What can I do ? 🥺: I feel so behind in... - Anxiety and Depre...

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What can I do ? 🥺

Brooke_L
Brooke_L

I feel so behind in life. Everyday I constantly dwell on how everyone’s life is better than mine. Or they have everything that I want. It physically makes me feel sick when I see people doing things that I’ve been wanting to do for a while or have the career I was going to school for and dropped out because it got hard and I was constantly doubting myself and my talent or lack thereof and I just felt this wave of inadequacy pour over me and I just couldn’t get out of that hole I was so deep in.

I sit here everyday with envy and jealousy seeing other people living the life I want and don’t have. But I know it’s all me. It’s my fault. I get so insecure and doubtful that I quit everything before I even start. I dwell on things for like days and weeks at a time. I get in this little shell that I don’t want to come out of and I just continue to hate myself and the life I’m living even more. I have lost so many friends because I distance myself due to being so jealous of others and being so insecure. My anxiety is through the roof about being behind in life for a 27 year old mother of one. I just have this thing inside me that just stops me from doing everything . I wish I could explain it better but basically I’m hurting myself.

Does anyone have any advice at all on how I can get through this? It is dragging me down. I have completely lost myself and gave up on trying. I didn’t even do my hair or makeup anymore. I’m 60 pounds heavier than my previous heaviest weight. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Thank you for whoever takes the time to read this. I just needed to vent.

16 Replies
oldestnewest

I know the feeling..

I hear ya

I'm always this way.

I am going to force myself - there's no other way - to go do really small things like get food and make Important phone calls.

It's sad I have to force myself to do any little thing. Sometimes I just hate myself.

Chris

😫

Hb2003
Hb2003 in reply to Catman22

I said that to myself and my friend snapped at me told me not to say that i also said that i am a idiot today because i am so horrible at math

Catman22
Catman22 in reply to Hb2003

So you're not allowed to want to improve your life without being yelled at?

I am losing my patience with the way that people are.

They are so Not helpful and so judgemental...

They all are very Discouraging!

Chris

😿

Hb2003
Hb2003 in reply to Catman22

Honestly my friends haven’t contacted me in a long time i feel like I’m a waste of there time and I’m wasting my time dwelling with anxiety and not believing the fact that they are not true friends

Hb2003
Hb2003 in reply to Hb2003

It’s hard to accept the fact that they dont spend a tiny bit of time to talk to me . 😩

I seriously feel the SAME way. I thought I was alone. I’m so afraid of everything too. I’m super afraid of starting a new job and going to the store. So much that before entering either one I would end up leaving because I’d get so nervous or start thinking negative thoughts and be too scared to go in. I don’t want people judging me. I need a new job so bad, I’m so broke. But I’m too scared to go out and get one and something inside me just stops me from doing anything. Ugh 😭😭I just want to be normal

I have experienced that ans the best advice that i would give you is to not let your emotions control your day you have to be In control Not your emotions its going to be hard but i have done CBT and it has helped A lot

Exactly, Don't be ruled by my frequently bad emotions - and make better decisions about what needs to be done.

And friends and family are such major

Disappointments!!

Chris

🙌

Hb2003
Hb2003 in reply to Catman22

Your emotions are valid My family in the other hand is super kind and understanding but my friends just ignore me 😒 😩 it gets on my nerves 😔

I'm not sure this is what you were expecting but here goes....

1. You are not psychic! You have no clue what those people are actually doing, how they're feeling or what they're going through. He might have a smile on his face but that doesn't mean he's having a good time. She might be in the career you think you wanted but they might be miserable about it. The deal is you don't know. The only person's emotions you can know with any accuracy is yourself. If your head is as soupy as mine gets sometimes, you can't even figure that out.

Two. I read several times in your post that you give up you give up you give up. And then you want to know why things aren't going your way? Honey if you give up before you even start then there's no way in hell you are going to succeed. If you talk yourself out of it before you even get to it....well, you're never going to do it.

So you can redefine what your success is. Find some way to celebrate an achievement during the day, EVERYDAY and then you and your child celebrate. That way it teaches the child that every little positive step counts. It matters, it means something. That we count, even if we're not perfectly on target we still matter.

You gotta get up off the sofa and you and the child go for a walk every day. You say that you gained a lot of weight & winter is coming. There's going to be less sunlight so go get some while you can & spend some time with your kid. If they're old enough ask them what they think about things in their world and listen. If they aren't old enough then direct their attention to the beautiful things that they see it might be a leaf it might be a tree it might be a bird it might be a rock. Who knows. but getting a little sunlight on your skin tends to make people feel better.

C. Honey if you don't already have a therapist you should find one. Having someone to talk to and work through the anxiety and depression would be a benefit for you. I'll bet it would be a benefit in your family's life. Don't forget that modern pharmacology might be able to assist.

Blessings to you too honey. I hope you get some peace

You're not the only one. I have to force myself to do anything.

Hi Brooke, I find myself in a similar situation and trying to climb out of it. Terrified of having a job and sometimes afraid to go into a store.

Don’t give up! I think the most helpful thing is: start small. Pick something not too intimidating and just force yourself to do it. Like try working part time instead of trying to go full time all at once.

Also, learn by doing. The only way to overcome fears is to face them.

I am trying to take my own advice! Have never had a job in my life. Not even part time. But I will keep trying and hope to get there one day. It’s a work in progress!!!

All the best!

I appreciate you all taking the time to reach out to me, you have no idea what that little gesture means. It means that people aren’t as bad as I think they are. I fear people. I know I need therapy but money is an issue. No insurance is an issue. Thank you all for sharing your experiences and being involved, i don’t feel so alone now. I hope you all find peace, strength and happiness on your journey of healing!!

Hb2003
Hb2003 in reply to Brooke_L

Thank you to you as well

You sound like a great candidate for some counseling to help work through the insecurity and setting a plan to achieve some of those life goals. You can start here: bit.ly/2bYaQqv. Give it a few sessions to start seeing some change. It can really help you move past this and into creating a more fulfilling life for you and your little one. Prayers for peace, strength and wisdom on your journey.

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