why cant i be myselff: theres only one... - Anxiety and Depre...

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why cant i be myselff


theres only one person who i can be my absolute self around, my sister, i cant be myself around my best friend, my bf, its so hard for me, i cant be myself around my aunts and uncles, its just so annoying, idk how to be myself ive tried so hard, who wouldve thought that would be the hardest obstacle in my life, how are ppl supposed to know me if i cant be myself, or how am i supposed to make friends, any advice on how i can always be myself, i just get anxiety when im around ppl i cant be myself around,or around large gatherings and stuff,cuz when ur around big crowds theres a chance youd have to talk to one of the ppl if one of them says somethin to ya, but i cant talk to ppl i dont know or i get all nervous and anxious like at family gathering things, those are the worst, any advice, so i dont get anxiety everytime i cant be myself

26 Replies

Hi, That’s a lot like my experience with overthinking everything to the point of exhaustion. Try not to put so much pressure on yourself... it’s great you have your sister that you feel comfortable with.

It’s ok to pick your battles. For example, if you feel less anxious talking to people one-on-one than in a group . If you’re more comfortable visiting with your family at home instead of at a restaurant or other public place. It’s ok to start small.

All the best!

thank you

Hi! I wanted you to know you are not alone. For me it comes and goes, the ability to be myself around people. I know it’s extremely difficult but know it’s not your fault. I think it stems from bad experiences with others and from trauma. I’ve found that a new medication made it easier as I am now less depressed and less anxious. I am also working with a therapist and healing. Do you want to talk more about what it is that you think may be making it hard to be yourself?... like, what goes through your mind that may be false and defeating? I have a lot of negative self talk going through my mind a lot and I’m working on it. Hope this helps some. ((((((Hug)))))) sending positive vibes (((((

thank u so much, i think what stops me is i just always think people are judging me , and i just hate talking to ppl sometimes becuase when ur talking they are just like watching ur every move, idk thats what it is for me i think, i just hate attention, and i cant be myself cuz im afraid people wont like me if i do act myself, cuz i dont like me when i am myself so why would other ppl

Wow I totally relate to what you’ve said. I feel like people are watching and judging me too ... even when I know I’m alone ... I like being alone but I looooove love love my family although I need time away from them too sometimes.


yea , and i get a lot of time with myself and it calms me down , but at those family gathering things and everything i just get anxiety rlly bad

You know I think since I judge myself as a critic I assume others are doing that too. So I figure if we can talk nice and treat ourselves nice then we will get better

yea ive been trying to do that a lot lately , it does help a lot, thanks for ur replies

Any time

I'm an old too and it's tough to be around a lot of people except a few. I just got off YouTube where I was singing to my 3 dog's who give me reason to rise in the morning. There's only a few friends I can be with. I totally get what being an introvert is like. It's my solitude. My peace ✌️

Exactly... same here

Hi, I feel this way too. Covid has made it “ok” to stay home. If I have to speak with someone I’d rather it be on the phone and not in person. My psychiatrist told me to stop ruminating, if only it was that easy! It’s great that you have your sister. I feel that my sister judges me so I can’t speak freely.

i wish that other ppl that arent like us, would understand that we dont like talking much and stuff like that, like onetime, one of my family members went up to me and said something like , ur rlly quiet or something, and it just made me mad, cuz he said it in a rude way

but its cuz hes the opposite so , he doesnt understand what its like to be shy or quiet

I’ve found that our quietness makes some people uncomfortable, like we’re suffering in some way.

I have no kids but my partner has three and grandchildren. When they all get together I want to hide in a corner it’s so noisy and chaotic. I wish I didn’t have to go.

yea well its ok to be quiet, i used to think that ppl that were quiet were boring and stuff, but no the quiet ppl are more loud in their minds, and have stronger thoughts and minds

Sending you peaceful peaceful prayers.

thank you

It is very convincing that other people make you feel very wrong for being different than them.

I now intentionally have less (not none) to do with them. I am very happy doing this and am sure they know there is nothing that they can do about this.

I know they think about this and know that they deserve my "retreat" from them.

I think about the people on this site all the time, and feel so much improved because you don't callously put me down for anything I say.

Even when I don't do my best, you always give me a second chance to do better. Instead of just walking away like I am Worthless...

Even when you don't get a lot of replies, there are a lot of people reading what you write, and your personal valuable experience means something to them.

I don't feel like doing anything today, but your see I am still Trying..

You make me feel so valuable when some of you follow me. I am making a point with myself to Not disappoint people who have been so good to me, and deserve my best in return.


I've been sleeping a lot - is unusual for me


Hb2003 in reply to Catman22

That’s amazing 😊

Catman22 in reply to Hb2003

I just talked to somebody who choose to end the phone call by insulting me. I immediately hung up and I feel better about it.

im so glad this site is helping you : )

staypositive112 I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with that. I'm not a doctor, but this almost sounds like Social Anxiety Disorder, also known as Social Phobia. Have you talked to a counselor about this? It might help to have some cognitive-behavioral and/or exposure therapy. If that still doesn't work, maybe talk to a psychiatrist and see if you can get a medication for it.

well i dont think i have anxiety that bad, its not bad enough to take medication or therapy, i just posted all that for some supportive words to help and everyones replies did help a lot, but thanks for the reply and care

thanks everyone for ur replies, i think i will do so much better at the next family gathering, after all ur guys advice and helpful words 🙏😎🙃

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