggling with the fur kids can be helpful, too. 🥰 I hope you’ll find the same comfort all of us have here. We’re here for you! 😊
Oh the snuggles. They are heaven. My dog is crazy soft! It sounds like you have been working on things for some time, I like your suggestions. For me spirituality is Buddhism. What's your spirit of choice? 😉
Fur babies are the best! 🥰 The spiritual guidance I enjoy most comes from podcasts I listen to when I walk my pup: Oprah’s “Super Soul Sunday,” “On Being” with Krista Tippet, and Joel Osteen’s podcast. I know a lot of people have a negative impression of him because he’s a TV preacher, but he is always positive, always uplifting, and he’s helped me out of some really dark periods in my life. 🙏
Oh dang, you got that personal spirituality, very cool! I've never heard of the TV preacher, but whatever is gonna get you through the day without ruining you life, right!Oprah once said something that that changed my life, like literally still to this day I subscribe to this philosophy: Forgiveness isn't about saying 'its ok', it's about no longer wishing things had been different. And I read right after I broke up with an abuser who I was unwilling to forgive! l just love the making forgiveness for us, not the other person. So powerful. Have you a favorite quote?
I just heard that one from Oprah again yesterday. It is a powerful one. I also like how Miguel Ruiz puts it, that forgiveness is about letting it go. You don’t forget what was done, you just allow it to leave your consciousness. That feels more doable. We are all so filled with negative self-talk, that I try to keep this one in mind, too: “Whatever follows the ‘I am’ will eventually find you.” (Joel Osteen) So speak words of positivity over your life.
I sadly cannot help with coping skills . Happy to be your friend. Amazing to hear your a counselor and have been through it so can really understand your clients
The silly thing is I know a million coping skills but I spend my days teaching them to my patients and don't know how to take my own advice lol! Thanks for being a friend!
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a million little things 
Little things to make it better
It's the little things that help with deep depression
Sometimes things are just the way they are.
