The worst part is feeling alone

I can not tell you how real this feels right now. These past 2 weeks have felt like hell with small moments of joy. I try to take those good moments and hold them, but then the bad times make me mad at myself because I just can't feel happieness.

[Bluetj]

I understand what you are saying, however, I don't get mad at myself, at least I don't think I get mad at myself. I just hate the situation and wish it would go away, PERMANENTLY!!!!

[Hidden in reply to Bluetj]

I wish that too. Not in a death way though, I know I have things to live for and someone that I love. It just gets super hard. I want to smoke and drink so bad sometimes and it would be super easy but I hold pride in not doing those things anymore. My body feels numb sometimes when my mind is racing. At least those things would calm my mind as well. I hope you can find some healthy release.

[LoveBear]

So sorry you’re feeling alone. Please don’t be hard on yourself it’s the disease not you

[Hidden in reply to LoveBear]

I have never been diagnosed because I have never been to a therapist. Part of me figures why pay the money for someone to tell me what I already know? Validation I guess, Maybe not so much denial then. Sometimes being hard on myself is the only thing I feel like im good at. Thank you for the support!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I would rather take antidepressants and live a normal and happy life, than to go through hell everyday.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

see but the hell has become normal. And even if i feel pain, at least I still feel something. Idk, im all over the place with emotion lately.

[Hidden]

Hello overthinker2000. In regards to the small moments of happiness, I have been feeling the same way. I feel as though days are going by and I’m waiting for something to happen. But I never do anything. I lay in bed all day and dread small responsibilities I may have. Everything is exhausting. Sometimes I feel small moments of happiness, but very rarely.

I feel for you, my friend.

[RecreateMyself in reply to Hidden]

Hello, I feel the exact same way. I am starting to feel very guilty for the people that must deal with me in this state....like my family.... I am so tired of feeling this way.

[Hidden in reply to RecreateMyself]

I can totally understand where you’re coming from. I just had a conversation with my mom about how I’m feeling and what she can do to help me. Sometimes I feel like I’m being pushed too much or too hard. I know my parents are just trying to help but for some reason it makes me feel worse. Like a burden, or that I’m useless. But, they’re really just trying to help. I think it’s good to sit down and have a conversation with them. Let them know what you’re feeling, and what YOU need to be better.

[Hidden]

Do you take antidepressants?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

No, I do not take anything.