Ability to maintain relationships?

[Hope147]

Has anyone’s anxiety and depression impacted your ability to trust and maintain healthy relationships?

I feel so alone.

[Rudolph26]

I have a lot of depression and trust issues. I don’t know if it contributed to maintaining a healthy relationship, because I haven’t exactly ever been in a healthy one. I think it more so contributed to me avoiding good relationships because the good ones just seemed too good to be true. So, if settle for the crappy ones because at least I knew what it was from the beginning. I know it sounds a little messed up. It feels even a little messed up to say but it was how I handled things a few years ago. I guess the best advice I can give is to not ignore your gut feelings about stuff and don’t avoid a good relationship because your afraid of them rejecting you. All in all, don’t be with someone you don’t trust or don’t feel you can eventually trust. It may sound stupid but I feel safer if I’m a friend first, because then I feel I have more to offer and more secure because there is more too it then just the physical bond. Sometimes moving slow with things is better. I moved fast in most relationships and that made things start horribly and contributed to ending horribly.

[Hope147 in reply to Rudolph26]

Thank you for you honestly and insights.

It helps to feel less alone.

[Ladybug9]

It can be really hard to find someone that understands both depression and anxiety and is willing to be a part of our lives, despite our issues. I have been single for over 12 years due to an ex husband that sexually abused my granddaughter. So, I have serious trust issues. However, my reasons are not the same as yours. I've actually enjoyed being with just me and my fur baby. My son lives with me but I really don't see him, strange as that sounds. I gave him the master bedroom and bath so he goes back there to spend his time other than to come out to eat! LOL... I don't believe we meet people by accident and I also believe that the right person will come into your life when the time is right. Be patient. Your forever is out there.

[Hope147 in reply to Ladybug9]

Thank you for sharing your story. Trust is a challenge. I too feel safer with my dog❤️ but loneliness is real and learning to feel safe and connect with others is still a need I have. Best of luck to you.

[Althaea]

For sure, there’s no facet of my life that goes untouched. relationships, particularly close ones, are difficult for me to keep up with-to the point where I’m known for being an elusive friend/family member/lover—I keep busy with work or studies, you know? And I think it’s a form of protection in some ways since some of those relationships might actually be toxic by nature and can actually worsen my anxiety and depression but I definitely have a laundry list of relationships that were healthier that I chose not to nourish or make much of an effort in—resulting in failure.

Making strides in my current relationship though with open communication and allowing myself to actually sit with my feelings of distrust, suspicion, or dissatisfaction without reacting or at least overreacting (it’s a work in progress, anyways).

Hang in there. You’re not alone, we’re relational creatures and our relations make us who we are and shape us-for better or worse.

[Hope147 in reply to Althaea]

Thank you. I hope you are right...loneliness, feeling like you don’t belong exacerbates my issues;(. Best of luck to you.

[Ilovepugs123]

You are not alone, Yes anxiety gets in a way of a lot of things like relationships and Also depression does too, It can impact everything. My anxiety and Depression effects my friendships and my relationships that is why people who have anxiety and depression have to learn to cope with things in different ways. I have hard time meeting new people, my anxiety takes over and it stops me from doing anything. I have trust issues with everyone I am around or talk too. I highly recommend to anybody is if you are in a relationship or about to be in a relationship with someone, to be honest and tell the other person you have anxiety and depression that way they will know whats going on and so they can either help you and be there for you. Don't feel alone you are not alone, everybody goes there this, its not just you.

[Hope147 in reply to Ilovepugs123]

Thanks! Feeling alone is the “thing” and I dive deeper into my anxiety and depression. I’ll keep trying.

[Ilovepugs123 in reply to Hope147]

I know how you feel about being alone but know you are not alone.

[pandaeyes1]

For sure! I feel so scared of opening up. I feel like I’m leading them on because I’m not being “honest”, but I’m also terrified that they’ll be disgusted when they find out my problems. Definitely casts a shadow. You’re not alone!! It sounds like from what I’ve seen on this platform, while there are partners that are not understanding, there are also partners that are wonderfully kind and supportive!

[Hope147 in reply to pandaeyes1]

Thanks. It “feels” like everyone is looking for shiny, happy people...lots of Pollyannas out there.

[Kat_21]

So, I had a lot of issues with trusting people since I was a child.

I think that once you find the right person, they will be willing to talk and come to terms with it and support you regardless. There don't seem to be that many people left that are like that, but they are out there. Trusting people is hard, I was someone who believed trust has to be earned, and eventually I found someone who put in the effort to earn it.

Every man before him would get mad about the accusations, unmotivation, and isolation. But he actually accepts and helps me through it.

You're not alone. Give it time and you'll find someone who will help you work through these issues.

I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, I hope this helps.

[Hope147 in reply to Kat_21]

Thank you. I’m 52...not feeling very hopeful. Hoping to feel less hyper vigilant and reactive in social situations...anxiety is the worst.

Be well

e

[ScarlettOwl]

I have such bad trust issues. I am in a healthy relationship which I am slowly turning toxic. I have stepped back and I am taking time for me because I deserve to be happy. I have gone through my entire life with the internal monologue that I am not good enough and I won't amount to anything. My ex broke my trust and shattered my heart. I have a hard time believing that my current boyfriend actually wants to spend the rest of his life with me. That he is not cheating on me. In reality I am cheating myself from a loving relationship because I feel like I dont deserve it. It feels too good to be true. When I get hurt I turn cold and cut off people before they can hurt me.

[Booklover0219]

Yes I believe it has. My husband is my only family. I have difficulty maintaining friendships and I feel left out at work.