Terrified and Suicidal

[PackerGirl]

Hi,

I’m just so scared right now, I felt I should reach out.

I’ve been staying with a friend long since past our original agreement. She lives and runs a business and I’ve never supposed to have been here. She informed me yesterday that the board is now aware I’m here and that I need to be out by Saturday.

I’ve been unable to work for 3 years due to my depression and anxiety. I’m financially broke and have no resources so I’m going to be on the street.

I know no one is prepared to be on the streets but I really feel like I’m not going to make it. I’ve been researching options for months and there are none, so it’s not like I’ve been negligent in searching for them.

I’ve been having SI for months but it’s moved to a plan and I feel like it’s my only option. Sometimes, can’t death just be an acceptable peaceful end to a persons misery?

[Ladybug9]

Is there anyone else you can stay with temporarily?? I can't believe you got such short notice! Please start calling around and see if there is someone or somewhere they will take you in. Please keep us up to date! Hugs

[Hidden]

You are in the United States?

There is 2-1-1 Switchboard that offers free access to social services. They can connect you with housing, legal services, mental health services, access to food, assistance with paying bills like utilities, etc. This is a non profit organization that is partially funded by the United Way, it could be a resource worth looking into.

fcc.gov/consumers/guides/di...

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

This is basically what I was going to say, but better. Get help from social services if nothing else they can find shelter for you!!

[Kat_21]

I'd look into maybe section 8 housing vouchers since you have SSI. They should be able to help. Or just call housing authority and explain it to them.

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

[jtk1701]

I don't know if you've checked on a site like this, but a search here can at least narrow down some possible housing options and addresses, if not also phone numbers/contact info: lowincomehousing.us/

Have you contacted any local churches/religious organizations, or even gyms or YMCA's? (From what I understand, some gyms offer free or drastically reduced-price short-term trial memberships, which would at least be a reliable place for a restroom and hot showers.) Government agencies, hospitals, former coworkers, distant relatives, just... seriously, literally exhaust every connection you've ever had, if you can--and explain your mental health to all of them, because being disabled in any manner automatically bumps you up as a priority with welfare agencies and nonprofits. If nothing else, some of these groups/places should at least be able to give you resources, whether to shelters, employers/temp agencies, landlords, people they might know who could use a roommate, etc. (remember, money is not the only currency in roommate situations--can you cook? clean? fix stuff? tutor or babysit kids? market every skill or helpful possession you can bring to the table).

Don't be afraid or embarrassed to discuss all the facts in the situation with anyone/everyone. Don't be afraid to accept whatever help people might be able to offer you (maybe someone can store some of your belongings, someone else can give you a couch to sleep on, someone else might have old luggage or something to keep your essential documents and personal items in, etc.). Remember that you have NOTHING to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. None of this is your fault. And you are absolutely worthy of any and all help you can get.

I'm so sorry I can't be more helpful, but I love you and I sincerely hope you come through this. 💜💜 You do NOT deserve to be in such a terrible situation and NONE of this is an indicator of your value as a human being. You are worth so much more than your circumstances make you feel you are. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are a good person, a kind and loving person, and you deserve to be helped. You deserve to be safe, healthy, and happy. You are loved. 💜💜 Remember to breathe. Know that you are loved by all of us here. And please, read--out loud, and as many times as necessary--to yourself all the stuff I put between those hearts, because it's all true.

[Hidden]

You have to contact homeless charity or mental health team emergency hospital if you feel like you cannot cope

[tulip12]

Oh beautiful soul. My heart goes out to you. You are suffering so much. There are people who care out there but you have to talk, talk , and talk. Tell everyone who will listen how you feel , what your predicament is and one of those people will hear you and help you. There is someone out there who will be put in your path to help you so just keep on talking beautiful soul.