Depressed with anxiety spikes

[Musicalmind]

Im new here, i have been dealing with anxiety and depression for most of my life. Recently learned i have CPTSD that stsrted when i was s little boy. I was put throuhh the ringer as a child by a schizophrenic mother and abusive father and all of this has been coming to a head for years as i was burning through jobs. Im not really sure what to do anymore. Im tired and burned out

[Marysblue]

Welcome. We're dealing with alot of stuff this year and managing to do it even with depression and anxiety. I think that is courageous. Surviving a rough childhood takes strength. You are okay. Things can get better. It just takes time. It helps me to focus on the now. I love to read Eckhart Tolle or Michael Singer books or watch them on YouTube. About living in the now. Living from a place of surrender to whatever is. Sometimes we just have to surrender to what we're feeling, sit with the feelings and let it pass through us. And if we're tired just rest.There's some really good people on here and some good support. Hope you feel better .

[Kamp2020]

I'm glad you found us. I too have struggled with the same due to a bad childhood. Be patient with yourself and get a good therapist if you can.

[Musicalmind in reply to Kamp2020]

Thank you me too

[Kamp2020 in reply to Musicalmind]

Keep in touch.

[Musicalmind in reply to Kamp2020]

Thank you, how have you been doing?

[Kamp2020 in reply to Musicalmind]

I'm having some serious health issues. Might have rectal cancer. Am having a procedure Dec 17 to find out and then one I find out about that I need back surgery for spinal stenosis. Needless to say my anxiety is off the wall along with my PTSD.

[Musicalmind in reply to Kamp2020]

Sorry to hear that! Prayers that your cancer free. Anxiety is really rough.

[Kamp2020 in reply to Musicalmind]

Thank you. I've just woken up and spent the night in a racing dream. My anxiety is through the roof. How are you

[Musicalmind in reply to Kamp2020]

Hang in there and try to think about your best moments in life.

[Musicalmind]

Sorry for the massive unload.😞

[Marysblue in reply to Musicalmind]

Oh wow you have been through alot.

[Marysblue in reply to Marysblue]

You're a strong person. And it's really admirable that you tried to help your mom so much. I don't guess there's any way to have her committed without her signature.

[Musicalmind in reply to Marysblue]

Im looking into that and talking with APS. Im trying to get letters from my family. She has been assessed by crisis response people. But they say she isnt bad enough. Its because she picks up her room at the hotel and does her make up. Appears to be showering but i know she doesnt always. Im going to try again and see if i can get her to sign a power of attorney for me. Im just praying she does. Im tired and thanks for listening

[Marysblue in reply to Musicalmind]

I hope that works out. Here's some things I found definitely work for my depression anxiety. Exercise even just walking a mile or two. Don't drink alcohol that works on the same pathways as depression does. Also found taking ashwagandha reduces my stress level. You can buy it on Amazon just get a good brand like Now brand. It'll only cost you a few dollars a month. It lowers your stress hormones after about a week. Sometimes after weve been through a lot of trauma we get stuck in fight or flight mode. Find meditating will help even if it's just sitting and listening to soft music for 10 minutes and being aware of your presence and bringing your mind back to the moment. And I keep a gratitude Journal . Some days just being thankful that I have eyes to see and I can walk.So glad you reached out on here this is a great place. It's helped me a lot just having other people who understand what it's like.

[Musicalmind in reply to Marysblue]

Thank you for talking to me its been really hard. I learned i have spent most of my life always looking for the people that might want to hurt me. I got worn down because i see to much. I pick up on everything in people eyes, facial expressions, body language, tone of voice. My mind just goes there intantly telling me who not to trust. I thought i was losing my mind. I had several therapists tell me i have a skewed perception of the world. I still really dont understand much about my condition. I struggle daily. Im going to try and spend some more time in nature. Im glad i found this site.

[Marysblue in reply to Musicalmind]

That's a great idea. Sounds like you might be an empath.

[Musicalmind in reply to Marysblue]

I have been told that before. I should do some reading on it.

[Musicalmind in reply to Marysblue]

How are you doing? Im out here searching gor purpose and my next fight. I need to be helping people.

[Marysblue in reply to Musicalmind]

Hi, been dealing with an ear infection all week. And some loneliness. I am better today.How are things with you? You been getting out walking in nature?

[Musicalmind in reply to Marysblue]

Im surviving, been depressed really bad lately. Im just focusing family. I have been spending time with my mom. Its nice seeing her happy and laughing which tends to cheer me up.. Looking for work and think im getting closer to getting something. Well see

[Musicalmind in reply to Musicalmind]

Sorry to hear about the lonliness thats never fun.. I hope things improve.