I hate myself & my life. But I can’t end it 😔
Feeling stuck: I hate myself & my life... - Anxiety and Depre...
Anxiety and Depression Support
Hi fellow Jessica. Can I help?
Thank you for the offer. Nothing is/will help. I’m going to be like this forever.
Who says that you will be like this forver?
Forever is a strong word. We are our own bullies and worst critics. Your mind is telling you this, isn't it? Well, tell your mind that what it's saying is not true. The mind doesn't discern between truth and lies.
Myself. I’ve been trying everything and nothing helps. Antidepressants, therapy, working on myself, trying to make lifestyle changes. Nothing works.
How about this? Make a list of what you like about yourself. Do you like that idea?
I could try but i know it’s going to be hard just to think of one thing.
Ok, I'll start:
You're nice, you're smart and you don't give up. How am I doing?
The worst part? We can come to believe those lies.
Definitely believe I’m going to never get better.
Aha! Ok, now we're getting somewhere (sorry, but we are)! You need to stop believing this. This belief is what is making you stuck, so you've got to somehow combat this. Your therapist should be able to help you with this part.
How do I tell my therapist this?
Why not telling your therapist your belief straight up? "Definitely believe I'm going to never get better". She/he should be able to get the ball rolling from there. What do you think about that?
I will definitely tell her that. I’m all new to this therapy environment.
Oh, I forgot about that! You need to give the therapy time to work. Can I ask how long you've been going now?
I don’t know how much time I have left. I’ve only gone one session. My next session is coming up.
Do you like him/her?
It's really important that you two click. You'll get more out of your sessions that way.
So far yes. We’ve only had one session over the phone. I’ve never really met her in person. I kinda feel more comfortable with my psychiatrist.
You just said her. Sorry. Note to self: get coffee before responding in the morning!
I'm getting ready for church. Check on you later, okay?
It’s a cliché but you have survived every bad day you’ve ever had. You’re stronger than you think.
Can I help in anyway?
Self hatred, belittling, and undervaluing yourself (Low self esteem, low self worth) is in itself a symptom of depression. Your outlook, change in perception, change in thinking patterns will come as you work to get your depression managed and keep working your therapy.
Each day you make it to the next, does reveal a strength in yourself, while you can’t see it or feel its because of your depression, but it’s fact... it’s there. Your therapy I hope will start to help you lift the negative feedback looping. You should communicate everything, for example the feelings you have listed on this thread.
Never give up, moreover don’t give up on yourself, things can and will get better. Wishing you the best. 🌺💜
I’ve just read through your thread with MinnieMouse1234 and feel like I can relate to you in some ways. I think it’s really important you tell your therapist your thoughts about believing you’ll never get better. I have told my therapist the same thing in the past. Sometimes you feel like you have to find the “right way” to say things or, if you’re anything like me, try to wait for things to come up naturally in conversation but actually, in therapy, sometimes you just have to say things as they are - took me far too long to realise that!
Therapy is hard and you may have to work at it for a while before you start to see the benefits but don’t give up on it. “Future you” will be grateful to you for sticking at it and not giving up on yourself.
Nicely put! Don't forgot Nattynoo; this person did well too!
I remember not knowing how to bring something up to my therapist once, so I wrote it down. Since I didn't really know how to write it down either, what showed up on paper was a jumble of words, scribbles, crossed-out words and half-finished sentences. My therapist looked at it for a couple minutes, looked at me and asked "am I supposed to be able to understand this?" I told her no and that it was just my thoughts. She didn't give up trying to understand, though. We finally worked through my issue! Sure it was a painstaking process for me, but one that was worth it in the end.
I sometimes write things down for therapy too. My therapist always used to refuse to read anything I wrote because she wanted to hear it from me. Sometimes I'd print something though and give her a copy - I'd still have to read it but knowing she could see it anyway somehow made it easier to say!
Hello Jessica. I breaks my heart to think there is someone out there suffering so much. We aren't born with thoughts about hatting ourselves. These thoughts have been put there by other people and the experiences that we have had throughout our life time. Each of us is special and unique and we just have to look into the mirror head on and say it. You are loved by a complete stranger who writes this. I so know your pain. I'm in it myself, right smack in the middle. But we can't give up. We just can't . ,These are moments in time that will make us more compassionate to others, more caring, more willing to help those that are in need. You and I will know joy...we will...just hang in there. We are in it together.
One of the major symptoms of depression is the inability to believe it will ever get better. But it always gets better. Sometimes it takes years, but you won't be depressed forever. That's the depression talking.
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