Jealous

[Pizzaparty]

I often find myself getting jealous every time my friends make new friends , my best friend has bonded with someone else therefore we don’t talk as much , and although the bond is now an intimate relationship and for that I shouldn’t be jealous i should be happy that my friend has found new love but i always feel as though im losing to the new friends , their unfamiliar and So i feel like the old used car

[mvillarreal]

I wonder if there's something deeper than just jealousy about your friends getting close to other friends. Maybe it's a fear of rejection? Maybe it's a feeling that friends finding new friends entails their disapproval of you? Maybe it's even related to past trauma, perhaps? I would try to dig a little deeper and see what those feelings of jealousy are really about. It's difficult to deal with difficult emotions until we learn what the root of those feelings are.

[Pizzaparty in reply to mvillarreal]

It could possibly be past trauma and I’ll admit that im an insecure person , my friends friends usually always seem to have their lives together , they’ve got their looks and intelligence and most of all confidence, im a shy and quiet person and in the past I’ve had some pretty bad friends who made me feel worse about myself at a young age

As for the current friends yes i often feel as though ill be rejected in the sense of no longer being needed or wanted

[mvillarreal in reply to Pizzaparty]

It sounds like you are dealing with some negative feelings about yourself. To get a hold on the jealous feelings, it will probably be good to first reassess your perception of yourself. Are you really not as good-looking and intelligent as you perceive yourself to be? Is being quiet or shy necessarily a bad thing? Is your fear of rejection warranted? I wonder if counseling or something similar like spiritual direction might help you come to your own conclusions about those questions...

[Pizzaparty in reply to mvillarreal]

You’re right , at the beginning of quarantine i sought spiritual healing for myself and I was actually in a much better head space until suddenly I wasn’t,

Im not unattractive nor dumb but i believe things other people tell me about myself , i hardly try to replace those words with positive thoughts of my own

I do indeed though desperately need counseling , just hard to afford at the moment

[mvillarreal in reply to Pizzaparty]

There are some counseling centers that actually have you pay on a sliding scale according to your own ability. If you don't mind, you could tell me where you live (just general; city and state) and I could look one up and send you a link if you want...