Looking to meet other single parents with depression and/or anxiety

[Hoping4change]

I’m a mom of four school-aged children. Divorced 3 years ago with 50/50 custody. I’m back in school to become a nurse due to graduate soon. I was diagnosed with major depression and general anxiety disorder over 20 years ago, have been on a variety of meds. Currently on 2 anti-depressants, a mood stabilizer and low dose anti-anxiety medication. Also a more recent diagnosis of PTSD related to childhood neglect and abuse. I see a therapist once a week and I am functional but I feel like I’m never happy. Or ever have been. I’m a successful student and good mother, but for some reason I’m always down on myself. I have terrible self-esteem and self-worth and don’t really feel worthy of having a healthy relationship since I never have. I’m sure this is mostly due to my inability to really open up or feel comfortable to be myself, since I feel like deep-down I’m not likable. People I know don’t see this because I think I do a pretty good job of hiding this side of myself but I feel the need to connect with others with whom I can be more open. I’ve lost most hope that I’ll ever actually be happy but I’m on here to see if talking with others who share the same experience can help turn this around. Although I am functional, lately when I have time to myself, I feel incapable of doing anything. I have zero motivation and all I want to do is sleep. I’m better on days with the kids because I’m always busy and don’t really have time to dwell on things, but when the kids are with their dad lately, It’s pretty bad. Can anyone relate or offer hope?

[Hidden]

Someone like you should always have self esteem. Look at yourself! Going back to school to become a nurse, while you are raising 4 children. Be proud of yourself. Once your children get a little older, you will be more on your own, working as a nurse, meeting many more people daily. Who knows, you may even find that special someone in your life. You have a good start. Give it some time. As for being happy, I have never been happy either. In fact, when people tell me they are or have been happy in their lives, I really don't understand that. I have Major Depression with no self esteem, my whole life. I was divorced years ago and I have a son that I am estranged from for about 5 years.

I, also have no family or money. I am retired. Look at my life and you will feel better. Good luck!

[Hoping4change in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for sharing and for your encouragement. I wish It was as easy at looking at my accomplishments. Perhaps I keep striving with the hope that I’ll arrive to a happier place, but so far it hasn’t worked. Maybe this next chapter of my life will be better and my work will pay off.

I’m sorry you’re going such a difficult time. It doesn’t make me feel better, just sad for you. Is it possible to go back to work? Retirement can be so isolating. Maybe working or volunteering somewhere would help lift your depression a bit.

[melstar]

Hang in there. You sound like you are a very good person and have your priorities straight. It is so hard when you have so much to be responsible for, but it sounds like you are on top of it. Be proud of how far you have come and consider the obstacles you have overcome . The day will arrive when you can look back knowing you did the best with what you had and that is a great thing. Keep going. Do not beat yourself up for feeling down, it is not so bad to be a somber person, society needs people who consider life's challenges, to plant serious slow steady seeds.Love who you are, be kind to yourself.

wishing you well

[swordfishll]

You’re going to be a nurse, you went back to school, you take care of four kids! You’re a hero. You are a rock star!!!⭐️