I hate myself

[justme3790]

I don't know why, but my depression has come back in full force the past couple weeks. Usually, it's seasonal but it skipped winter and is here now and I don't know what to do. I find myself thinking thoughts full of negativity such as "I hate myself" or "I am an idiot, ect". It may not sound that bad, but it's so draining to constantly hate yourself and everything you do. I want to be happy, but every time I try to challenge the negative thoughts they win. Part of me knows I'm not trying that hard though because the dark hole of depression can sometimes be familiar and comforting...but I miss who I was before and the true happiness I felt instead of the fleeting moments I get now

[Hidden]

Awesome answer from Square!!!!

The brain doesn't know the difference between truth and lies, so we need to teach it. I'm sorry you're having such thoughts; you are right in saying that it is draining to have such thoughts.

Square reminded me of an exercise I was taught through my years in therapy. This exercise has you look for evidence of your thoughts. In looking for evidence, please refer to Square's questions. Allow me to add one, though: "Has anyone ever told you you're an idiot?"

Another piece of advice for you. You say you have fleeting moments of happiness. Hang onto those for dear life. Let's make depression a person for a second, okay? This person likes nothing more than to see you hurting and cannot stand to see you happy. Have you heard the phrase "killing them with kindness"? This is what we have to do with depression. We have to dimish it's impact on us by fully enjoying the happy moments (no matter how fleeting they may be).

[Hidden]

Stay on your meds! If I have to take them for the rest of my life to live a normal and happy life, then so be it! It's no cure for depression, but it's treatable.

[pink318]

Hello,

I’m so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I have a notebook where I write down my emotions every time I’m not comfortable sharing it to anyone. It helps me to organize my thoughts and improve my mood. I hope journaling will help you to feel better. Check with your doctor, he can help you with what you are going through right now.

I hope you will remain strong. We are here for you, so please keep sharing. God bless you with His peace and strength.