Feeling Alone, Empty, and on a Deserted Island...Could this be you too?

2020 sure has been one heck of a year for all of us. Each of us has had our "own stuff" to deal with. For me, in my situation (being a caregiver for my parents), has been a life journey that I never what it would be like. It is different for each of us and there is no real guide depending on your own situation or circumstances. In this year of 2020, over 90% of the time, I have felt so alone, empty, and on a deserted island. I don't know whether I am coming or going. Most times, I feel like I have no one to really talk to (which is actually, to be honest, ALL the time). Seeing my parents age, witnessing their health declining is something I never imagined; and, what scares me the most is when they are no longer in my life. Then, I will be alone. Life is short; but, I cherish the ones that I have in my life and those wonderful memories that I have.

[Hidden]

My heart goes out to you. The pain is real and it is not easy. I often here the statement just be positive and I agree we need to have that and have gratefulness for the good we have or had but life is not so simple. You cant just dismiss the pain or struggle with positive thinking. Yes it can help but there is more to it. The feeling of being alone when your not actually completely alone is worse I think than if you are. Like being alone in a room vs feeling a lone in a room full of people. I send you comfort and loving thoughts for your day

[TailWags]

I am assuming you love your parents and get along. I saw my friends parents age and pass on and dreaded the day I would be in their position. People have been telling me for years how hard it is to loose a parent. I am single so my parents are "my family". My siblings are married with kids and grandkids or in relationships. My parents are my base, the foundation of me. The people that love me the most in the world, the ones who would do anything for me.

Then along comes covid. I was working from home, staying home, being alone pretty much all the time for weeks. It was really getting to me. Then in April both my parents came down with covid. Dad didn't stand a chance. Mom miraculously made it through but did not bounce back 100%. My life is very different now in so many ways. I am SOOO glad to have my mom. I am not saying all this to depress you. I am saying it because one of the things I dreaded most actually happened out of the blue. I lost one of my parents, and I am still here. Mom seems older than I had realized before. I don't know how all this will work out. But I do know I am in the midst of it and so far I am surviving.

It is hard to accept your parents as mere mortals. To see them age and change and need more help. I am happy to be able to return a fraction of the care they gave me in my life. It is hard. It is sad. It is depressing. But it is also a very special part of your lives. Savor these loving, meaningful times with your parents. I don't think you will regret it. As far as being alone, just about everyone is these days. If you like yourself, the company isn't too bad.

[Scrabble65]

I understand completely. My elderly parents are my best friends and I have cried thinking what will I do without them. I tend to be introverted but 2020 even has me for a loop. Feeling alone hurts. I try to entertain myself taking walks, listening to music. And know that we aren't the only ones struggling, some much moreso.