Im new here...

I really don't know how to do this but I want to know how I can tell my parents how they have been making me feel by the things they say and do... because they don't take anything seriously. in fact the last time I tried to be serious the just called me ungrateful and continued to compare what I feel to other things that were worse in their opinion. they don't take my mental health seriously or anything and I don't understand. and they took my phone so I can't call anything or anything anymore which has made the feeling of suffocation even worse.

[Vivian242003]

Hey, I'm the same I can't tell y parents anything cause they don't take it seriously. It has gotten better finally convinced them to let me go to therapy. My dad thinks its bulls*** but my mom tries I guess, even though I tried telling her I might have an eating disorder she laughed and generalized it to everyone... thanks mom. But I think what helps is you taking to them separately and you really sit them down and explain everything, you tell them mom or dad please listen this is serious. And if that doesn't help, talk to your counselor and friends or even teachers. Your parents will learn one day, but for now just know you're truly not alone, like this website for instance someone will always reply.

[Hidden in reply to Vivian242003]

It really sucks... it hurts that they think that me having bad mental health issues caused my the verbal abuse they constantly put me through is just me acting up and being ungrateful... they don't understand that what they do and say sticks to us forever. And I'm sorry about your dad I wish I could justify why dads are like that but I don't know because my dad is the same way. I've told him before that he makes me feel like he doesn't care about me or regrets me and he didn't make it better at all he just ignored me and continued to act the same wich really sucks.

[Vivian242003 in reply to Hidden]

I think the reason why most dads don't respond well to their children emotions, is because of their own childhood experiences. Because they are males they get treated in a way where they think their emotions aren't valid, or they have to be 'manly' which is absolute bs. Everyone emotions are valid yours too, don't feel like they're not. Im sorry too that your dad did that, its not validated at all. To be honest I still don't know what to do about my family but, just as time goes on they will realize oh no we should have listened to her more. But yeah your emotions are valid, don't let anyone make you think otherwise

[Hidden in reply to Vivian242003]

so are yours , i was just about to reply to one of your post about feeling lonely... and I can relate so bad.. its so bad to the point where I genuenly feel like a stranger in my house and it hurts that you feel that lonely as well because its so painful to know that others feel the same weight on their chest like that. but my anxiety has gotten so bad that I have been waking up in the middle of the night because if bad dreams and I wake up sweaty and my heart is literally pounding.. and I'm so scared because I don't know whats happening or how I can make it go away what do you think is going on?

[Vivian242003 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah same, I live in a two bedroom and my sister is here, and I don't get any privacy and no one understands, they think Im being dramatic. But about your dreams, I've heard and read that anxiety and mental health can affect almost everything in your physical health, most of all sleep. Im not a professional but I think your sub-conscious is full of suppressed thought, trying to get out. One thing we need to learn early on in our lives is how to access our emotions and not push them deep down. I think tats why your waking up suddenly in the night, because of your suppressed thought and emotions. And a good way to get them out is venting, like on here or friends and again maybe even teachers, oh and crying helps. Just not too much of it.

[Hidden in reply to Vivian242003]

The thing is my parents took my phone which was how I communicated to my friends about how felt and these dreams started recently and that's probably why. they think taking my phone teaches me a lesson or something but I could care less about my phone like get me a landline and it would be the same lol its just I need to talk to someone because Ive honestly been scared to sleep because of whats been happening and them they are always yelling at me and I hate going near them and talking to them it actually makes my anxiety worse when I hear their voiced or when they get up at night and I hear their footsteps or when their dor opens idk it just makes my heart race and I start breathing fast and I flinch when I hear loud noises ever since I was little they always yelled their lungs out at me and they always made an excuse of why. like when I was little it was because I "don't know how to listen" and a couple years ago it was because " I talk back to much" and now its " my grades arent good enough" and each time id ask why they yell at me for everything tey said if you got your grades up we would sop and they have been better for 2 years now iv been getting honor roll and they still have a problem just now its because I stay in my room all day and its only because I feel like if im out of their sight them they would be less mad and its hard because I am adopted so it hurts that one set of parents didn't want me and they make me feel like they don't want me either and that im a burden or something like my dad sighs whenever he sees me and hears me speak and it hurts because he's called me pathetic and stupid more then once and my mom defended him for it saying that "its just what he does when he's mad he just says stuff'' which doesn't even need an explanation about how it made me feel ....

[Vivian242003 in reply to Hidden]

Im so sorry its really unfair, no one deserves to be treated that way. Adults and parents don't realize how damaging words can be to children and that it sticks with them. I really don't know what your parents are thinking or why they are acting the way they are, but it does not excuse their behavior at all. By the way its amazing your grades are doing so well, if they're not proud then I definitely am. My parents also push me on grades they always ask for better and its so so annoying but just remember that as long as your trying your best and your happy with it that's what counts. But I understand its nice to have your parents appreciate the hard work you do. Also for your sleep perhaps play sleeping stories before you sleep and maybe even try reading a book now that you don't have your phone, or join a group on here that could give you advice about sleep, because I'm the opposite I deprive myself of sleep sometimes. And again I'm sorry you feel like a burden, because you're not. I know I'm a stranger but you're not a burden, everyone is special and amazing in their own way, even I appreciate you, case your making me feel not lonely right now.

[venusofthenorth]

Parents have a hard time empathizing and contextualizing cognitive health disorders largely because when and if they ever brought it up when they were your age they were met the way they're treating you now. Most parents rarely ever mean anything malicious or abusive about it, conquering our inner demons is a common step to personal growth in which we let go of our parents and venture out on our own. My parents didn't respect or speak to me properly before I moved out and explicitly proved my age to them which is something everybody gets to do eventually.

[Hidden in reply to venusofthenorth]

i keep defending them for how they treat me and honestly I'm tired of it because this had been going on maybe at least 3 or 4 years after they adopted me when I was 4 they have always yelled and complained and said awful things and I constantly said maybe its just how they were raised but I dint get whey they have to continue a bad tradition you know?

[twentythreeme]

My family never took my mental health seriously either, and they still don't really. My mom has been much more conscious of it since I was first hospitalized in college. But even then I feel like she is worried to ask or bring it up for fear of causing more problems. She didn't handle it well when I was hospitalized and she's been very careful with how she speaks and what she says around me. It's so hard to not have the support of the people closest to you, whether you define closest as emotional or proximity. It took from the age of 7 to the age of 18 for my family to realize the severity of what I was going through. I was called lazy, antisocial, told I must hate my family because I never wanted to be around them and was always hiding in my room. They teased me for sleeping so much and for being so quiet. They had every sign in front of them and they still couldn't see. Sometimes it's willful ignorance, sometimes it's just lack of understanding. I hope your parents can find that understanding. It's not easy. I had many, many conversations with mine before I was hospitalized. It wasn't until I almost died that they had to confront reality. I pray you don't have to wait that long. I'll be thinking of you.

[Hidden in reply to twentythreeme]

Thank you. Do you have any words I could say to them when they yell and get mad about me trying to talk to them about how they treat me? because usually I just start crying and cant talk or I just stay silent because I don't know what to say.

[hypercat54]

Are you of an age where you can leave home yet? Putting some distance between you will help.

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

no I am not sadly

[hypercat54 in reply to Hidden]

Are you at least 16? If so it will only be 2 years until you are legal to leave home and make your own life. That sounds like a long time but it will pass, so look forward to the future.

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

yea i am

[Hidden]

Is there someone who u can speak wt maybe an aunt, uncle or their friend who can speak 2 em 4 u? That myt help in seeing ur case diff. Parents tend 2 igno children bcz they think they r protecting u even tho they miss the mark sometimes.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

parents took my phone so i dont have anything to reach out on I'm on my computer

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Huh, that tough. Is it legal to do that tho? If u r ova 18 that ain't allowed. There are legal proceedings u can take I blv.