I feel so behind in life. Everyday I constantly dwell on how everyone’s life is better than mine. Or they have everything that I want. It physically makes me feel sick when I see people doing things that I’ve been wanting to do for a while or have the career I was going to school for and dropped out because it got hard and I was constantly doubting myself and my talent or lack thereof and I just felt this wave of inadequacy pour over me and I just couldn’t get out of that hole I was so deep in.
I sit here everyday with envy and jealousy seeing other people living the life I want and don’t have. But I know it’s all me. It’s my fault. I get so insecure and doubtful that I quit everything before I even start. I dwell on things for like days and weeks at a time. I get in this little shell that I don’t want to come out of and I just continue to hate myself and the life I’m living even more. I have lost so many friends because I distance myself due to being so jealous of others and being so insecure. My anxiety is through the roof about being behind in life for a 27 year old mother of one. I just have this thing inside me that just stops me from doing everything . I wish I could explain it better but basically I’m hurting myself.
Does anyone have any advice at all on how I can get through this? It is dragging me down. I have completely lost myself and gave up on trying. I didn’t even do my hair or makeup anymore. I’m 60 pounds heavier than my previous heaviest weight. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Thank you for whoever takes the time to read this. I just needed to vent.