How would you react to this?

[Micafe]

This morning I was very stressed, as usual, trying to solve a problem and I needed to talk to someone just to vent, not to ask for advice - which they cannot give - or to annoy them.

So I decided to tell a friend about having a bad headache due to stress.

That person replied, "If you can't solve the problem, put it aside, forget about it, and don't stress anymore."

Yeah sure, so easy.

So, I forget about the problem, pretend it doesn't exist and immediately the stress goes away? But the problem is still alive!

I'm sure the person did it with good intentions, but ...

[Hidden]

Vent away Micafe!!! No quick easy (and stupid) solutions here.

My taxi driver said misery loves company when I was complaining about everything!!

He was Smiling and it was very Funny.

I do not like headaches either. It's hard to think when your head is pounding.

Catman22

[Anna_and_Ollie]

Sounds like your friend was brushing your feelings off. I don’t think it’s a good idea to sweep things under the rug because it’s not going to make the problem go away and you won’t grow as a person from the experience. What are you stressed about?

[FearIsALiar in reply to Anna_and_Ollie]

I agree

[Micafe in reply to Anna_and_Ollie]

Thank you!

[Wanderlost in reply to Anna_and_Ollie]

I totally agree. Pretending a problem isn't there doesn't make it go away and most times just gives it time to grow

[mvillarreal]

Ah yes! The old "Just be more, forget about, get over..." advice given from people who have never once in their lives had the same experience. As a person with ADHD, I've literally had people tell me things like, "Try harder! Focus! Don't forget!" Okay. Or about anxiety, "Just get over it!" Then there's the other extreme of people thinking that because I have these issues, I can't do anything, and they don't expect anything at all from me. It's like, no, I can't do this as well as most people can, but I'm also not stupid. It's not that black and white!

[Micafe in reply to mvillarreal]

You're so right

[Wanderlost in reply to mvillarreal]

You certainly are not stupid.I have a brilliant child with ADHD who has to do certain things in his own way

[Hb2003]

If you dont vent you will have emotional dysregulation

[Micafe in reply to Hb2003]

Thank you!

[Hb2003 in reply to Micafe]

Your welcome

[Iammesues]

How would I react? I’d be thinking that person lacks empathy and has trouble listening

[Micafe in reply to Iammesues]

Thank you!

[Iammesues in reply to Micafe]

How did you react?

[Micafe in reply to Iammesues]

I didn't know how to react so all I said was "Forget about it? My friend didn't reply anything to that either.

[Iammesues in reply to Micafe]

Beware this person lacks empathy ok?

[Micafe in reply to Iammesues]

I don't know, Iammesues. She's a nice person. We've been friends since we were children. I think she meant well, she just made a silly mistake and I think she knows it. I'll try to forget about it...

[Iammesues in reply to Micafe]

I’m sure you have good instincts

[Micafe]

The problem is, the cause of the stress is still there and it is the stress what's causing the headache. I really try not to think about it but sometimes it's really bad and it just doesn't want to go away.

The only pain killer I'm allowed to take, because of some kidney problem I'm supposed to have, is acetaminophen and it is not helping at all.

[Cardinal2]

I think they meant well but I just think they didn't know how to say it.

[Micafe in reply to Cardinal2]

I agree. Thank you!

[Hb2003]

Take deep breaths your going to be fine ❤️🫂

[Hb2003]

I am so sorry that should never happen did you tell someone on her or reported her ? .

[Hb2003]

You should

[Hb2003]

What makes you feel sick when you eat ?