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End of Relationship Re-triggering Anxiety

Jpsurf760 profile image
6 Replies

I had been free from anxiety attacks for almost 2 years. I had a serious relationship end this month and I find all my old symptoms returning because of the stress and sadness. The Covid lockdown didn't help either. I'm trying to be strong and not let it pull me back into the state I was in a couple years ago where I was constantly in a state of stress and anxiety. I guess this goes to show how much someone can actually affect your mental health. I always thought myself to be independent, I barely dated before, but this situation has made me feel emotionally shattered like none before. I relied too heavily on her for my comfort. I know I'll survive. I'm putting myself back on meds just to curb the anxiety, so I can work and function, but damn does breaking up hurt. Especially when you thought you were with the one.

Anyway, I just needed to say this to someone. There's not as much opportunity to talk or make new friends with this lockdown.

I hope you all are making it through these crazy times.

-Josh

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Jpsurf760 profile image
Jpsurf760
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6 Replies
FearIsALiar profile image
FearIsALiar

I also had a relationship end this month! I had to leave the relationship because it was just so toxic and it caused a lot of anxiety for me but caused MORE anxiety staying in an unhealthy relationship. I’m on day 17 and I want you to know it gets better! You’re gonna have bad days which is completely normal when you’re grieving over a relationship ending. My advice to you is focus on YOU during this time and know that everything happens for a reason. I relied so much on my ex boyfriend on comfort as well but i was given all lies... I was put back on meds as well and it’s been helping. This was my first breakup and I never realized it could hurt physically too! You’re not alone Josh 💗

Jpsurf760 profile image
Jpsurf760 in reply to FearIsALiar

Thank you Fearisaliar. The relationship was bringing me down, so it's probably for the best. I'm still hounding by those thoughts of "what could I have done more" etc... I know it will just take time.

FearIsALiar profile image
FearIsALiar in reply to Jpsurf760

Yeah I’m sure it was for the best! You just have to tell yourself that you’re better off without that person. Also I had those thoughts as well and I had a therapy session today and I asked her “why wasn’t I good enough?” And she said why would you want to be good enough for a cheater? Really changed my outlook on it all.. Everything will be okay though! How many days have you been apart for now? Just take it day by day. It will get easier but be gentle with yourself! I know it’s hard

iheartespresso profile image
iheartespresso

Hi. I am going through the same situation. I had to get out of a toxic relationship because my mental health was crippling. I had the same thought, "how can someone have so much power over another like this... the power to cripple someone's soul, thoughts, and emotions?" The pain of the past will heal when you work on yourself and when you think positive each day. It's harder said than done. Everyday I'm trying to be strong by not contacting my ex bf. I was with him for 16 years and to have zero contact is the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I needed to save myself. You're strong. Stay strong. I believe we'll be happy again.

Jpsurf760 profile image
Jpsurf760 in reply to iheartespresso

I'm sorry to hear that. I know it's gotta be really tough, especially with it being such a long relationship. It gets easier with time, but you just have to commit yourself to not getting in touch and finding little things here and there to enjoy doing alone. Make new friends and connect with family.

in reply to Jpsurf760

As terrible as this advice sounds, sometimes it helps to try meeting other potential partners (not to hop into another relationship) just to see that there is still more to look forward to and to enjoy other people's company rather than just embracing that one persons company the most. Although with covid that is difficult to do and you have to be safe of course. It sure takes time and i'd hate when people say time heals everything because its so.. cliche. but its really true. That one person you thought you couldn't live without is now a person you wouldn't even take back because you become more content with time.

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