FIRST DEPRESSIVE EPISODE OF THE YEAR - Anxiety and Depre...

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FIRST DEPRESSIVE EPISODE OF THE YEAR

WednesdayAddams profile image
WednesdayAddams

Currently going through it. It started on Tuesday night. It’s comparable to a switch. One moment everything is normal and then suddenly the switch in my head flips and life becomes instantly unbearable. Can anyone else relate? It gets especially bad at night where the depressive voice is compounded by the anxiety voice who then triggers the ED voice. It’s all very overwhelming. I had a good few months without slipping into depression prior to this episode. I’m feeling a bit better today. I managed to take a shower which I hadn’t since Tuesday because of how confronting it all is. I also asserted my boundaries and held someone accountable for treating me in a way I didn’t find acceptable, despite having ended in a very one sided argument. I’m glad I asserted myself and stood my ground. I’m tired of having to consider everyone else’s feelings except my own. I just refuse to take anyone’s crap now and I’m unafraid go speak up. Did anyone else avoid asserting themselves because they were worried about upsetting the person who treated you in a less than acceptable way? To hell with that! I’m here, I’m taking up space and I feel empowered. I had therapy on Thursday and I have a session with my shrink on Tuesday to adjust my anxiety meds temporarily to get me through this rough patch. I just need to keep reminding myself that, it’s just that - a rough patch. It’s temporary. I survived it numerous times before and will conquer once again. Thanks for listening/reading.

21 Replies

I have been afraid of standing up for myself because I was to afraid to hurt someone’s feelings . I am so glad that your being strong 😄❤️

Thank you for your kindness 💖 Take up space! It’s so empowering do so in spite of how difficult and uncomfortable it can be. Why do their feelings matter more than that of the most important person in your life, you? 😊 Stay strong, hold your ground, you’re here, you matter, let it be known! 💪🏼 🥰

Thank you 🙏 ❤️❤️ that is true 😄

Talk about standing for one's ground, this is one thing we are yet to learn on earth. I am not good with confrontation, so when a person hurts me I keep quite and the more they do that I become more reserved. It is still a hard thin to do but I admire you for doing it. In fact I admire anyone who is able to stand their ground. How I hate depression especially when it just kick in without knocking but we shall cope. Thanks for venting, that what we are here for.

I can completely relate because that’s exactly what I used to do. I would just take what they said, ruminate and internalize it. I’ve only just begun to stand up for myself and hold people accountable for their actions towards me. It’s incredibly difficult at times, considering how we normally react in those kind of situations but it’s so much more worthwhile and it’s so necessary. We need to stop allowing people to treat us any way they deem fit. The way they react to asserting our boundaries is not a reflection of us. We’re not responsible for their reactions to our boundaries.

I jive with that. From now on it is my last say concerning my life

That’s it! 💖

standing up for yourself is so hard and gives me anxiety, but once I do it I feel so relieved and good about myself! im sorry to hear that you feel like youre having another episode. it’s good that youre in the early stages though so make sure to practice some healthy habits when you can

Yes, that’s exactly it! We need to fight for ourselves! Be loyal and kind to ourselves by not letting others mistreat us and disrespect our boundaries! Thanks for being supportive. 🥰

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

My experience leads me to believe that standing up for one's self is powerful and it does not have to be done in a confrontational manner, which is how I used to think of it. Simple, consistent, on message and open to accepting that might not be welcomed by the receiving party, but delivering that message with no malice in my heart seems to help. I do hope this makes sense, it is a small shift in my mind but it brings tremendous peace and comfort.

Be well. Peace.

Great suggestion- I need to practice this!

Wow, thanks! I get it and will definitely work on implementing it in future. This particular person refused to hear me out, is exceptionally pigheaded and was quick to make false accusations about my character. I even tried calling to ask what the issue was and she just yelled at me over the phone, refused to let me speak and cut the call. I have to face her when she comes over tomorrow (my in-law). I hate tension but I’m also ready to deliver a verbal beating. I need to take a step back and speak from a place of logic and calm instead of a place of anger and high emotion.

Hey Wednesday -

Thanks for the response and seriously, best wishes for the meeting.

Conflict is so toxic and pigheadedness is usually a choice that cannot be influenced by logic, and even less so by anger and attack, so it's great if you are rethinking the prepared verbal beating, that takes way too much energy at all stages, even if never realized.

There is really a freedom that comes with letting go and being fine with allowing others to think what they want and honestly, that freedom has brought me so much more peace and power than any conflict.

Peace and, if it eludes you one day, it is worth pursuing the next, we are only human.

Thank you, really needed to hear (read) these words today. Ready to release those ill feelings and the habit of always having to fight to prove myself to someone who is unwilling to listen. I don’t need to explain myself, let alone my boundaries to anyone. Nor do I have to mull over what they think of me when my thoughts about myself are the only relevant thoughts relevant to my life. Again, thanks for the advice and and support. I really appreciate it. 🙏🏼 Hope you’re having a wonderful weekend. 😊

Thank you for the thoughtful reply, it helped further lift an aleady good weekend :) .

Peace!

Good for you- stay strong! Depression can be so disabling, especially when combined with anxiety, but it sounds like you did/are doing all the right things and are on the upswing. I’ve recently been struggling too, and also on Wednesday just finally stood up for myself in a situation with a landlord after 4 years of bad treatment. It made me super anxious to send it, because I don’t like confrontation especially with him as he’s a bully. And then my anxiety got even worse because he sent me a pretty mean email in reply, saying bad (untrue) things about my character. He’s obviously just trying to hurt me. It was a very strange email (without getting into detail), so tonite I am just trying to keep calm and think of good things, and not let my mind get carried away with scary thoughts. Part of me regrets standing up to him, but kind of proud that I did. It’s great you have a therapist. It’s hard to afford one.

You should be proud! I am proud of you for asserting yourself! 🤗 Well done. He’s only reacting that way because he’s being held accountable for his terrible behaviour towards you and you’re refusing to take it anymore. Remember that you’re not responsible for his reaction to your boundaries. You deserve to be respected and treated like a human being. With regard to your anxiety, I was going to the same thing last night. I kept ruminating over the situation and like you, began to regret it but then I realized, well now they know not to mess with me and I won’t take their crap. So I feel good about it but bc this person is part of the family, I hate that I have to see them and have that tension lingering.

Thank you! 💗 I appreciate your support! I think you are correct that he is doing this because he’s not used to me standing up to him. And I am realizing my my anxiety over this is because it feels unfamiliar to stand up to him and also because I do fear some kind of retribution from him. But I have to just stay grounded not keep overthinking it! I’m sorry this is someone in your family circle, but I do think that you already taken that brave step of showing them that you have taken your power back! I think healthy boundary setting is probably just a skill that needs practice.

Of course 🤗 Hang in there! You’re more than capable! Keep practicing, I am too. 💖

We are with you, sailing in the same boat. DON’T WORRY.

Thanks, I appreciate your words.m of support. 😊

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