I don’t know what to do anymore.

[NiBa5]

Morning is hell. I woke up with a.nightmare that Prozac causes. I’m with a lot of fear feeling my brain won’t ever be back ok. I’m alone with 2 cats. How long do I have to wait as my psych says..... idk anymore.

[Tregan71]

I know how it feels, it sucks and feels like its never going to end. I have battled with the nightmares too, wake up crying and in a panic attack. In those moments all we can think of is how to make it all stop. If I can add a few things that helped me...deep breathing is #1. Do that as much as you can and do it often. I did it until I almost passed out,I was also holding my breath. #2 is to move tour body, exercise, stretch or just walk if you can. People kept telling me to do that and at first I thought it was just crap but slowly started walking and lifting weights. Its hard to think of doing that when your in pure misery but force yourself to walk, if only 15 minutes do it. And that fear,oh that evil crap, it is so overwhelming, I have been crippled by it and anxiety lately. I honestly just had to force my mind onto other thoughts when it comes. That isnt easy but find distractions in those moments if you can. And lastly and one Im still struggling with, try your best to use positive affirmations when you are feeling anything trying to pull you down. Do them even if you think you cant...And remember, you arent alone, there are many others fighting the same mental battles. Reach out to me if needed, I wish you peace and comfort my friend.

[NiBa5 in reply to Tregan71]

Thank you for your help. Truly appreciated. I hope you’re doing ok this morning. It’s hard to deal with morning anxiety. Yes I also do “deep breathing”. I take a bath then eat. I do a laundry. I agree, it’s better to move around rather than staying in a bed. I went out for trash and walked a bit outside right now. It’s been so long I’ve been fighting for my condition. I want to go back to work again.

I hope you are feeling as a day goes on. I have “morning hell”. But it gets better as a time goes on. How about you?

Big Hugs

[Tregan71 in reply to NiBa5]

Im doing well today ;-). Im spending the day with my sons and just that alone makes me grateful. I have bouts where I let the thoughts creep back in but Im committed to winning this fight. Im happy to hear you are being proactive and taking small steps, YOU KEEP DOING THAT!!! I believe in you, I really do because I know deep inside you is a fighter and a victor!!!

[NiBa5 in reply to Tregan71]

You’re the fighter too. Im commuting to be a winner too. I’m trying to be strong to go back to my work again someday. I dedicated my life to my study and my professional work. So I’m alone with 2 cats. I’m glad you have a good day today with your sons. Please enjoy your day with them!!!!

Thank you again to help me 💕

[Tregan71 in reply to NiBa5]

I am here for you, it hurts me to know of others enduring the pain we do. I know that misery and agony so if I can help I will

[NiBa5 in reply to Tregan71]

Thank you for responding again. I suffered so much for more than 2 years. I often feel it’s enough but I cannot give up. I hope your recovery will go well👍

[Marysblue]

Stay strong, it can get better. I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

[NiBa5 in reply to Marysblue]

Thank you for reaching out. Truly appreciated. I’m just scared since a recovery of my brain has been so slow. I hope you’re doing ok.

[Marysblue in reply to NiBa5]

I'm doing okay it helps to know others are dealing with the same things. I have to try to remember & celebrate the baby steps when I am not yet where I want to be.

[NiBa5 in reply to Marysblue]

Yes that’s what I think.... a tiny baby step. I’m much better than the beginning of the year. It helps me to know I’m not alone to be struggling. Thank you for your help. I hope your day is going ok. I don’t know what time is thee. It’s 8am here... the most difficult time for me. Big Hugs.

[Hidden]

...

[NiBa5 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your response again. I truly appreciate your kindness. It’s my frustration and fear to make me feel miserable and fearful by thinking about my very slow brain recovery. I hope you’re doing well.

Big hugs

[Hidden in reply to NiBa5]

Okay, I think I get what is happening now and understand doc advice by waiting it out now. Sorry, Disregard what I wrote (I edited it out).

Take Care, one hour at a time if you have to. Keep trying new things, different coping and management methods. Wishing you the best. 💜🌺💜🌺

[Tregan71 in reply to Hidden]

Agree about taking it an hour at a time, thats very important as we seem to catastrophize everything and it seems we are never going to recover. The nights are the hardest and its then you need rest, just do as suggested and focus on getting through the next hour.

[NiBa5 in reply to Tregan71]

Thank you for being with me. It helps me a lot.

I agree with you. catastophizing is the worst enemy. Im fighting constantly against my negative thought.... I won’t ever be ok again. I’m usually better in the evening. And I finally can sleep ok without a sleeping med now. My hardest time is the morning.

[Tregan71 in reply to NiBa5]

The mornings can be hard as you view the new day as one with all the struggles and a days worth is overwhelming. I struggle at night as I view it from an opposite viewpoint, I see the end of the day and most of the struggles behind me and not really ready for a new day. Does that make sense lol? I think its also about routine and mixing up how you do things, the brain loves new ways of doing things and that in itself can help a bit with the anxiety.

[NiBa5 in reply to Tregan71]

I can understand your feeling .... not ready for a new day. Yes it makes sense. I used to feel that way when my condition was terrible. I was also scared of waking up frequently at night.

Now my brain is getting a bit better even if it’s the extremely slow pace. At night, I usually have kinda expectation of being better tomorrow morning.... then the morning comes.... it’s not what I expected. So I feel so sad and be panicky ( but I don’t have a panic attack).

[Tregan71 in reply to NiBa5]

I can understand all your going through for sure, its no fun at all. Have you any friends you can talk to or meet face to face perhaps?

[NiBa5 in reply to Tregan71]

I have a close friend who has been helping me a lot but this person will be transferred to a foreign country for work very soon. So I’ll be alone. I have to be strong get to stand up by myself.

[Tregan71 in reply to NiBa5]

Im sorry to hear your friend is moving. That in itself can cause immense anxiety. Let them help you as they can and even after they move, stay in contact if you can. A supportive text message in those moments when life is really bad can make a world of difference. Try to get out more if you can, work toward making friends if you can. Its probably the last thing you want to do but having a friend is a necessity.

[NiBa5 in reply to Tregan71]

Yes it’ll be hard for a while. But I can contact this orient through Line.

I have many colleague friends since I’ve been working all the time. But they aren’t personal friends. I don’t have so many friend. And I didn’t contact anyone for a long time since I became ill like this.

I have some forum friends at another site I chat everyday. They helped me a lot.

Thank you for your kindness. It really means a lot💕

[Tregan71 in reply to NiBa5]

I wish I could do more, I hate to see others in the condition your in. Its a place that isnt fun. I have fought most of my inner battles alone, especially when I was young, but now realize there really are others that care and can help. I am here anytime you need me!

[NiBa5 in reply to Tregan71]

Thank you so much for your gentle words. I’ve been alone since I divorced . I chose my professional life. So I’ve lived alone for a long time. My condition is no longer so awful than I was 2 years ago. But I have to wait for myself to come back. I’ll follow you and contact you when I need someone to talk. Thank you very much. Truly appreciated.

[Tregan71 in reply to NiBa5]

Im happy to do what I can and however I can! Just know you arent alone!!

[NiBa5 in reply to Tregan71]

Thank you so much for your help !!!!!!

[NiBa5 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your support. Truly appreciated all the time.