Feeling really lonely… Numb. People are close but I don’t feel connected. I feel very disconnected.
Like Im invisible and the world, time and people are like floating through me.
Don’t feel loved. Feel like im so full of flaws that im incapable of being completely loved.
Feel like Im hollow. Theres nothing for me to give. Nothing I can do. Worthless.
All these superficial things I do to ‘pep’ up my mood… brush hair, paint nails… even shower or take my multivitamins…. It’s not helping develop self-love. Not being able to fool myself by fixing how I seem from the outside. In some sorts… Its creating a bigger divide and rift within myself.
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Mynoor
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I feel the same way; the feelings come and go. It helps when I focus on positive things or call a friend to talk about how I feel. Exercise helps too. You have to know that you are not invisible, you’re depressed and understanding that is a step in the right direction.
Like Purple said, exercise helps. I have recently been trying to learn a bit more about why but I have been tapping into that for decades.
Interestingly, I reflected on all the time I have spent working out and actually enjoying running while and it to adjust my mental state it only occured to me that with all that maintenance I have put in on the body, I never did anything for mental health. It is frightfully embarassing to admit that it took watching my young teenage daughter suffer from depression six months ago, seeing her engage in CBT, take meds against my preferences and then watching her smile and bloom again I suspected maybe I should spend a bit of time on the mental maintenance as it appeared I was running out of road relying on the other approach.
In terms of the self love, when I start with small things for others and take an approach of how can I help others with that as a singular goal. The appreciation of self is a trailing effect. If I set false preconditions - such as I expect a thank you or some understanding or reciprocal grattitude, it is almost always sabotaged from the get go. The more successful path for me is to give and let it go and that brings more inner peace than I could ever go out and hunt on my own so perhaps it is just mindset?
I hope this makes some sense and the negative thoughts are recognized as just thoughts so they can pass through you on their jouney elsewhere and if you feel like smile, give them a kick in the ass as they go by.
You are not invisible here...we see you. I'd love to know more about what type of connection you are looking for...I have struggled recently feeling the same...totally disconnected to people, and feel like I'm missing those deep rooted connections to others. When I feel alone it's so easy to go down the path of destruction...negative thoughts creep in. For me, some triggers are when I see others out and about, flaunting their adventures, or when I know a close friend is off doing some sort of activity, and I'm stuck at home. I know I could get off my rump and do something, but the thought of doing it alone makes me "stuck" even more. Once I actually do put my foot out the door, I feel better...fresh air helps, but it's the actual act of DOING it...taking action. What triggers your loneliness?
I understand. So much I can do, but often lack motivation. When I get up and act, I feel so much better. When sitting around we are letting feelings lead us and control us. We get lazy. Do not trust feelings they result from negative thoughts, especially unworthiness. There is a Creator God who loves us, and we are not alone. He is responsible for all the good in the world, not the bad. Reach out to other lonely and sad people who feel just as bad.
I hear you. I get up every day and try so hard to be normal. Do the whole hair, makeup, nails thing too. It was was always expected. I think we do it more for others than ourselves. Feel so isolated and have let myself become this way, and hate myself even more I have let it happen.
Stop beating up on yourself. That makes it all worse. Think of your good moments and positive things you have done. think of pleasant times and what you have to thankful for and the wonder that life is.
Read positive stories. I say this in particular because I knew a lady who overdosed three years ago. What she did wrong: ate half a gallon of ice cream most days; read horror and gory novels, staying up all night and sleeping during the day; did not get help and counseling. In poor health she did nothing to get better. She seemed happy on the outside but didn't share her feelings and often avoided people. She had no belief system or faith to fall back on.
It is up to you to take the first step--action. You are greatly blessed but just have to notice it. There are people here who love you without meeting you. We reach out in answer to your cries. You are not invisible, especially to a God who loves you and those He or She has sent to minister to you even though you can't see them. Your past and its mistakes are behind, leave them there. They are forgiven, and you have a new start every day. Say it: "I am blessed."
I do the same every day. Really invoke the feeling of I am blessed and very fortunate. It works in the sense that I am very slowly, gradually feeling better. And it worked by not making me spiral downward to negative self beliefs. It works also by preventing me from harming myself or attempt another suicide. So yes, really make yourself believe that you are very blessed because we are. Even when we don't know how blessed we are, we are very blessed.
Being with people and feeling lonely is the worst! I'm loosing the will to even connect with most people. I agree even a bit of movement or exercise helps but some days I struggle to get there. I try to have one or two things on my to do list each day. Even if it is just making a call, or completing one small chore. Accomplishing one small thing will often roll into another and another. Keeping hands busy often will keep the mind from going down the rabbit hole!
Concerning suicide--the ones you hurt are the ones you love and love you. The one killing themselves just goes to sleep and escapes. Not their families. I speak from experience. When I was 8 an older sister overdosed at age 23. Our family was never the same. I still suffer (I am a senior) and it affected by life. Her 3-year-old son, most of all. His abusive father took him away from us because the law said so in those days. His life was not a happy one. He died three years ago with lots of regrets.
You know the secret--action and saying "no" to that immobilization that sets in and makes you lazy and sad. It's like you are stuck to that chair or bed. Feelings are false, a result of a lying brain that tells you negative things and steals your life and joy. Say "no" and the thing you don't feel like doing. Works for me!
Yes, I am completely with you. I also had attempted and know that it is a symptom, not solution. Having said that, I have learnt to have so much compassion for people who died by suicide, rather than blaming them nor laughing at their foolishness, I now know how distressed they were.
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