Caregiver burnout

[sunnnshin]

My daughter (30) was diagnosed with Stage IV pancreatic cancer in December. Since then she has been living with us (when not in the hospital) and I have been her caregiver. I also work full time. She has a house with 3 cats I also have to maintain for her every day. I am worn out, depressed, anxious, and more and more I just want to throw things. I waver between extreme anger and extreme depression. I am both homicidal and suicidal at times. I don't know where to go I have zero time to visit a doctor or anything for myself. My husband is essential so he has been able to leave the house for work every day. He does help with caring for her cats. I get angry with my daughter when I can tell she is exaggerating, to the point I cannot tell when she just wants attention or sincerely needs help. I feel both selfish and helpless. She has complications that have caused her to become legally blind as well as leptomingeal disease and bone metastasis in her spine that cause serious back pain and headaches. I know how miserable she is and feel like a heel for being exhausted. I don't know what to do.

[Mary-intussuception]

You need a break NOW. Please settle down somewhere quiet, and get some sleep.

Please tell your husband how exhausted you are and get some outside help in.

This sounds like Sleep Depravation to me. I think you need, initially, 2 days rest and sleep, highly nourishing food and lots of fluids.

You are possibly dehydrated , not having had enough time to yourself to drink plenty of water and eat properly.

You must now care for yourself, then sort something out when you can think things through clearly.

Have you considered calling 211 ?

You are in crisis, I think I would call 211 . Or Google it and make contact via their website.

Thinking of you x

Edit:

ps

I've just done a Google search, have you heard of PanCAN ?

Pancreatic Cancer Action Network USA

Their website says they're there for Patients and Caregivers and mentions:

Free 1- to -1 Support

Helpline number:

(877) 435 - 8650

email: [e-mail]

Another to try:

American Cancer Society

(Cancer Caregiver Support)

helpline:. 1- 800 - 227 - 2345

Please keep in touch.

xx

[Sprinkle1]

Oh you poor soul, I feel for you. I did office work for 36 years, then got into in home eldercare, I worked 12 hour shifts, but got to where I would only do it 4 nights. I finally retired after 10 years, I was burnt out. That was my full time job, so I got to go home after my shift. There has to be some help for you, can you contact social services, they should have some leads for you, you cannot keep going at this rate, you will have a break down. With the right care your daughter could move back into her house. Contact the local cancer society they could probably have help information. As to your feelings i think they are quite normal under the circumstances, You need help. Are you in the US or GB, check with the Red Cross, any volunteer service who could help you. Go on line and check with google on services. You need a break, can you get away for a few days? Check with Salvation Army, they do good things for people. Trying to rack my brain for other suggestions. Please be sure an keep in touch, we will offer you love and support, I am here most of the time, I am retired....Sending love, peace, strength and big hugs........