I wish I had solid faith concerning my spiritual beliefs.
I feel I wouldn’t struggle as much as I do if I had a strong/solid faith in something beyond this life. Everything feels scarier and darker without it.
Everyday death is in my mind and interferes with me being present. I wish I wasn’t so scared to live and die.
Hi OR4377
Curious if you live in Oregon with all the fires happening
I think most all of us feel we need spiritual growth after all we are a soul in a human body
We get better at things we practice. What are you doing to build your faith
We can’t achieve anything without effort
I don’t know why I procrastinate reading my bible & it just seems overwhelming but I did read today & must continue to develop a spiritual practice that becomes part of my normal life
We’re you raised in a Christian home. I wasn’t, my Father still claims to be agnostic at age 80 which I think is sad because I believe in eternal life
I think about death more than I want to. I think because my husband passed six years ago and I’m the same age ‘57’ when he died.
I have heard people that are afraid to live are the same people that are afraid to die🌻
Thanks for reaching out.
I’m in the SW. I’ll try to make the story short...
I didn’t grow up in church but I attended church on my own growing up. Pretty conservative type church.
Almost out of high school my invited me to their church, a Pentecostal church. Never experienced church in such a lovely vibrant manner! I was a member until my late 20’s. During that time I did liturgical dance, trained to be a minister and all.
Things went bad. I was betrayed in many ways by some of the people in leadership there. When I decided to leave the church I left everything- my family and friends. I considered them family.
After leaving I felt ostracized...all I did was eat, sleep, and poo church for most of my 20’s.
My whole foundation was shaken to say the least. That’s the short version. Thank you for taking the time to listen. I appreciate it🌻
I had a similar experience. I was on the steering committee for a new church in the area where I lived. Once, I heard and saw how decisions were made about things such as who should be on this or that committee, I was turned off to organized religion. Turned out what mattered was who you were, how much money did you have and who did you know. Through the years, I have made peace with the fact that I don't want to be part of any hard core belief systems or doctrine. I started opening myself up to what could I do that would follow the belief of "Love thy neighbor as thyself." I wanted to believe there is a spirit that is guiding me as I live my life. I suffered so much emotional pain as a child and an adult I never want to hurt anyone.
I fall short of this many times, but I know I can resume my quest at anytime. Once you know what direction you want to go, you can and will do it.
Hi. I understand this. You see, I grew up in the church. I raised my sons in the church….the same church. I started attending that church in 1976, so we’re talking a really long time. I went to school with a lot of the members, my kids with their kids, taught vacation Bible school to some of the grand children of other members, Wednesday night suppers, Christmas plays, etc. My mom and brother also attended this church in the beginning and then my brother moved off to live his life. I just stayed and raised my family in the same area. Fast forward to 2013 and my mother’s suicide. Imagine my shock and hurt when not only the pastor, but other members told me that on occasion, she had talked about suicide to them beforehand, and asked if they thought God would forgive it. Yet they didn’t say anything to me; they didn’t give me a head’s up there could be trouble. In my opinion, they took a chance to get her help. She never said anything to me. There were no warning signs to either me or my brother, or my sons. So I lost my faith in a building of people. I never lost my faith in God, but I did in buildings of people.
You can have faith in God and not have it involve or include buildings of people. I’ve been through a lot of crap in life, as you have I’m sure. For me, what helps me most, is to try to focus on what I see as blessings. I’m not trying to be trivial or imply that you don’t. I’m just simply sharing what I do. I found that I was focusing too much on negativity, and was in a cycle of it, and my focus became all things negative. To get out of it, I’d start trying to focus on 5 positives a day. It could be that it wasn’t raining, or I didn’t have a headache, or my car started, or that light didn’t turn red before I got there, anything to retrain my brain. Then I could see bigger things. It took time and work, but it did help. It’s been through my journey that I’ve learned, even in the hard times, that God’s Plan B is always better than my Plan A could ever hope to be, even when I can’t see it at that moment. That, to me, is faith. I pray peace for you my friend. I’m here if you need to talk. We all are.
You clearly have a lot of stress in your life but as a mother nature will give you the strength to cope and things will become easier with time.
Anxiety always magnifies our fears and worries ten times over. Remember that your nervous system is exaggerating any threats to your well being and always tries to convince you of the worst case scenario when this is not likely to be the case. You have worries, yes, we all do but in the end you will find most are groundless.
So do not fear death when you have three-quarters of your life left. You have a lot of living to do and you will not always feel down as you do at the moment.
I have no doubt you will come to an understanding with regard to your spiritual beliefs. If you wonder about all the evil things happening in the world I would only say not to blame God for the crimes of humankind who has freewill.
Feeling scared is part of anxiety disorder, part of the exaggeration process I mentioned earlier. Why be scared of something that is 90% exaggeration? I can tell you are a capable woman and your love for your son will give you the wisdom and strength to overcome all.
Please let your friends here on this forum know of your progress and your problems as a problem shared is a problem halved.
Hi OR4377,
I have, and still do to a much lesser extent, suffer from the same.
I’ve learned it’s like an OCD in religion. No one will ever have perfect faith, even though some may claim to have.
The very nature of faith is to believe in something we haven’t seen, so there will always be doubts etc. But OCD makes us obsess over finding perfect faith.
A few years ago I came across a site called the scrupe group, which has really helped me.
Hope this helps, take care.
Remember that faith is not based on feeling and it comes with practice. You have within you this spiritual longing and you can say yes through prayer (whether you feel like it or not). Feelings are fickle and come and go, but faith says you are never alone.
I believe in a dark force and the battle between good and evil is a battle for our minds. So we have to watch out for negative thoughts (that cause negative feelings). For the Christian is is a battle between Christ and Satan.
Anxiety about dying is noted in the Bible and is natural for most of us. Don't feel guilt about it. If you see mental illness like a physical one, you will not blame yourself. Many learn to live with it. But an active spiritual life makes it much less miserable with periods of joy. Pentecostal religion depends a lot on feeling and works for some, but feelings are fleeting.
But there are many churches for you to start over in and make new friends. No church has all the truth, but it's easier to find in some than others. The most important thing is to accept Christ's sacrifice for you. When you repent of past mistakes and accept His righteousness as your own, you have passed into life eternal. Read all the second coming and resurrection scenes in the Bible, most in the NT. I can point them out if you like. "Dwell on these things."
I think a lot of people question their faith at times. Maybe it would be helpful to pick up a Bible and just leaf through parts you find interesting. I personally enjoy just reading some of the Psalms and Proverbs sometimes. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest behind.
They say there are no atheists in fox holes.
I have thought about this a lot over the years, as I to have thought about death for most of my life.
There may be solace for those who blindly believe, (and on levels I envy them that)
but it has no basis in fact. Maybe you would feel better for it?
But, without having walked that path, it would color all your decisions in ways you can not know .
I don't see the benefit, only more questions.
Hi Freedom.....Just getting through the struggles you are having is a spiritual experience (you and I are open to that realm while I realize some are not). I know it doesn't feel like it now but your faith in yourself and in life will be strengthened by the experience you are having.
Do you have a basic belief system? Would it help to talk about? I'm happy to listen without judgment.
I had a more solid faith before 2017. That's when our senior pastor confessed to a long time history of homosexual activity. This was after many sermons extolling the virtues of "sanctity of marriage". Our church bills itself as a conservative and with a "biblical world view". Also that year I found out many of my friends at the church were supporting Donald Trump for president despite his bigoted and insensitive statements that were anything but biblical.
Very true. Simple is the key accept the forgiveness of Jesus dying on the cross for everybody's sin and talk with God and believe in him. The key that may be hurting you is most think you have to be perfect to come to God. Not true just come as you are I suggest you read the book of Romans in the new testament.
I'm not a member of any church (I was raised Catholic). I have been a seeker all my life, mostly a seeker of answers. In my 50s now, I am just a seeker of God. I subscribe to no one religion exclusively, but I believe in them all, or rather, I believe it doesn't matter which path you take. Same God at the mountain top, just different paths leading us there.
We cannot possibly completely know God; God is ineffable, God is always a mystery. But I have found solace in reading about the many many seekers--mystics, monks, sinners, addicts, in short, ANYONE who seeks god has something to share. And I feel less alone when I read or hear talk from someone wiser, more experienced than me. There's a lot of hope and inspiration out there, from the Dalai Lama to Marianne Williamson and many more. If you are obsessed with death as you say I highly recommend a little book called Reasons To Stay Alive by Matt Haig. He was in our shoes and came through it and his story gave me a lot of hope when I was at my lowest.
Lastly, I say this to myself everyday: God is Good, God loves you, God wants what's best for you (that last part's the trickiest- who am I to say if my suffering is not part of God's plan for me? I'm not in charge- God is).
Be gentle with yourself, we are all here for you!
I believe the same! I was raised in a catholic church but left because I didn't feel support. That made me look into other faiths and ultimately I think can be right as long as you seek a path of peace.
Right! This past year I have read a few novels, but almost all of my reading has been spiritual in nature, with some recovery books thrown in. One of my faves is The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. So inspiring and they're really funny together too, like an old married couple!
The book of joy was actually what made me just accept all! It just had such a great accepting tone to it while saying what it is!
In all beliefs there are teachings of serving others. Looking beyond ourselves will bring us comfort. I know for me sometimes it is hard to crawl out of my cocoon, but the times I do and reach out to another I find comfort. No one has to be perfect, it is not what is asked of us. We are asked to be strong when we can and when we are weak to be willing to receive help from others.
In his messages to Mohammed, blessed be his name, God said: 'I could have made you all of one church. But I did not because I want you to race against one another.'
Anxiety disorder is also part of God's plan, it is one of the ways that we are tested giving the opportunity to emerge wiser and stronger in keeping with our evolution to a higher spiritual form.
But it is a very hard test indeed.
Thats a mind game. Life is what you make it. If you want something to change you have to be the one who change it. You have to be the one who changes. You got yourself in it now see your way out. That's all that is. Being spiritual is fine and dandy, but you have to build on it. Nothing (homelessness) happens by itself, do nothing, being homeless is what you get. You have to be on top of what's happening with you, you need to change how you view things and do what's best for you. None of this is easy, there is enlightenment every where. My mother once told me " choose your poison" meaning choose what you want to do with your life and make the best of it. Make sure it coincide with whats happening with you now, the pros and cons. Make the shift. You decide how you want to live, its never easy, be prepared to fight your way through, it don't have to be physical. Find movies, shows of inspirations, music, anything that makes you feel better about who you are and avoid the negative. You are experiencing too much negativity right now, you need to balance the scale so to speak.
Just wish I was DEAD!!!!
Losing faith in people
I wish it were my anxiety..
Sometimes I wish that people knew I had social anxiety 
