Severe Overthinker, and hypochondriac

[lovehealingforme]

I am still in the same mental circle I was in two years ago. I am having sex with risky partners then feeling extremely health anxious after. My desire to be loved, to be appreciated, to be understood puts me in these constant mental pain and addictions. I am finally going to get help because I don't think I can do it alone. I feel like im either going to die soon from a physical illness or from my mental illness from suicide. Being positive helps only for so long. I get high then I get low.

[Hidden]

So why are you getting involved with these low life guys? Stay away from them!!! I can understand wanting to feel loved, but if you're just being used, that's not love. I stupidly got involved with someone who just used me many years ago, I'm still recovering from it. If you need some inspiration, listen to Express Yourself by Madonna or something like that. I'm not on here to judge anyone, but so many people do all this having a friend- with- benefits stuff, I just feel like the hell with that. Call me old fashioned, I still believe in guys taking a woman out on an actual date and having some courtship going on before anything sexual.

[FearIsALiar]

I’m glad you are going to get the help you need. That’s so brave of you! Proud of you 😊

everything will be okay.

[Cry-for-Dawn]

Hey, again! My question for you is this - do you only feel desired / understood / loved / appreciated (well, initially) when you are in these types of relationships? Or, do you think it's possible for you to feel these things with close friends / family / counseling etc.? And... do you have these other types of people in your life? I think I read that you don't, but really think about your connections. My guess is there are at least a few people who really do care. I mean, you have one friend literally conversing with you right now.

Yes, you are exhibiting self-destructive behavior, but don't ruminate too much on death (re-read my response to your previous post) . In a surficial way, it's a healthy fear, but thinking too much and fixating is a surefire way to exhibit anxiety and depression. Plus, those thoughts tend to lend themselves to thoughts of suicide, which it sounds like you're also struggling with.

I might've already asked you this, but do you have a therapist / Psychiatrist that you are seeing, or is that what you mean when you say you're 'finally going to get help"? I think it's a great idea if you haven't already. Check to see if your employer has any sort of Employee Assistance Program. If you have health benefits, try to set up an appointment. Just know that all Psychologists/Psychiatrists are not equal. I find it's really worth a bit of investment of time to find the one that's right for you.

There's nothing wrong with continuing to ask for help here too. There are a lot of people here and although I haven't been here long, people seem like they tend to look out for each other. After all, we're all kind of in this together, right?

[lovehealingforme in reply to Cry-for-Dawn]

Thank you. I am fixating on the death part mostly. Thats where my hypochondriac behaviors stem from. I think im dying, but I don't know what the future holds. I have decided to see a therapist yes. I feel like I don't really and truly have anyone who wants to genuinely help me mentally. yes, we are in this together. I want to get better.

[Cry-for-Dawn in reply to lovehealingforme]

What things cause you to think about death? The truth is any of us could be taken at any moment. Kind of cliché, to be sure, and it can be a terrifying realization... that is, until you realize that you still have life and that it's not too late to make something wonderful of it. It's worth finding those things that are worth living for, you know, those things that genuinely make you happy. Live in those things, those moments. I know this is so much easier said, but try to reframe your outlook to see beauty, and to see hope - especially when it looks far from that way. Honestly, I am also talking to myself here because I need to do these things as much as anybody, potentially even more so.

I will say that I found you in this forum. I am still new. But, something told me to reach out to you. I don't know whether I believe things happen for a reason or everything is a string of coincidences... However, I genuinely care and want to see you happy and in a good place emotionally. So, maybe I am here for a reason, that it's not a coincidence... there's specific purpose. I came here seeking help but quickly realized that my help can really only be found in caring for others.

So, at this point, you can say to me "screw off, I don't need your help or to be your crutch so *you* can feel better" or, you can accept me as a friend that would genuinely like to help.

I am really happy that you want to get better. I think you will absolutely get better.

[lovehealingforme]

hi thank you for your response please dm me