I've been keeping something inside of me for too long, nobody knows about it, no one knows how I feel, my family is involve but how can I tell them, whether they won't believe me or they'll feel really really bad about it and I don't want that neither. I guess that's the main reason why I've never talked about it, neither with my therapist because I didn't see the point of bringing it out... Now I see it, it's too much for me, I can't tell my family about it so I've been dealing with it on my own for almost 20 years.
It's a very long story, it would take me a lot of time to write it here... I think I can summarize it at least...
I wanna do things in the right way, I only want everyone to be ok and happy at home but my family... Sometimes they think that I'm trying to be annoying to everyone, sometimes they shout at me and they think I make wrong things on purpose like when I'm trying to play with my little brother and he get upset about something and they yell at me thinking I should stay back and left him alone... They don't want me to stay near them (except having lunch or dinner) because they think my mistakes are on purpose
I know all of this things might sounds kinda weird but I don't know... I just need to talk about it, see if I can get an advice although the main reason why I write this post is to stop dealing with this alone... Living this causes me a lot of anxiety and I know it's not good for me
