In my black hole of depression again - Anxiety and Depre...

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In my black hole of depression again

Luna_Child
Luna_Child

Feeling nasty depression wanting to cover myself with my blankets. I let go of a lot yesterday with my Therapist and thought I'd feel better and I feel worse. This totally @#$*"&! I hate this feeling so much. It's pouring out too so no walks for the fur babies which helps me too. Too much stuff going on. Can't deal today. I go along feeling okay them Bamm! "Hello black hole nice to see you again"

42 Replies
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Hey Luna,

That sounds really horrible and beyond frustrating. I’m so so sorry.

Sometimes I get hit like that too. It really sucks, and I see your anger. You are not alone.

I’m glad you said something here, so you can vent however you need to.

If you can, just take the day to rest. Minimal to no work. If you’re able, maybe get some sleep. At least for me, those help to clear my head. It’s okay to not be okay, Luna.

God bless you and I pray you feel better by the end of today. My door is open, and please keep using the site if you have to vent. You got this.

Luna_Child
Luna_Child in reply to Jay1938

Thank you so much. You're a true gem for sharing and telling me it's okay to not be okay. It's hard to wait until it passes because I have zero motivation. Mornings can be tough a lot and I'm better in the afternoon. There's a lot going on I cannot change however I will absolutely take your advice and go with it & take it slow today and take the furry cuddling also. Hopefully it will pass soon

Thank you Jay!

Jay1938
Jay1938 in reply to Luna_Child

I definitely understand the zero motivation. It’s really really hard. I’m real sorry about the rough mornings, and I hope by the afternoon you feel better. Please take it slow and enjoy the time with your pets.

No problem, Luna, you got this!

Luna_Child
Luna_Child in reply to Jay1938

Youre awesome 😊👍 thank you

Uh oh. I'm sorry. Yep, I know what you mean by "bam, hello". I swear we must have light switches in us or something. It was raining buckets here yesterday and it was hard to keep my mood up, so I'm sure that there's a connection there. Do you take vitamin d or use a therapy lamp? One or both of these might help.

I hope you feel better soon!😊

Thank you. Yes Vitamin D

That's good! It is amazing how much a lack of this essential vitamin can mess with our heads. Are you able to acquire a therapy lamp? I can recommend one if you'd like.😊

Sure. Thank you

Ok, let me pull up the link. Brb.

usa.philips.com/c-p/HF3510_...

I have this and like it.

Thank you very much 🌞

Any time!😊

I need to go get some fresh air before the sun goes down in 1.5 hours. The sad thing about this? It's only 3pm...

Talk later.

Sorry

Why are you sorry? Because of the weather? Thanks. Yeah, it stinks. I have a headache, I'm tired, I don't feel that well emotionally, and I still have to walk home. My husband and I just talked on the phone. He wants me to go get more crap... er... I mean stuff🙄, but I'm too tired. I can't not get it because there is a very real possibility of Oslo going into lockdown again starting at noon tomorrow. I nean, they've already told his whole company to stay away from the office, so things aren't looking good. They actually need permission to set foot in the building now. This stinks!

It definitely does. Stay safe go home

I did it! I got what I needed! Homeward bound now, yay!

Luna,I know exactly how you feel. Depression doesn't have the decency to give us a warning signal that it's coming. It just slams itself into our psyche and lingers until we find a way to cope. I hope you're feeling better soon. Hold your pets as much as possible. Sometimes I'm afraid my dog will blow up from all of the feelings I pour into her.

Sweettina

Luna_Child
Luna_Child in reply to Sweettina

Thank you Sweetina for sharing. I hear you I always wait for the Telegram to tell me when it's planning on showing so I could plan as I'm never ready for its arrival. My pets are definitely a help.

Thank you 😊

Oh man. Can I do anything to help? Try watching ren and stimpy's happy happy joy joy song on youtube. It's thought-provoking. Seriously. Hope you feel better soon.💖🌞👍😎🌻

Haha! K that got me a smile. I do have a bunch of songs in my YouTube profile that I love buy I'm not feeling motivated. I hate this feeling. Thank you for your kind sweet thoughts!

Thanks Luna. You are very supportive to me and I wish you well. Don't hit yourself in the head with a hammer to be happy. Let it happen naturally? ;)

I'm just kidding Luna (about the cartoon of course). I tend to find meaning in things that aren't there.

I am having exams so was not here. And, then I saw this mail popping at the top and I logged in just for you. To see the brightest person here, in such a state, it saddens me too. I know, it's tough, very-very tough, an emotional roller coaster that is playing on. When we are in that space, it usually becomes cyclical because no matter how much we try, we still fall in the same place. Rather than going through all this alone, you can try to vent it out to anyone, as you did with your therapist. Here, maybe. And, if not needed, don't make sense of everything, your therapist must be guiding you better on that. The acceptance you already have, just try slowly to come out of that black hole by creating some space and then healing in that space, then move forward from this transition, even if it tries to pull you back. I am unaware of your state, just trying to bring up something from my experience.

I hope, you get well soon. Please tell me anytime, if I can be of any help to you.

In this, we are together.

You are a brave person, you will come out of this.

Luna_Child
Luna_Child in reply to Shivedita

Thank you Shivedita. You are so right and so kind to log in and share your thoughts.

Hugs

Xx🤗

Shivedita
Shivedita in reply to Luna_Child

Anytime for you. Lot more hugs. :) :)

Luna_Child
Luna_Child in reply to Shivedita

You too! 🤗🤗

Oh Luna_Child,

I'm so sorry but also glad that you let us know. Those black holes are unreasonably horrible. They make you feel as though you're trying to run on empty. You must feel as though those black holes are somehow attached to you. Coupled with a lot of stuff to deal with intensifies them, right? It's not fair!!!! You are so generous in so many ways...your 'fun' posts give me a break from the big D. Get under your covers...make yourself feel cozy...remember how much you're cherished...how much you're needed...how lovely and loving you are to your parents (shopping every weekend as only one example)..all the many, many people in your life who know from from their experiences with you, that knowing you and having you as their friend is a magnificent gift.

I wish I had a gorgeous, magical wand. Then I could wave it all around sending you all the things you need to once again feel OK. Please know that you're going to be in my thought constantly. You're NOT alone.

Sophie4

Luna_Child
Luna_Child in reply to sophie4

Thank you Sophie! You're one of the best!

I have the same thing happened I had two really good days in a row talk to my therapist yesterday for an hour about all bad things that are going on , now I feel worse.

Luna_Child
Luna_Child in reply to Marysblue

Yes I am figuring because I let it out it depressed me but I also have these cycles too.

Luna, I completely understand about black holes. I've had many of them in my life. I am so sorry for you. Sometimes we tell people (maybe your therapist that day) things that really upset us, and there are times that they say things back to us that makes us feel worse. When I went to my psyc one time, she asked me about my binge eating disorder. I told her how I go to the store and buy all the things I like, when I am ready to go on a binge, and she said, "I am like a child", and I said I can't help it when I get that feeling that I have to eat lots of things that I like. She kept saying, "why do I bring these things into the house, and saying I am like a child. I kept trying to explain to her, I can't help it. My brain just goes into that mode. I was so upset after that and went into a black holes for a few days. Obviously, she had no clue what binge eating is.

I find that it usually takes one person to say something that upsets you, and there goes that black hole.

I can't make those black holes go away from you, but I can truly empathize with you. I hope you feel better, Luna, and keep petting those dogs. I do the same thing with my little baby girl, "fur baby". Take care of yourself.

That was awful for your Therapist to say you're like a child for bringing food home to binge but not bingeing. That shows strength and courage.

Thank you for sharing.

Hugs

Xx

Your welcome

Depression for me, is me destroying myself mentally and allowing myself to continue ruminating or dwelling on the things I’ve done wrong.

It feels impossible sometimes to be positive and look at the positive things.

I try to learn to laugh about those things. Even if it’s a grumpy laugh lol. It’s a lot of forcing and “bullshitting” (that’s how I see them when it drops on me)

Stay strong and stay safe. Things are and will be ok. You’re a strong person, I know it 😀

I’ve seen the positivity in your heart with some of your posts so keep that in mind. You are a good person, worthy and of much value to the world. Just like everyone else.

Much love to you, a big hug and I’m here for you and anyone else needing a virtual ear and/or set of eyes(since I’m reading) I’m just being silly 🙃

Luna_Child
Luna_Child in reply to fakehackr

You're truly someone with much strength and courage. Thank you for sharing and caring.

Many hugs 🤗 back and I'm here for you as well!

Xx

Stay strong

Hi Luna,

I'm sorry you're dealing with the black hole of depression right now. I know that feeling where it just comes out of nowhere and hits you like that. It's one of the worst feelings in the world.

I know you're like whacked on the head. I wish depression would send a Telegram with a warning.

Right?! I've often found that my worst depressive episodes are the ones I didn't feel coming.

Yes exactly. Thank you

Hi Luna, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. The best thing I can say is that sooner or later these feelings tend to pass. I really am not sure what to say because I'm going through a very dark time myself. Just wanted you to know I saw your post and I feel for what you're going through.🙂

Thank you for your support Googoodollsfan! You're very kind to share! I know things have been tough for you as well. You're in my thoughts.

Hugs 🤗

Xx

Still feeling depressed , covering my head this morning,, can't deal! I hate this feeling of darkness

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