Help

[brightlightsbigkitty]

I just need to talk to someone..

[Hb2003]

Hello 👋 😊 i would love to Talk to you

[brightlightsbigkitty in reply to Hb2003]

Thank you.. Why is life too much for some people, but not for all. Not that I want everyone to feel the way I do, but just..why me.

[Hb2003 in reply to brightlightsbigkitty]

I feel the same way as you i used to ask this question a lot when I am stressed life just throws a lot of hurdles but I have overcome then

[brightlightsbigkitty in reply to Hb2003]

I've just... I don't know what to do. I try so hard and yet I'm never good enough, never good enough for myself.. I always say that I'm never good enough for others, but I think that in reality, I'm never good enough for myself.

[Hb2003 in reply to brightlightsbigkitty]

The negative mindset that your having is not good dont be too hard on yourself think positive be thankful for everything you have 😊 dont let your emotions control you

[Hb2003 in reply to Hb2003]

Life is sometimes hard for a reason but sometimes we don’t know the reason . I think life is hard for some people because life is testing you or god is testing you i hope that i dont offend anyone by the mention of god if i do I apologize

[brightlightsbigkitty in reply to Hb2003]

It's ok, I'm not religious but I have no judgment on others views.

I grew up homeless, I can't remember anything from my childhood. Is that normal? Do normal people remember their childhood? All I remember, is being homeless, being sent to our cousins to sleep or the hospitality house. My parents never did hard drugs or drank a lot, they had three kids before they were 21.. My parents had mental issues that I still don't understand today... My mother is a compulsive liar, and all of the time growing up she would have some type of episode.. Shaving her head or hitting me (only happened once, that I remember) or jumping out of the window of a two story apartment and blaming my father pushing her. Why do people do things like this? Why can't she acknowledge that she hurt me. I don't want her to hurt more, I just want her to know that this hurt me and was very hard. One thing I can remember is being around 10 years old and being forced to go to the hospital, my mother would tell me that everyone was trying to kill us. She would tell me that my own father was going to kill us and we had to run away. She would take our home phone (which... clearly wouldn't work away from our trailer..) and she would force me to go with her, walking for miles in a direction sometimes unknown. Sometimes people would see us walking around and then help us, they would give us a ride for a few miles, they even gave my mom a little money for food for us, but of course she spent it on cigs. Anyway we get to the hospital eventually and she refuses to go inside. She tells me that the doctors inside want to kill her and me. She tells me that everyone wants to hurt us, and this is all around 3am and I'm just a child... A child who is supposed to go to school tomorrow. A child who is supposed to have stability, a home, a caregiver, not be a caregiver.

I just needed to talk. thank you.. sorry..

[Blisswall in reply to brightlightsbigkitty]

brightlightsbigkitty i want you to know that i appreciate you talking out.

I'm sorry that you have to be going through this. From your explanations, i discover that your mom certainly needs helps and you of course need some as well. But you seem to be more 'normal' compared to her...so, i'll need you to understand that fact that she needs help. I also see that you love your mother and need her to be fine...so, If thee is any way you can help compel your mother to the hosital, kindly do so (not focefully, don't argue or disagree with her opinion, play along and i trust God to give you wisdom to do so)...but also, i'll encourage you to take care of your own personal health first. You can't help somebody if you are not mentally stable yourself. If it doesn't seem to be working, kindly find an alternative...maybe you could go live with family and friends for a while or somewhere you can get help yourself.

You really need mental health care yourself, dear.

[Hb2003 in reply to brightlightsbigkitty]

It is ok i am back sorry if i took a very long time to reply I haven’t been feeling well but that is not the subject matter you need to talk to the counselor because this is a serious matter

[Hb2003 in reply to Hb2003]

You should also talk to the authorities about this i am really sorry that your going through this and have to go to school tomorrow please talk to your teacher your friends or anyone else i am here for you if you need me 😊

[brightlightsbigkitty in reply to Hb2003]

This was years ago! She got help, she was on medicine for awhile, but she kept not taking it and more episodes would occur.

Neither of my parents graduated high school and my older brother didn't even finish high school because my parents didn't care about our education.

I hated being homeless and no one caring about my education, so I left. I was still homeless, just by myself because in my case that was better.

So I was still homeless, but I was determined to do better than my parents. So I worked as hard as I could, had a job at 14 and ended up graduating high school, I was a first-gen high school graduate.

[Hb2003 in reply to brightlightsbigkitty]

That’s amazing that you graduated ❤️✌🏻 and you made a good descision 😃

[brightlightsbigkitty in reply to brightlightsbigkitty]

I'm 25 years old now, I'm doing mostly great right now, I've just been having horrid night-terrors. I just wanna know what is wrong with me.

I'm a first-generation high school graduate, I graduated in 2014, and I graduated from Community College with my Associates Degree in 2018 and then I am about to graduate with my Bachelors in Science in Economics.

[Mary-intussuception in reply to brightlightsbigkitty]

There is nothing wrong with you.

You have shown great courage and determination.

Look at what you have achieved !

Have you do spoken to your doctor about the night terrors?

[brightlightsbigkitty in reply to Mary-intussuception]

I have spoken to them about it, I had a sleep study done and they ruled out sleep apnea but I'm in the process of scheduling another appointment, they wanted to double check for narcolepsy. I've tried therapists, medication, everything, nothing ever helps. I just want to not feel afraid to go to sleep.

[Blisswall]

Hi, I'm here...let's talk

[brightlightsbigkitty in reply to Blisswall]

My night-terrors just keep getting worse, I wake up every morning literally drenched in sweat, I've started sleeping on the couch for the past week because I feel so bad about it for my boyfriend.

[Blisswall in reply to brightlightsbigkitty]

I'm so sorry about that dear.

[Blisswall in reply to Blisswall]

life is in different stages...sometimes we're up and another time we're down. Please, hold on and this dark time shall pass.

If you wanna talk about how it started, then i'm willing to listen.❤

[Hb2003 in reply to Blisswall]

😊 your amazing at explaining 👍🏻✌🏻

[Hb2003 in reply to Hb2003]

I sometimes get afraid about what i write i am always afraid that i might offend someone or say something that doesn’t help

[Blisswall in reply to Hb2003]

@Lilly40 Thanks for your kind words...We're here t help one another get stronger, i believe💪

[Hb2003 in reply to Blisswall]

Your welcome i just am bad at explaining some things but at least i tried

[Blisswall in reply to Hb2003]

It's worth it, dear

[brightlightsbigkitty in reply to Hb2003]

I am so bad at explaining things...

[brightlightsbigkitty in reply to Blisswall]

Thank you so much... I posted in the comment above

[Blisswall in reply to brightlightsbigkitty]

I replied to your comment, hunny

[Hidden]

Remember blbk,

You've got to make yourself Happy,

because other people won't

Chris

💪

[brightlightsbigkitty in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I try. My dog helps

[mollykay70]

Wow! I read everything here and the things you went through sound horrible!! It’s no wonder you still have all of these other issues. Your childhood was traumatic. Things happened to you when you were a child that affected your ability to feel safe and know what safety even feels like. I think that what you’ve been able to accomplish despite everything you went through is awe inspiring. The fact that you were able to take care of yourself and get through high school miraculous. You are a very strong person. That being said, you deserve comfort and healing. Be kind and gentle to yourself. I think you are truly AMAZING!!!

If you haven’t had trauma therapy or seen a therapist that specializes in trauma and EMDR, I think you should consider it.

[brightlightsbigkitty in reply to mollykay70]

Thank you!

I've tried EMDR and I could not understand it at all. Maybe I was trying to hard, but It's really hard for me to understand things.

[mollykay70 in reply to brightlightsbigkitty]

It was really confusing for me too. I don’t know what to expect. Maybe you weren’t ready at the time too. It might take a long time for your brain to process the trauma buried inside. I have not have had the same level of trauma in my childhood that you did but what did come up for me was surprising and profound.

What EMDR does is make new pathways in your brain to process traumatic events so you aren’t triggered by the things tied to your trauma that affect your daily life as much. Helps to make the feelings less intense and apply some logic to the memory or feeling as an adult rather than always being stuck in the fear that you experienced as a child. It can also help you create new thought patterns behind some of you negative thoughts.

I found it more helpful than CBT or DBT therapy. But your situation being so different than mine, it might be totally different for you.

I hope you are having a better day today.

[PeaceV]

I like to talk as well?!! Wasup!