I will take any strength I have to focus it all on others. Really listen. Really be right there with them.
I already decided what I’ll do with myself so besides that shit and no matter how that stuff all goes, I will put effort into helping others however I find I can . I hope to be able to see what someone may in need of. I prayed to God about wanting to do His Will.
So now at least maybe then my depression won’t be a completely useless time.
Awesome, Starrlight!!
What a beautiful post and a beautiful plan!!! You are a beautiful person, Starr! Please don’t ever forget that! May God Bless You, Always, my Friend!!! 🌿🌷🌿💛🌿🌷🌿
You’re beautiful 😍
Starlight, there is another word for depression called depletion. It accurately describes the state of emotional exhaustion that we can enter which upsets the chemical balance of our brain.
This is caused by the same things that cause anxiety. We become overwhelmed by problems and worries. We can also get depressed about the prospect of having to face anxiety every day.
I don't know much about depression but this chemical imbalance isn't fixed for life I don't think. With the right advice and therapy the normal balance can be restored.
Anti depressants are helpful for a relatively quick fix if we have mouths to feed and a job to hold down or a family to care for. But meds don't cure depression they bring respite.
To recover your quiet mind the first thing to do is the obvious: remove those negative factors that have been causing you so much depression. Be ruthless if you must, make great changes in your life to neutralise the negative factors in your life.
Then seek the company of people who make you happy. Go places that make you happy. Eat food that makes you happy. Buy clothes that make you happy. Watch films and listen to music that makes you happy.
Maybe it's just a little bit of happiness at first. But surround yourself with so many different forms of happiness and maybe before long you will start to feel happy. Like so much happiness is catching.
As I say, I don't know a lot about melancholia. It's only a suggestion.
I’m in processes of changing things in my life and was very happy for quite a while. I have bipolar and anxiety ptsd ocd. I do many things that make me happy so I think you get it but today those things are tainted a bit you know? Well I hope I feel better soon. Thanks Jeff
💕👍🏻
I remember the light shining out for you quite recently, so I went back and looked for it:
"A very small part of me thought I could heal and do better. Never give up. Hold onto that hope no matter how small the opening of the door out of hell can seem. Joy and peacefulness are waiting around the corner."
You wrote that for us then. The worm turned, as it is wont to do. I am sorry!
Perhaps your words then can comfort you now. I'm glad for you you have a plan to give you strength.
Thank you wow it means a lot to me that you recalled it and pulled up those words. ✨ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ✨
You're welcome my friend.
That seems like a really good idea Starr! I think when we help others it takes our mind of ourselves and our own problems. Also, Helps us feel we are worthwhile, which is something, I think we all need. 👍🧓
True thanks Dubba
One gets a blessing when she helps others However in a depression usually a person needs first to take care of her needs first. It is hard in a depression to get motivated period. Whenone gives out of what one doesn’t have emotionally one gets more depressed. When you are out of your depression you can give out of a full heart. Take care of yourself and rest a lot.
Oh that makes sense Mauv thank you
'Morning Starr,I'm very behind in replying to Posts. Please forgive me. I'm embarrassed.
You have a loving, compassionate plan. I believe with all my heart that helping others in not only a worthy act of kindness, it also quenches your soul. I'm not surprised with your plan since it is in keeping with the person you have allowed us to know, care deeply for and cherish.
I am worried about you, Starr. When you wrote, "I already decided what I'll do with myself so besides that shit and no matter how that stuff all goes"... made me feel uncomfortable and especially concerned about YOU. The ending of your sentence, "I will put my effort into helping others however I find I can."is, of course, a beautiful, selfless act.
But who is taking care of you, Starr?? It will help me to know exactly what your thoughts are about how I can offer you solace, offer you the same help you wish to give to others...how we, as a close community of caring, supportive people can offer you any help you may find you need.
Just a thought, my friend.
Take extra special care of yourself. I care so much about your journey to happiness and releasing yourself from intense pain and suffering.
Sophie
I keep crying. I like that t releases toxins but I’m just so sad and i need to take care of everyone in my family except my oldest son. He is very independent but everyone else rely on me for things. I just have no motivation and I think it’s easier to be selfless and take care of others when I’m doing well. This is so hard. I need someone. I have a great group of people who love me but none in the position to help me.
Starr,Help me understand...not in the position to help you?
How are you feeling today?
I guess I mean no one wants to help me. I ask for things to be done that I shouldn’t be expected to do but nope, so I’m done. I’m not going to continue to do what I don’t want to do. But I like things neat so I’ll just have to yell I guess until they listen ugh so tired of so much I’m feeling like yesterday. Depressed. Hopeless. Defeated. I logically know there is always hope and I won’t always be this depressed but the pain is so much I just wish there was a way out you know? It’s weird though I laugh more lately than usual but then later on I’m crying with thoughts of suicide and I’m miserable. It’s bipolar. I’m tired of it.
Hi Starrlight,
I am so saddened to read how bad it is for you now. I am worried about you going fro laughing then crying and suicidal thoughts. You just had a med. change, I think? Maybe the doc who gave you the med. change might have an idea how to make this time easier if you explain what's going on?
What you wrote about doing for others is not just a wish. I know personally how kind and caring you can be to a stranger.
I hope there will be a way for your pain to lessen. Soon.
It’s getting hard to function. I will contact my doc tomorrow and I talk with my therapist tomorrow.
Thank you for your kindness to me.
My goodness don't thank me. You called me friend, remember? Call on me if it helps to talk. I wish they would let you include photos in replies. I remember you telling me you liked my bird picture.
Starr, if we lived in the same town, I'd clean your entire house...and I have learned to be one fabulous cleaning person...always natural products. And, I'd clean with joy, because I'd be cleaning for you...I HATE to clean...I think.It's enormously difficult to remember that you WILL feel much, much better...not depressed for long, long, periods of time. You won't feel hopeless and defeated. Eventually, you'll be filled with hope. You won't feel defeated...instead you'll feel triumphant.
I know you're aware of this, but, as you well know, the enormous pain that engulfs you now,squelches the memories you have of better times, happier times, times when you were eager to paint, eager to express your creativity....times when you adored the pleasure of nature.
And you also know that eventually you'll crash. Bipolar is a monstrous diagnosis. However, you know that the misery it brings will always dissipate.
Maybe it would helpful if you wrote yourself a detailed letter that concentrates on the numerous details that are present when you're feeling terrific, feeling the dignity that accompanies the inner-knowledge that you are once again in control of your emotions and subsequent actions, feeling nurtured by your family and friends, feeling the overwhelming excitement of knowing that your gifts of creativity, most especially your beautiful painting, will shortly emerge once again. Try to remember the feelings you experience as you stand in awe of nature, the glorious colors of nature, the scents, the rich textures that surround you. Try to replay the joy you feel as you watch your darling sons playing, exploring their environment, feeling free as they revel in their awareness that their loving mother is with them, demonstrating her love in many ways, surrounding them with the awesome feeling that they are safe in a world that is sometimes confusing and frightening. And then just a short sentence acknowledging that at this present time you are feeling terrible. In no way is this reality to be diminished.
New medications are becoming available at a much quicker pace than ever before. Their efficacy is not being questioned. Those of us who suffer the myriad of diagnoses associated with mental health issues also recognize the fact that an individual can develop a tolerance to a medication, therefore diminishing the positive effect it once offered. This is, of course, disappointing, yet it is a reality. We must learn ways to cope, ways to remain connected with others. HealthUnlocked is one excellent source.
Starr, it's evident that many of the members of this community care about you very, very much. I know, and hopefully, you know, that I am one of them.
I am here to offer you an 'ear' to listen. I will attempt to offer suggestions that may be a small measure of help. You can always count on my support.
Your friend,
Sophie
Thank you. Sorry for a short reply. I’m exhausted. I’m taking a break from healthunlocked. Peace and joy to you... and I invite you to come over and clean any day. 😉 Love ya so
Dear Starr,Never feel as though you have to reply to anything I write. I do appreciate your response so I know you received my message.
I'll miss you while you take a break from HU. Please remember that I'm here for you.
Sending you back my wishes that you find peace, inner-strength and much joy.
I truly understand how you may be feeling, Starr. Please take extra good care of yourself. I, and I'm sure all your friends on HU are pulling for you.
Sophie
Hi Sophie,
I read your post, and I wonder if you've found any unscented natural cleaning products you like. I share my home with a bird, and a bird's respiratory system is so sensitive she can die from anything harsh you use. (I had no idea how much you can't do anymore once a bird is around.)
I loved your post to Starrlight. I wish I could express myself so well.
I realize that what I wrote about doing for others is actually what I need people to do for me. 
I am sad to learn you are changing your meds Starrlight you seemed happy, my husband has bipolar he is on abilify and seems ok on it it's certainly better than olanzapine it up cycles dopamine The thing is having a medication that lifts you during the time that you aren't manic which is usually most of the time , there is another good medication for bipolar called Lamotrigrine have you heard of it?
My meds usually wear off so maybe I could go off on off on .... to keep it working.
I just want my soul to exit this shell.
I hope you get the right meds
Give to others and yourself. You are truly a wonderful lady and selfless. Fill yourself up with love caring and what you need to recharge yourself too. I care to yet i have to be careful to protect my mind and heart too. Take care my sister.
You just reminded me of protecting the mind and heart ... I wish I was in a better place but best to you yes take care of yourself bro!
It's important to look after yourself as well in the process, so that you can sustain yourself, keeping energy in the tank so you can help others.
Do I have depression and if so what can I do about it?
What do people talk about all the time? 
Depressed on life and don't know what to do 
What should I do? What do you do when you feel depressed or anxious or BOTH?
Being a depressed extrovert
