Wanting to be loved..: How do you go... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Wanting to be loved..

Sovereignty1982 profile image
16 Replies

How do you go through life when you feel like your spouse of 10 years don't love you don't care for you, really don't want to be around you what do you do if you don't have friends you don't have family?

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Sovereignty1982 profile image
Sovereignty1982
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16 Replies
Sprinkle1 profile image
Sprinkle1

Find your self a good therapist, been in your shoes, it is difficult. Perhaps he does care and you should try couples therapy. Otherwise there is always divorce, been thru 3 of them and find I prefer being single. Find yourself some hobbies, get some exercise, join a local group on line, you may find some new friends. I wish you well, sending peace, love n hugs......

Sovereignty1982 profile image
Sovereignty1982

Thank you. It's hard for me to get out and I have some fears of the world. I also takes car of my elderly mother after my father pass last year. I want to get out and meet people but for those reasons it's hard. I have been done wrong by friends, so call friends. Trusting people has went all wrong for me.

Cb1963 profile image
Cb1963

Do you feel like you're spouse isn't in your life anymore? Its trying to work out where things are going wrong,sometimes work etc ,children, can change how we used to be with one another, or do you feel like you are drifting apart? And that's when you might need to see if you can both row the boat together, or are you sailing away to different destinations, and will you go even further apart if you suggested a marriage guidance counsellor,these are things that only you can work out knowing your partner's personality, if you said I want to move out, and he just shrugged his shoulders well there's your answer, nobody wants a long term relationship to come to an end,but do you want to be in something that's going to make you miserable for the rest of your days,if you are prepared to move on,eventually join a local church group,you won't be lonely, and life maybe different, or perhaps just live on your own, it's how you feel afterwards,there is no book on how we feel towards our partner's when things aren't going particularly well, maybe it's a blip,but if its causing you resentment, and you can't see any way out, perhaps you need to start asking some questions, I hope you can work things out, best wishes.

Miserable2020 profile image
Miserable2020 in reply to Cb1963

That’s good advice wish I had the nerve to do it. Bad thing is he knows I don’t and I want leave. I’ll go see my kids for a day or so and come back. 60 yrs old no job no money feeling trapped and secluded

Sovereignty1982 profile image
Sovereignty1982 in reply to Cb1963

Thank you

Tikirob profile image
Tikirob

I was in a ten year relationship that over time slowly started to separate. At times being with someone yet still feeling lonely was better than being all by myself. However when we finally broke up I was faced with getting to know myself again and learned a lot about my soul although I’m not going to lie it was very sad and painful at times.

I spoke with therapists and friend and tried to look at the opportunity as time to live on my own terms. I think now I have gained something very precious which is a better sense of self.

I felt I was not being loved by my partner and she was not supportive enough but soon realized that I was doing the same by presenting my partner with so much negativity do to my anxiety disorder. My friends drifted away my family and I were not on the best terms and I felt pretty abandoned. Unfortunately for me at the time the relationship had gone beyond repair.

I don’t know exactly what your situation is, maybe couples therapy is needed, maybe a good talk with your partner, or perhaps your partner has a problem that’s hard to talk about, but you can get through it and regardless of the outcome dealing with the issue will eventually leave in a better situation than keeping it at bay.

It’s not easy but you have HU for support. I hope sharing my story was helpful.

Sovereignty1982 profile image
Sovereignty1982 in reply to Tikirob

Thank you. I will look into therapy.

Want2BHappy3 profile image
Want2BHappy3

Do you have kids together? He might be staying for that reason if you do? I knew someone whose parents stayed for that reason. It can be lonely. Have you tried to have a talk with him even though it may not be what you want to hear? Do it so you can know where you stand and what’s your next move will be? 🙏

Sovereignty1982 profile image
Sovereignty1982 in reply to Want2BHappy3

No we do not have kids together. I have talked to him. In other words he say I need friends like I get on his nerve. Talking leads to an argument.

Cb1963 profile image
Cb1963

You don't need therapy!!! You need someone who loves you back,a relationship works where you do things together, this is what sometimes can upset me,its when I see people who are the ones who are suffering are seeking help,and yet the real culprits sit on their backsides like the world owes them everything,you sound like you are trapped, boy,I feel for you,life is for living, even if it means starting a fresh, with nothing, you'll feel like a caged animal, and forever under his spell,and is it when he's says jump,you say how high,but at the same time have your own group of friends when you have lived together?if none of this has happened and you have become totally stuck in a rut,the spark has gone, or was it even there in the first place, we can live our lives a lie ,but sometimes, something happens inside of us,and its not chasing dreams or something different, its knowing that we deserve happiness, be that living on your own,or starting a new relationship, I did exactly the same, I decided to take stock of my life, it was complex for me for other reasons, but I live on my own now,and I can perhaps learn how to move on again,I make my own decisions, and that is the best part about being single,I don't need to feel like anyone makes me feel guilty,I like to share things by the way,but sometimes when someone is just constantly taking, well enough is enough,and its just trying to find someone similar,I wish you all the confidence in the world!

Sovereignty1982 profile image
Sovereignty1982 in reply to Cb1963

Thank you for the encouragement.

Know what it’s like notvto be wanted

Maybe he changed and it’s not u

Easy for me to say

Do t let him

Be ur mitt or or self worth his mistake his error

Others may rave about u yur kindness etc qualities they are looking for That maybe he isn’t or his life something orcsomething he is going through

But that him

Not u

Agsin easy for me to say except I’ve gone through the same thing most of my life

Can’t even beg for a friend

Get it

People care here and this is yur new fAmiky

Very sincerely sorry for what ur going through

driama profile image
driama

hola yo pase exacta mente 10años casada con un hombre que siempre pense el amava amis hijos y ami y solamente me engaño solo por tener veneficios de mis hijos

crowningglory19 profile image
crowningglory19

I know it is hard especially when you have given your life and heart to this person and get nothing back from them. There are worse things than being alone. What about getting involved in a meetup or church? You have to get involved if you want to make friends. Make your life interesting, and he might be interested but at least you would have a better life. Things are opening up again, so find what you like to do, do something new that you've always wanted to do or had interest in, it doesn't matter if you suck, just do it for fun, for you. Also, volunteering is needed very much and will find you friends and purpose. Take care of yourself, take a good multi vitamin and move. <3

Sovereignty1982 profile image
Sovereignty1982 in reply to crowningglory19

Thank you. I took some baby steps today. It kinda feel ok.

GymNeed profile image
GymNeed

you know if I didn’t know any better I would have thought I wrote that response. That is exactly where I am. I have been with this man for more than half of my life been married to him 10 years and when I get the results of why my stomach continue to hurt I am out!! I’m going to go enjoy the rest of my life. I always used to tell him if I’m gonna be by myself let me be by myself. He leave me alone all the time

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